34 weeks now
i'm sick of my life.
remember how about 34 weeks ago, aka my last entry, i said that i wanted to take control of my life, be an adult, and do shit that i've wanted to do my whole life? like smoke, drink, get my tongue pierced, so on and so forth?
well, fuck, i've been doing that this summer, and it's made me realize that it's taking me down a shitty path i guess.
earlier this week my parents told me that i'm nobody. that i'm lazy and that i'll never amount to anything. that i don't matter, that my job doesn't matter, that nothing i'm doing with my life matters. and that i'm heading down a bad road, even though i'm employed and plan on going to school in the fall.
i'm sick of this house. i'm sick of my parents suddenly making me 14 again and treating me as such. sunday through wednesday, i'm not allowed out after 10, and have to be home from work immediately if have to work. thursday through saturday i can stay out til whenever i feel like coming home, but whatever.
there's also all kinds of odd rules now. i dunno. i'm being treated like a little kid again, which is ridiculous when i was being treated independently.
i was just outside smoking. my parents smelled it and came downstairs and freaked the fuck out, and took them away and said that i shouldn't be doing that, even though my mom has like two a day. but i think that it's my decision if i want to kill myself faster. yeah, i've been a hardcore asthmatic my whole life, and smoking certainly won't help that.
whatever. i don't want to talk about that.
i just need a new life. i need to get out of this house, out of madison in general. start over. be alone. be independent. or live with a roommate or something.
i want to move to eau claire again.
remember how about 34 weeks ago, aka my last entry, i said that i wanted to take control of my life, be an adult, and do shit that i've wanted to do my whole life? like smoke, drink, get my tongue pierced, so on and so forth?
well, fuck, i've been doing that this summer, and it's made me realize that it's taking me down a shitty path i guess.
earlier this week my parents told me that i'm nobody. that i'm lazy and that i'll never amount to anything. that i don't matter, that my job doesn't matter, that nothing i'm doing with my life matters. and that i'm heading down a bad road, even though i'm employed and plan on going to school in the fall.
i'm sick of this house. i'm sick of my parents suddenly making me 14 again and treating me as such. sunday through wednesday, i'm not allowed out after 10, and have to be home from work immediately if have to work. thursday through saturday i can stay out til whenever i feel like coming home, but whatever.
there's also all kinds of odd rules now. i dunno. i'm being treated like a little kid again, which is ridiculous when i was being treated independently.
i was just outside smoking. my parents smelled it and came downstairs and freaked the fuck out, and took them away and said that i shouldn't be doing that, even though my mom has like two a day. but i think that it's my decision if i want to kill myself faster. yeah, i've been a hardcore asthmatic my whole life, and smoking certainly won't help that.
whatever. i don't want to talk about that.
i just need a new life. i need to get out of this house, out of madison in general. start over. be alone. be independent. or live with a roommate or something.
i want to move to eau claire again.