Where do we go from here? part 1
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: B/F, W/K
Disclaimer: Joss is God, he’s the genius behind this, he owns all.
Distribution: If you really think this is that good, just ask. faeryflames2002@yahoo.com
Summary: Post-Chosen, Giles gets a letter that may change their lives. The Slayer spell has some interesting side-effects.
Feedback: I’m a musician, it’s what I live for.
Author’s Note: this is mainly in Faith POV, but it will go into Buffy or Willow occasionally.
Author’s Note 2: the song is Crazy for This Girl by Evan and Jaron
Author’s Note 3: I never saw the end of season 4 of Angel, so I’m not sure with all the details of what happened. So not all of them will be right, probably, but just bear with me.
“We have a lot of work ahead of us,” Giles says as we all gaze into the hole of what was once good ol’ SunnyD. I, along with every other person standing there, turn and look daggers at the former Watcher.
“Can I push him in?” I ask hopefully, trying to restrain myself from punching him. Can this man ever think about anything but work? He’s like the Energizer Bunny on speed or something.
“You got my vote,” Red chimes in, grinning at me. I knew I liked that girl!
“I just wanna sleep, yo. For like a week,” I yawn as I stretch; there seemed to be a muttered agreement among the others.
“I guess we all could,” Dawn says wisely, like she was the oldest and most experienced one here. “If we wanted to.”
“Yeah, the First is scrunched, so…” We all slowly turn to Buffy, the ball is in her court now. “What do you think we should do, Buffy?”
“Yeah, you’re not the one and only Chosen anymore,” I say thoughtfully, grinning at her wickedly. “Just gotta live like a person. How does it feel?”
She just looks at me, she smiles a little, but her eyes are sad. Whenever I say something like that, she looks at me this way. It basically means: ‘I’ve never been the one and only, not since you’ve been here.’ Then her smile fades and she just looks at me thoughtfully. Yeah, I know exactly how it feels: empty, and lost, like we no longer had a purpose, and in a sense I guess that’s somewhat true.
“Buffy?” Dawn asks, pulling us both out of our shared moment of thoughtfulness, we have so few of those. “What are we going to do?”
Everyone looks at her expectantly, like she’s all-knowing now, or some shit. She just shrugs and looks around at all of us. Her eyes stay on mine for a while, as if I could fill her in on some big secret of life after slaying, then she looks down into the crater and shrugs again.
“I really have no idea,” she says finally. Then she looks back at me and smiles. “But I’m thinking, whatever it is, it can come after sleep.”
We all just stand there for a few more minutes, replaying the events of the day in our heads, or at least I was, I really can’t vouch for the others. Then Robin limps over, hand still over his stomach. That fucker!
“I don’t mean to break up your little kumbiya moment, but we should probably get going; some of us need to get to a hospital,” he says, looking at me. I can’t believe that this guy faked being dead to try and surprise me. I mean, how low can you go? What a bastard!
“Nah, the girls are Slayers now, they heal quickly,” Buffy laughs, but Robin just glares at her. “Fine, don’t get your panties in a bunch, Robin. We’ll drop you and whoever else needs it off at the nearest, above ground, hospital. But I really need to get to LA; I promised Angel I’d meet him when this was over.”
******
“Thanks for letting me come with ya, B,” I say as I start the engine. I’m so glad Giles left his car here; gotta love that man, always thinking ahead. “I don’t think I coulda spent another second with Andrew’s continuous whining. God that boy just doesn’t know when to shut up. Tell me, why did you let him live again?”
Buffy just chuckles slightly. “Yeah, I know what you mean. But we did kinda need him to help us.” I give her a puzzled look. “Ok, so I can’t think of exact reasons at the moment, but I’m sure there are some.”
We laugh again as I start to pull out, then I roll down the window and shout at Red and Ken standing all nice and cuddly on the side walk. “Hey Brat, you gonna get in or are we leaving you two here with the others?”
They walk over to the car slowly, still hand in hand. Ken tries to open the door, but I hadn’t unlocked it yet. I laugh, but she just gives me one of those looks. I do the quick unlock, lock thing that Dawn had taught me to annoy B with. Me and B start cracking up, but Ken doesn’t seem so happy.
“Hey, this isn’t fair,” she whines, and B elbows me hard in the arm.
“C’mon Faith, stop messing around, we gotta get to LA before too late.”
