Funniest Thing Ever (well, maybe not ever...)
I'm currently laughing my ass off. I went into the kitchen just now to eat some baby food. Vanilla custard...mmmm...I won't go into my obsession with baby food at the moment...I know it's weird...
Anyway, while I was popping the lid I almost slipped on what at first appeared to be apple juice...except that we don't have any apple juice...Yes, that's right, it was DOG URINE. Wouldn't it be a perfect and fitting ending if I slipped, hit my head, and died in a puddle of dog urine in my kitchen while vainly trying to pop the lid of a jar of baby food?????? Hilarious! A strange ending to a strange life...
Some old man died in my grandma's apartment after he slipped and hit his head on the toilet...(He was the resident who lived there before her). Nobody wanted the place. That's how my grandma got it so cheap. Everyone thought the toilet was "haunted." Needless, to say, I never went anywhere near the bathroom. And I have an abnormally small bladder...
Maya, I'm glad the bright-eyed-and-blueberry tradition has been passed on to your mother. Apparently my role in life is to convert people to various healthful, fruity foods (remember the mango sorbet?). Now if only I can convince people to start eating baby food...
Anyway, while I was popping the lid I almost slipped on what at first appeared to be apple juice...except that we don't have any apple juice...Yes, that's right, it was DOG URINE. Wouldn't it be a perfect and fitting ending if I slipped, hit my head, and died in a puddle of dog urine in my kitchen while vainly trying to pop the lid of a jar of baby food?????? Hilarious! A strange ending to a strange life...
Some old man died in my grandma's apartment after he slipped and hit his head on the toilet...(He was the resident who lived there before her). Nobody wanted the place. That's how my grandma got it so cheap. Everyone thought the toilet was "haunted." Needless, to say, I never went anywhere near the bathroom. And I have an abnormally small bladder...
Maya, I'm glad the bright-eyed-and-blueberry tradition has been passed on to your mother. Apparently my role in life is to convert people to various healthful, fruity foods (remember the mango sorbet?). Now if only I can convince people to start eating baby food...