negativity
Rebels audition went horribly, as usual. It wasn't quite the train wreck my Chorale audition was, and at least I managed to sing all the notes this time, but it still wasn't what I wanted it to be. And these things are never what I want them to be, and I always feel so upset every time I come home from one.
I know that I have the potential to be so much better, and yet I can never find it. Part of the reason I get so distraught is because I'm disappointed in myself, and I guess this is the whole romance world versus the real world thing, isn't it? In my perfect world, I'm confident and amazing and everything goes exactly as I envisioned. But the truth is that I'm not, and nothing ever turns out the way I want it to, and no one ever is what I want them to be. Especially me. And that's just life, except for a charmed, lucky few.
At least now I can go lose myself in fiction.
I know that I have the potential to be so much better, and yet I can never find it. Part of the reason I get so distraught is because I'm disappointed in myself, and I guess this is the whole romance world versus the real world thing, isn't it? In my perfect world, I'm confident and amazing and everything goes exactly as I envisioned. But the truth is that I'm not, and nothing ever turns out the way I want it to, and no one ever is what I want them to be. Especially me. And that's just life, except for a charmed, lucky few.
At least now I can go lose myself in fiction.