“Fine,” I give in reluctantly, unlocking the door. Ken opens it and lets Will in, then shuts it and goes around to the other side. Ah, stupid girl, I can’t resist that temptation. She goes to open her door, but of course, it’s locked again. We all start laughing again, except for Ken, who just pouts. “Jeez Brat, I was just kidding ya,” I say as I let her in.
“Buffy, can’t you tell her to stop calling me Brat, and tell her to behave,” she whines as she gets in.
“Hey, I have no control over Faith.”
“You got that right,” I shout, smiling brightly. “I ain’t no one’s woman.”
“Yeah, ok Faith, whatever,” B laughs.
*****
Now we’re driving through LA; well, not really driving, so much as sitting in this hot as hell piece of shit car moving a couple of inches every minute or so. I swear, we may be hot chicks with super powers, but we have the worst timing in the world. We managed to blow up SunnyD just in time to make rush hour down here. No, wait, LA is in a continuous state of rush hour, I almost forgot.
Will and Ken are all cuddly in the back, I do the occasional hand check just to annoy them. I threatened to have one of them switch places with B, but they knew I wouldn’t go that far. I’m not gonna stick B in the back, I like her right where she is.
B starts rambling on about something, but I’m not really sure what she’s talking about, traffic just started moving again, so it kinda gets my full attention at the moment. She rolls the window down to let in a semi-refreshing breeze. Someone should tell Giles that if he’s gonna get a car in So-Cal, it should at least have working AC.
This is odd, suddenly this song pops into my head. The first couple of lines kinda seem like what just happened, but I can’t remember the lyrics, or the name, or anything. I hate when that happens.
“Hey Faith?” Ken pops her head up front, I nod to show she has my attention. “Can I turn on the radio?”
“Yeah, sure, whatever floats your boat.” Whatever floats your boat? What’s that supposed to mean anyways? But whatever.
She wedges herself between our seats and starts messing with the tuner til she finds something other than static.
“Dude!” I jump as the song comes on, the others look at me all puzzled. I guess I should explain my little special moment. “Uh, I was just thinking of a song, and it was this song,” I get out before the first verse starts up.
‘She rolls the window down
And she
Talks over the sound
Of the cars that pass us by
And I don’t know why
But she’s changed my mind’
We all start to sing along as they break into the chorus.
‘Would you look at her
She looks at me
She’s got me thinking about her constantly
But she don’t know how I feel
And as she carries on without a doubt
I wonder if she’s figured out
I’m crazy for this girl’
Half way through the chorus, Will stops singing and just looks at me thoughtfully in the review mirror and smiles a little.
“Yeah, I like this song, but I haven’t heard it in a while,” Ken gets in quickly before the next verse starts.
‘She was the one to hold me
The night
The sky fell down
And what was I thinking when
The world didn’t end
Why didn’t I know what I know now’
Suddenly the station goes all staticky again. “Stupid radio, stupid car,” I shout as I hit the dash board. Yeah Faith, right, like that’s gonna help this piece of junk.
“What made you think of that song, Faith?” Will asks, still looking at me in the mirror with a slight smile.
“I dunno really,” I shrug. “I kinda just popped into my head.”
“That’s interesting,” she says thoughtfully, then goes back to cuddling with Kennedy in the back.
Ah, now I remember the rest. I hum it to myself, as the others go back to what they were doing.
‘Right now
Face to face
All my fears
Pushed aside
Right now
I’m ready to spend the rest of my life
With you’
So true. I turn to look at B, who’s now looking silently out the window. But yeah, right, like it could ever happen.
“Faith,” Buffy says, turning back to me, and I suddenly get this hopeful feeling, I don’t know why. Then she points to a sign down the road a ways. “We have to get off in two exits.” See? What did I say, it ain’t never gonna happen.
“I know where I’m goin’ B,” I reassure her. “I was here just a couple of months ago, remember?”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just find a way to get over three lanes in four miles,” B says, smiling over at me.
“It’s wonderful that Angel’s letting us stay at his place until we can figure out what we’re doing,” Red says thoughtfully.
“Well he does kinda owe us, Red,” I shrug and put on my blinker. “Especially me and you. And then I don’t think he would ever say know to B over here; she has him wrapped so tightly around her finger, I’m surprised it hasn’t fallen off yet. You and vamps B, I don’t think I’ll ever understand.”
“What makes you think you need to understand me Faith?” B says, folding her arms across her chest and looking at me like she was daring me to answer that. When I didn’t, she went on. “And why does he owe you two any more than me?”
