You know where it is? Well, it usually depends on where you start.
There is a silent war being waged in my kitchen.
Well, it's actually less of a war, and more of a stand-off. Possibly a game of chicken. Anyway, no one is doing dishes or taking out the trash.
This actually occurs a few times a month, but usually someone (...usually me okay, to be honest, usually Gabi) gives up and does all of the dishes and takes the trash out and we start fresh. I can't justify my instinctual belly-up response this time, however, because the dishes were all there when I came back from my trip, and therefore none of them are mine.
Plus, I already took out the trash just now, and it was so full that the bag started to rip down the middle while I was carrying it. Fun stuff.
Also, my cousins are visiting tonight, and I'm getting that weird 'hostess' anxiety that I seem to have picked up from my mom. I dislike it very much.
Aaaaaand I asked T about her hypothetical reaction to the hypothetical situation in which my hypothetical sexuality hypothetically was not as fixed on hetero as I've been letting her assume. Just because one of the cousins coming up will definitely make jokes once she drinks, now that I'm the newest news on the family gossip reel, and as much as I don't want to talk about it as a sure thing when it hasn't been for years, I even more don't want to talk about it as a secret I've been keeping, or anything else that makes it into a big deal.
Stupid me asked over text and now I have to wait for a response. Ugh.
Two of the usual suspects are having a snark contest right now and it takes so much effort to not take sides, and way more energy than I have to try to diffuse things.
To top it off, when I was pulling my toothbrush out of it's holder by my sink, and flipping the brush-side up towards me, I lost my grip on the handle and it went spinning across the room, in a perfect arc- right into the toilet. Fucking awesome.
All of these things are combining to make me grumpy. Grrr. See? The problem is that I have never figured out a way to express being grumpy that doesn't end up making me feel worse (as in angry at myself, and therefore angrier in general).
Grr Argh Poop NERDS Fuck.
Craptastic!
Shark Farts.
Bitchtits. Wait, no.
Douchewaffle!
Ah, there it is.
...not really, though; I still feel stressed and frustrated and vaguely stupid, like I want to fight someone or something and I HATE that feeling.
So of course I'm picking a fight with myself.
Shut up, brain. Shut up shut up shut up! Stop being stupid and oversensitive and self-indulgent. Stop wallowing in your own mess.
These are just conditions. They are not permanent. They will be different tomorrow and so will I.