Only Until Now.
I wanted to write something in here tonight that was captivating that would take your breath away to read it, that would make you say, wow this guy knows what's up I can feel everything that he is writing, I can write like that I used to write like that all the time.
But none of that matters, I drove away tonight, upset, let down, crushed for one reason I could never explain, because not even I know what goes on inside my head sometimes. I just feel my chest pound and my heart in my throat, I'm trying so hard to do ALL the right things, and it gets tough. I couldn't even speak on the drive home, I couldn't even utter one word I cam home and blew up at my family like normal about something stupid, because they can't understand, and sometimes I don't think they ever will. I am a very level headed person, I would have accepted a nice solid NO for an answer, I don't have a problem with rejection and I never had, but when it comes in the form of a defensive attack that did not even need to be brought on, I don't typically tolerate that. Than I come and of course I do what I always do, play something that calms me down, may make me a little anguished but still just relieves everything that I have been going through and really settles me in so I can begin to relax for the evening. I don't talk I just sit and type and write out this incredibly long post that no one will really even take the time to read through, to only get across the undeniable point of sorrow for stupid circumstances that I can't control sometimes, and I look over and she's there. I climb in bed and look into her eyes and it still feels the same way that it did over a year ago, there is still that spark, it soothes me, it calms me down, I smile at her, she smiles back I ask for a bite of her dinner and she agrees, and still looking I know that everything is right in my world, and no matter what I'm feeling, those sentiments no longer matter cause there is a greater issue here, right in front of me, that sometimes I just get so feebleminded and forget. The truth is that no matter what, love can conquer all, and for those who think they don't have it, look deeper, for me it maybe a person, but it's different for every individual
....david
ps...I want to tour really really bad.
But none of that matters, I drove away tonight, upset, let down, crushed for one reason I could never explain, because not even I know what goes on inside my head sometimes. I just feel my chest pound and my heart in my throat, I'm trying so hard to do ALL the right things, and it gets tough. I couldn't even speak on the drive home, I couldn't even utter one word I cam home and blew up at my family like normal about something stupid, because they can't understand, and sometimes I don't think they ever will. I am a very level headed person, I would have accepted a nice solid NO for an answer, I don't have a problem with rejection and I never had, but when it comes in the form of a defensive attack that did not even need to be brought on, I don't typically tolerate that. Than I come and of course I do what I always do, play something that calms me down, may make me a little anguished but still just relieves everything that I have been going through and really settles me in so I can begin to relax for the evening. I don't talk I just sit and type and write out this incredibly long post that no one will really even take the time to read through, to only get across the undeniable point of sorrow for stupid circumstances that I can't control sometimes, and I look over and she's there. I climb in bed and look into her eyes and it still feels the same way that it did over a year ago, there is still that spark, it soothes me, it calms me down, I smile at her, she smiles back I ask for a bite of her dinner and she agrees, and still looking I know that everything is right in my world, and no matter what I'm feeling, those sentiments no longer matter cause there is a greater issue here, right in front of me, that sometimes I just get so feebleminded and forget. The truth is that no matter what, love can conquer all, and for those who think they don't have it, look deeper, for me it maybe a person, but it's different for every individual
....david
ps...I want to tour really really bad.