“Well, B,” I start to explain, then a guy decides he’ll be nice and let me in front of him. “We did kinda save him from himself.”
“I’ve done that so many more times than you have,” she shoots back. Great Faith, way to piss her off. I know I should drop it, but it’s me and I don’t know when to let something go.
“Hey, I went in a coma and almost died to save him; twice. From what I heard, when Angelus showed his ugly head in SunnyD, you just sent him to hell.” What Faith, do you have a death wish or something? You know not to bring that up with B. She looks really pissed now, but she didn’t slap me or anything, so that’s an improvement. “I’m sorry Buffy, I’m stupid, I shouldn’t have brought it up.”
She still doesn’t say anything, just looks directly in front of the car, avoiding me. Shit, I’m screwed now. Forget whether or not she’ll ever like me, now it’s just a question of whether she’ll ever talk to me again.
“So, what’s Angel like?” Ken asks. I guess she could sense the tension, and just wanted to get us all talking again.
“He’s cool, you know. Dark and brooding, but cool,” I answer her while smiling in the review mirror.
“So, kinda like you then?” she asks me.
“What are you trying to get at K?” I ask in mock anger. “I am NOT like Angel.”
“Nope, at least Angel’s cool,” Will suggests; great Will, thanks for that. Then Buffy laughs a little.
“But you have the dark and brooding part down pat,” Buffy laughs some more. She seems to be over our little moment; that was quick.
“Thanks B, really, I appreciate it,” I smile at her. I manage to make it over to the exit about a quarter of a mile before we get to it. “See B, told ya I could make it. Have a little ‘faith’ in me B.”
“Cute Faith, real cute,” Buffy smiles at me.
I just shrug in reply and take the exit.
Several minutes later, we pull up in front of the Hyperion. “Well, here we are.”
“Wow, Angel’s really doing well, huh?” Buffy comments as we get out of the over heating car.
“Yeah, charging for saving does that,” I point out.
“Angel saves people then sends ‘em a bill?” Ken asks all surprised.
“Yeah, something like that,” I shrug.
“That’s so cool, why don’t you guys do that?”
“Because… because it’s unethical,” Buffy says self-righteously.
“You gotta admit Buffy, it really would’ve helped a lot last year,” Will says.
“I heard you were flippin’ burgers last year B,” I smile and knock on the door.
“Please Faith, I don’t need to be reminded of last year,” she sighs.
“Yeah sure, whatever,” I shrug as the door opens with a big green man standing on the other side. Buffy and Ken are looking at him oddly, but me and Will know who he is. “Hey Lorne, what’s up?”
“Ah, you know, same old; heard something big was going down in Sunnydale though,” he says with a smile. “How’s my favorite Slayer?”
“In one piece, and awake,” I smile and walk into the hotel. “Which is more than I can say about the last time I was here.”
“Yeah, I hope this time goes better for you. LA is a nice place you know, really it is,” he assures.
“I’ll bet. Um, you know Willow,” I say as the others follow me in. “But this is Kennedy, and this is Buffy.”
“Ah, the other Slayer.”
“Other Slayers,” Ken points out with extra emphasis on the last s.
“Slayers?” Lorne asks, confused.
“Long story,” I explain. “Angel home?”
“Oh, the big man is out. He wanted to do a sewer patrol before you all got here,” he explains. “But he should be back any time.”
“Cool,” I smile. “What about the others?”
“Fred’s down in Mexico doing research for Angel,” Lorne replies. “And Wes and Gunn are out doing some recon, they should back by tomorrow.”
“What about Cordy?” Buffy asks, me and Lorne just look at her sadly. “What?”
“You mean, Angel didn’t tell you?” I ask. “I figured he would’ve filled you in on everything when he was in Sunnydale.”
“What everything?” she asks again.
“Uh, Lorne, could you fill her in?” I ask. I don’t know the whole story, just got bits and pieces through phone conversations with Fred, but he does.
“Yeah, sure.”
*******
“So you’re saying that Angel and Darla had a son?” Buffy asks quietly after Lorne’s done explaining the last year or so to her.
“Yeah, a real pain in my ass too,” I throw in. Lorne and Will look at me sternly. “What? He was; that boy needed severe discipline.”
“And he and Cordy?”
“Yeah, disturbing, isn’t it?” Lorne shivers.
