Prologue
The air is thick, I can barely breathe in what I used to know I ponder to myself is everything really worth it, how will it all work out. What's the meaning of all this, the drive becomes longer and longer, the clouds start to thicken and gray with the amber sun hiding from our comfort. Why am I even here? Do I even deserve any of this, what's the point? Eventually I'll just wither away from all I've known, from all I'll be, I feel more and more distant from myself each day...further and further away from what I think might be what life is all about; the pursuit of happiness I suppose? I don't ever think that anyone can truly be happy, I don't think it exists, momentary bliss tends to clot and cloud our minds as what we perceive to and eternity of sunshine and pure contentment. My mind normally tends to flutter in and out of thoughts I find it harder and harder to actually become what it is I want to be. I can barely even keep my eyes open the weight of these jobs are killing me, tearing me apart from the inside out, only to put me back together and gut me again, High strung from the wire on the porch I'm ready for another round. I think it's mostly that people are scared of what would happen if crossing me with their true thoughts. The more I think about it, the less I have to lose, as they always say, or I have been told, is that the less you have to lose the more you'll put in. There isn't much going for me or anyone I know for that matter, this life has become distant bland, and so worthwhile of expending, yet I persist to continue in hopes of something better it's been awhile since I could truly say I knew what it was I wanted; or for that matter who I was at all.....