Sawajiri Legacy ;; Generation 2.1
Warnings:
Foul Language
Adult Themes
Past Updates:
1.1 1.2 1.3 1.4 1.5
When we left last the Sawajiri household, Riku and his fantastic jawline left the house and Natsuki was just embarking on her journey as an adult. Great, right? Well, we start this chapter off with a bit of a downer regardless:
Unfortunately, some parents in this world are complete fucktards and aren't too pleased when they find out their kid is gay. So, being the assholes that they are, Mallory's parents throw her out on her ass and out on the street once they find out she's been dating Nat.
... Months later, Mallory's parents died mysteriously. But let's not play the blame game today, children. We all have our little suspicions though, eh?
Of course the moment Nat finds out her girl is homeless, she welcomes her in with open arms. She also may have mentioned something along the lines of 'what goes around, comes around,' but she'll plead the fifth to that if ever asked.
So, now that Mallory is officially part of the household...
Twenty simultaneous lovers? Ha. Not likely. I think my brain would explode trying to make that happen for her without it blowing up and causing all sorts of unneeded drama. Well, at least at this point in time anyway :P
You know, I don't know what kind of company would allow their CEO to have a haircut like that, but good on them for their liberal ways. FYEAH.
Speaking of jobs, though; it's about time Nat busted out into the world of economic failure.
*Please note that anything in brackets and italics indicates sign language, as Mallory is deaf and Nat doesn't speak lol. Figured there should be some kind of distinguishable difference.
MALLORY: [So wait, you want to be a rock god, right?]
NATSUKI: *nods*
MALLORY: [Girl, how do you expect to do that without speaking? I assumed your hot ass wanted to sing, but I don't see that workin' out with this whole extended temper tantrum you got goin' on with the world.]
NATSUKI: *smirks* [Hold on a second. I'll show you.]
DRUMMER, OBVS!
Mallory takes a moment to appreciate how hot her bitch looks becoming a stereotypical bad girl. Oh, if only she knew how bad she could really get...
Meanwhile, Aiko has taken up gardening. Because... well, that's just what old people do, now isn't it? Her life is only bound to get lamer until she ultimately croaks and ends up six feet under.
On a side note, CHECK OUT THIS HOUSE. *I* want this house. Well, outside of it's obvious bug problem. But its awesome is mostly thanks to Aiko, who ended up getting §40,000 just from being at some damn party. Or, at least, that's what she told everyone. Anyone else think that "Professional Party Guest" screams "High Priced Hooker"? Yeah, me too.
Gilbert will be so pissed he missed out on all that.
Though their house may be flippin' fantastic, Nat would beg to differ. Seems like the bug infestation that decided to come out of fucking nowhere got her really ill. And when you're throwing up your guts every morning, it tends to be a bit of a suck!fest.
Well, she believed it was because of the bugs. At least until...
HOW IN THE FUCK DID THAT HAPPEN?
*In case anyone is wondering as to how the fuck this technically happened, I use InTeen xD
NATSUKI: [What in the hell did you do?!]
And this, ladies and gentleman, is the universal 'oh shit' gesture.
NATSUKI: [Start talking, because right now I'm defying fucking NATURE and I want to know WHY! Last I checked, I haven't had cock in me in... well, FOREVER.]
MALLORY: [Look, I needed the money, okay?! I didn't think the experimental treatments would actually WORK! Shit sounded ridiculous!]
MALLORY IS SO ON THE SHIT LIST.
AIKO: Bahahaha, you're having a kid? Fucking funniest shit I've ever heard! God I must have raised on hell of a slut.
Please say hello to Nat's FUCK EVERYONE look.
MALLORY: [Girl, I'm REALLY sorry...]
NATSUKI: *glares, ignores*
You know, I don't know how smart it is to greet a dog with SCARY GLOWING EYES, but hey. Let's hope that doesn't come back to bite her in the ass later on down the line.
FMLLLLLLL
Twins! I love twins. They're such a bitch to take care of but are SO ADORABLE. Anyway, meet Hiroshi and Sakura; fraternal twins. Obviously, since one's a boy and one's a girl xD And if you haven't noticed already, my naming scheme for this legacy is Japanese names, though I'm sure by Gen 10 they won't even resemble Asian in the slightest.
Nat decides that hey, maybe having kids isn't the shittiest thing in the world. They are kind of cute. Plus, it's kind of fucking cool to defy nature like that. TAKE THAT, GOD.
Birthing twins made Nat have one hell of a weight problem though, so she started working out like a crazed maniac to try to get back to her slim figure. Because she can't be an overweight Rock God, right? Right. The tabloids would tear her to shreds.
Now that Nat wasn't pissed anymore, Mallory decides to pop the question. Well, she didn't actually ask, more like just shoved a pretty rock in her face, but it worked regardless. All bitches like pretty things.
Let's pause this memorable moment to check out Mallory's impressive badonkadonk. Weight looks good on her. You could bounce a quarter off that thing.
Anyway, let's move on since nothing interesting ever happens when kids are babies:
That is probably the prettiest fucking sim kid I've ever seen, omg. Sakura is gonna be one hell of a heart breaker... or ball crusher.
Hiroshi on the other hand is kind of creepy looking, but hey. THEY BOTH HAVE CURLS THOUGH, WHICH IS ADORABLE.
Oddly enough, this had nothing to do with Nat. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DRINK PUREED BOOT, CHILDREN. Which is... ew.
MALLORY: [Alright look, I get you're on some weird, never-ending protest with this silence thing; but I know you know how to talk. You need to at least start speakin' enough to teach our kids, since in case you haven't noticed: I CAN'T.]
Nat, of course, refused. She never spoke a word in her life and she turned out fine.
Well, okay. Maybe "fine" is pushing it.
Regardless, Mallory decides it's time for her to see the therapist:
NATSUKI: *BANSHEE RAGE SCREAM OF DEATH*
THERAPIST: *winces* Well, I think it's safe to say she does not have a problem with her vocal cords.
THERAPIST: *hypnotizes* You will speak, you will sing, you will DANCE! You will do the hokey pokey and turn yourself around, because that's what it's all about! *claps*
NATSUKI: SHIT!
THERAPIST: Well, I suppose that's good enough.
AIKO: Holy mother fucking Columbian drug lord, did you just SPEAK?! Ha ha, you sound like a man!
NATSUKI: *weeps* I don't want to sound like a man! I don't want to sound like anything! I fucking hate everyone! I SHOULD STAB EVERYONE IN THE THROAT SO NO ONE CAN TALK!
MALLORY: *stares blankly since, you know, she can't hear her.*
Even though Mallory doesn't get the what the hell she's saying, she gets that she's upset and gives her one of her hugs of MAGICAL AWESOMENESS that makes everything all better. Aw.
So Nat reluctantly settles down and teaches the kids to talk.
HIROSHI: I CAN HAS DYING DOG?! *SQUEEZE*
SAKURA: OM NOM NOM. EAT ALL THE THINGS! *DROOL*
Clearly it was probably a wasted effort.
They grew up almost well adjusted though, considering.
Nat and Mallory think the hardest days are behind them. At least until...
NATSUKI: God, we seriously need to quit having sex.
MALLORY: [What?]
NATSUKI: [Me. You. Sex. END OF.]
NEXT TIME...
Will they ever find a proper contraceptive, or will the house start filling up with uncontrollable baby drool?