“A little, yeah,” Buffy replies with a shiver of her own. “And now Cordy’s-?”
“Yeah, she went a little loony at the end.”
“What happened to Connor?” Ken asks.
“Well, Angel got his memory erased, and now he’s just a normal kid.” I look at Lorne skeptically. “Well, as normal as he can be. Anyway, he’s living in a normal home now. Doesn’t remember anything.”
“Well, that’s a depressing tale,” Buffy sighs.
“Tell me about it,” a voice comes from behind us.
“Angel, hey,” Buffy says slowly as she turns.
“Hey Soul Boy, how’s it going?” I ask as he walks over to us. “And how come you didn’t stop by to say hi when you where in the ‘Dale?”
“It was just a quick visit,” he says apologetically. “I was going to stay and help, but Buffy wanted me here, just in case you guys didn’t- well, you know.”
“Again with the having more faith in people B,” I say to her in mock disappointment. “That hurts real deep.”
“Well, I’m sure you’ll get over it,” she assures me.
“So, I guess that everything is ok in Sunnydale now.” Nice change of subject Angel, real nice.
“Other than the fact that it’s a big crater now, yeah, everything’s cool,” Ken says like it’s just a minor detail.
“But you’re here, so that’s good, right?” he asks.
“Yeah, we made it out,” Buffy paused, then continued quietly. “Well, most of us anyway.”
“You knew that not everyone would make it B,” I try to comfort her. “We were in a war, you said so yourself; and in wars, you get casualties on both sides.”
“I’ll be ok Faith,” Buffy tries to assure me.
“You sure?” I ask, I can’t stand to see her with all this guilt. That’s supposed to be my thing.
“Yeah, I’m five by five Faith.” And there’s a dead give away that this is still eating at her conscience. “Um, Angel, where am I staying? I kinda wanna get settled before we talk about everything.”
“Yeah, it’s up here,” he says, pointing up the stairs. “Wes, Gunn, Fred, and Faith all have their own rooms, but you can chose any others.”
“Faith has her own room?” Buffy asks almost angrily.
“From last time I was here,” I point out. “It was the least they could do for me after I didn’t give up on Angel.”
“Yeah, I guess,” she says quietly and walks up the stairs with Angel.
“Buffy, I’m sorry.” Shit, I used to never say that, now look at me.
She doesn’t even stop, just keeps walking up the stairs.
“Well, that went… not so good.” Thank you Ken, I really needed the obvious pointed out to me.
“Ken, not now, please,” I beg. I don’t need her shit right now, I just hope I didn’t just screw things up with Buffy. “I’m gonna go up to my room, I gotta sleep a bit.”
“That’s good, you should get some rest, ‘cause you know, with the world saving, it makes you really tired. And now I’m babbling, so I’ll stop, and you sleep,” Will blushes.
“I’ll have everyone sing for me later,” Lorne says with a smile.
“What? What singing?” Will squeaks. Ah, this’ll be fun.
“Don’t worry, it’s painless, I swear,” Lorne smiles. “Just a little soul searching is all.”
“I’m goin’,” I inform the others as I slip away.
“Sweet dreams,” Lorne says to acknowledge my departure.
“Yeah, I wish.”
Of course, I’m not heading to my room. I’m gonna try to find where Buffy’s room is. Thankfully I meet Angel on my way up.
“Angel, which room did she take?” I ask. I just want to talk to her, make sure she’s ok.
“The one next to yours,” he laughs. “Interesting, huh?”
“Yeah, I guess,” I shrug with a weak smile. I started towards my room, then turned back. “Angel, I-I keep screwing up. I keep saying things that are just stupid. It’s like I’m still trying to compete with her and I don’t know why. It’s just stupid.”
“Faith, you’ll be ok,” Angel assures and gives me a pat on the back. “You’re all tired and she’s just over worked.”
“I know, just give her time, right?” I nod, but I don’t look at him. “I’m just worried, she’s taking this really hard. She didn’t seem to care, tried to keep her distance from all the girls ‘cause she knew they wouldn’t all make it. And all this time I thought she just didn’t care. She’s dealt with so much loss Angel, almost as much as me, and I just want her to be ok.”
“She will be,” Angel smiled down at me. “Faith, she’s Buffy, she always finds a way to make it through.”
“Yeah, you’re right,” I say with a fake smile. “I’m being stupid, why should I worry about the Chosen One, she’s got it all under control, right? Doesn’t need anyone else’s help.”
“That’s not what I meant, Faith, you know that.”
“Whatever,” I cut him off with a wave. “I’ll see you at dinner.”
I watch Angel finish walking down the stairs and make my way over to Buffy’s room. I knock lightly on her door when I get there.
“I said I’d be ok Angel,” I hear faintly from the other side of the door.
“B, it’s me,” I say. “I just wanna talk.”
“I told you I’d be fine too.”
“Please, B, talk to me,” I beg. No reply, so I just open the door slowly and walk in. “How are you doing, really?”
“Like I said down stairs,” she tries to reassure me. “Five by five.”
“Yeah, ‘cause we all know what that phrase meant when I used it,” I point out.
“Faith, let it drop.”
“No, I know this has been hard for you, it’s been hard for me,” I say slowly, joining her on the bed. “Hell, it’s been hard on all of us. I know you had the worst of it, I get that you’ve lost a lot, but so have I. I get what you’re going through B; I get the loss and the pain. If you ever wanna talk, I’m here. All you gotta do is ask.”
Still silence, great. Hey, can’t say I didn’t try, right? I get up to leave, but I feel Buffy’s hand brush mine, so I turn back around.
“Thank you Faith.” I just look at her questioningly. “For being here, for understanding when no one else does.”
“Hey, we’re the Chosen Two, right B?” I say with a smile. “We’re supposed to look out for each other.”
“Yeah,” she says, then she laughs slightly. “It’s interesting, this conversation. It kinda reminds me of when Gwen Post was here, well, in Sunnydale, and I came to talk to you.”
“I’m surprised you remembered.” I really am. I remember every moment I ever shared with her, of course. That one more than most, as I almost spilled my guts to her then.
“You’d be surprised, I have a great memory,” she smiles at me. “I just wonder what would have happened if that conversation had gone differently.”
I know one way it would’ve gone differently: I could’ve spilled my guts and you would’ve freaked, run off, and never talked to me again. “Yeah, but dwelling on what if’s never fixed anything.
“I was gonna go sleep a bit, if you need anything,” I smile and get up again. “See ya at dinner, k?”
“Yeah, sure,” she smiles back. “Thanks again.”
“Any time,” I say and head to the door. I’m half way through the door and I get the urge to turn back. “Hey, Buffy?”
“Huh?”
I love you. “Nothing.” Fuck Faith, you really need to grow a pair. It really hasn’t changed, just like five years ago. “I’m sorry about the stuff with Angel. I turned it into a competition, and that was just stupid.”
“It’s fine, we’re all having an off day,” she assures. “Sweet dreams, Faith.”
“Yeah, you too,” I say as I leave.
Pairing: B/F, W/K
Disclaimer: Joss is God, he’s the genius behind this, he owns all.
Distribution: If you really think this is that good, just ask. faeryflames2002@yahoo.com
Summary: Post-Chosen, Giles gets a letter that may change their lives. The Slayer spell has some interesting side-effects.
Feedback: I’m a musician, it’s what I live for.
Author’s Note: this is mainly in Faith POV, but it will go into Buffy or Willow occasionally.
Author’s Note 2: the song is Crazy for This Girl by Evan and Jaron
Author’s Note 3: I never saw the end of season 4 of Angel, so I’m not sure with all the details of what happened. So not all of them will be right, probably, but just bear with me.
“We have a lot of work ahead of us,” Giles says as we all gaze into the hole of what was once good ol’ SunnyD. I, along with every other person standing there, turn and look daggers at the former Watcher.
“Can I push him in?” I ask hopefully, trying to restrain myself from punching him. Can this man ever think about anything but work? He’s like the Energizer Bunny on speed or something.
“You got my vote,” Red chimes in, grinning at me. I knew I liked that girl!
“I just wanna sleep, yo. For like a week,” I yawn as I stretch; there seemed to be a muttered agreement among the others.
“I guess we all could,” Dawn says wisely, like she was the oldest and most experienced one here. “If we wanted to.”
“Yeah, the First is scrunched, so…” We all slowly turn to Buffy, the ball is in her court now. “What do you think we should do, Buffy?”
“Yeah, you’re not the one and only Chosen anymore,” I say thoughtfully, grinning at her wickedly. “Just gotta live like a person. How does it feel?”
She just looks at me, she smiles a little, but her eyes are sad. Whenever I say something like that, she looks at me this way. It basically means: ‘I’ve never been the one and only, not since you’ve been here.’ Then her smile fades and she just looks at me thoughtfully. Yeah, I know exactly how it feels: empty, and lost, like we no longer had a purpose, and in a sense I guess that’s somewhat true.
“Buffy?” Dawn asks, pulling us both out of our shared moment of thoughtfulness, we have so few of those. “What are we going to do?”
Everyone looks at her expectantly, like she’s all-knowing now, or some shit. She just shrugs and looks around at all of us. Her eyes stay on mine for a while, as if I could fill her in on some big secret of life after slaying, then she looks down into the crater and shrugs again.
“I really have no idea,” she says finally. Then she looks back at me and smiles. “But I’m thinking, whatever it is, it can come after sleep.”
We all just stand there for a few more minutes, replaying the events of the day in our heads, or at least I was, I really can’t vouch for the others. Then Robin limps over, hand still over his stomach. That fucker!
“I don’t mean to break up your little kumbiya moment, but we should probably get going; some of us need to get to a hospital,” he says, looking at me. I can’t believe that this guy faked being dead to try and surprise me. I mean, how low can you go? What a bastard!
“Nah, the girls are Slayers now, they heal quickly,” Buffy laughs, but Robin just glares at her. “Fine, don’t get your panties in a bunch, Robin. We’ll drop you and whoever else needs it off at the nearest, above ground, hospital. But I really need to get to LA; I promised Angel I’d meet him when this was over.”
******
“Thanks for letting me come with ya, B,” I say as I start the engine. I’m so glad Giles left his car here; gotta love that man, always thinking ahead. “I don’t think I coulda spent another second with Andrew’s continuous whining. God that boy just doesn’t know when to shut up. Tell me, why did you let him live again?”
Buffy just chuckles slightly. “Yeah, I know what you mean. But we did kinda need him to help us.” I give her a puzzled look. “Ok, so I can’t think of exact reasons at the moment, but I’m sure there are some.”
We laugh again as I start to pull out, then I roll down the window and shout at Red and Ken standing all nice and cuddly on the side walk. “Hey Brat, you gonna get in or are we leaving you two here with the others?”
They walk over to the car slowly, still hand in hand. Ken tries to open the door, but I hadn’t unlocked it yet. I laugh, but she just gives me one of those looks. I do the quick unlock, lock thing that Dawn had taught me to annoy B with. Me and B start cracking up, but Ken doesn’t seem so happy.
“Hey, this isn’t fair,” she whines, and B elbows me hard in the arm.
“C’mon Faith, stop messing around, we gotta get to LA before too late.”
“Fine,” I give in reluctantly, unlocking the door. Ken opens it and lets Will in, then shuts it and goes around to the other side. Ah, stupid girl, I can’t resist that temptation. She goes to open her door, but of course, it’s locked again. We all start laughing again, except for Ken, who just pouts. “Jeez Brat, I was just kidding ya,” I say as I let her in.
“Buffy, can’t you tell her to stop calling me Brat, and tell her to behave,” she whines as she gets in.
“Hey, I have no control over Faith.”
“You got that right,” I shout, smiling brightly. “I ain’t no one’s woman.”
“Yeah, ok Faith, whatever,” B laughs.
*****
Now we’re driving through LA; well, not really driving, so much as sitting in this hot as hell piece of shit car moving a couple of inches every minute or so. I swear, we may be hot chicks with super powers, but we have the worst timing in the world. We managed to blow up SunnyD just in time to make rush hour down here. No, wait, LA is in a continuous state of rush hour, I almost forgot.
Will and Ken are all cuddly in the back, I do the occasional hand check just to annoy them. I threatened to have one of them switch places with B, but they knew I wouldn’t go that far. I’m not gonna stick B in the back, I like her right where she is.
B starts rambling on about something, but I’m not really sure what she’s talking about, traffic just started moving again, so it kinda gets my full attention at the moment. She rolls the window down to let in a semi-refreshing breeze. Someone should tell Giles that if he’s gonna get a car in So-Cal, it should at least have working AC.
This is odd, suddenly this song pops into my head. The first couple of lines kinda seem like what just happened, but I can’t remember the lyrics, or the name, or anything. I hate when that happens.
“Hey Faith?” Ken pops her head up front, I nod to show she has my attention. “Can I turn on the radio?”
“Yeah, sure, whatever floats your boat.” Whatever floats your boat? What’s that supposed to mean anyways? But whatever.
She wedges herself between our seats and starts messing with the tuner til she finds something other than static.
“Dude!” I jump as the song comes on, the others look at me all puzzled. I guess I should explain my little special moment. “Uh, I was just thinking of a song, and it was this song,” I get out before the first verse starts up.
‘She rolls the window down
And she
Talks over the sound
Of the cars that pass us by
And I don’t know why
But she’s changed my mind’
We all start to sing along as they break into the chorus.
‘Would you look at her
She looks at me
She’s got me thinking about her constantly
But she don’t know how I feel
And as she carries on without a doubt
I wonder if she’s figured out
I’m crazy for this girl’
Half way through the chorus, Will stops singing and just looks at me thoughtfully in the review mirror and smiles a little.
“Yeah, I like this song, but I haven’t heard it in a while,” Ken gets in quickly before the next verse starts.
‘She was the one to hold me
The night
The sky fell down
And what was I thinking when
The world didn’t end
Why didn’t I know what I know now’
Suddenly the station goes all staticky again. “Stupid radio, stupid car,” I shout as I hit the dash board. Yeah Faith, right, like that’s gonna help this piece of junk.
“What made you think of that song, Faith?” Will asks, still looking at me in the mirror with a slight smile.
“I dunno really,” I shrug. “I kinda just popped into my head.”
“That’s interesting,” she says thoughtfully, then goes back to cuddling with Kennedy in the back.
Ah, now I remember the rest. I hum it to myself, as the others go back to what they were doing.
‘Right now
Face to face
All my fears
Pushed aside
Right now
I’m ready to spend the rest of my life
With you’
So true. I turn to look at B, who’s now looking silently out the window. But yeah, right, like it could ever happen.
“Faith,” Buffy says, turning back to me, and I suddenly get this hopeful feeling, I don’t know why. Then she points to a sign down the road a ways. “We have to get off in two exits.” See? What did I say, it ain’t never gonna happen.
“I know where I’m goin’ B,” I reassure her. “I was here just a couple of months ago, remember?”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just find a way to get over three lanes in four miles,” B says, smiling over at me.
“It’s wonderful that Angel’s letting us stay at his place until we can figure out what we’re doing,” Red says thoughtfully.
“Well he does kinda owe us, Red,” I shrug and put on my blinker. “Especially me and you. And then I don’t think he would ever say know to B over here; she has him wrapped so tightly around her finger, I’m surprised it hasn’t fallen off yet. You and vamps B, I don’t think I’ll ever understand.”
“What makes you think you need to understand me Faith?” B says, folding her arms across her chest and looking at me like she was daring me to answer that. When I didn’t, she went on. “And why does he owe you two any more than me?”
“Well, B,” I start to explain, then a guy decides he’ll be nice and let me in front of him. “We did kinda save him from himself.”
“I’ve done that so many more times than you have,” she shoots back. Great Faith, way to piss her off. I know I should drop it, but it’s me and I don’t know when to let something go.
“Hey, I went in a coma and almost died to save him; twice. From what I heard, when Angelus showed his ugly head in SunnyD, you just sent him to hell.” What Faith, do you have a death wish or something? You know not to bring that up with B. She looks really pissed now, but she didn’t slap me or anything, so that’s an improvement. “I’m sorry Buffy, I’m stupid, I shouldn’t have brought it up.”
She still doesn’t say anything, just looks directly in front of the car, avoiding me. Shit, I’m screwed now. Forget whether or not she’ll ever like me, now it’s just a question of whether she’ll ever talk to me again.
“So, what’s Angel like?” Ken asks. I guess she could sense the tension, and just wanted to get us all talking again.
“He’s cool, you know. Dark and brooding, but cool,” I answer her while smiling in the review mirror.
“So, kinda like you then?” she asks me.
“What are you trying to get at K?” I ask in mock anger. “I am NOT like Angel.”
“Nope, at least Angel’s cool,” Will suggests; great Will, thanks for that. Then Buffy laughs a little.
“But you have the dark and brooding part down pat,” Buffy laughs some more. She seems to be over our little moment; that was quick.
“Thanks B, really, I appreciate it,” I smile at her. I manage to make it over to the exit about a quarter of a mile before we get to it. “See B, told ya I could make it. Have a little ‘faith’ in me B.”
“Cute Faith, real cute,” Buffy smiles at me.
I just shrug in reply and take the exit.
Several minutes later, we pull up in front of the Hyperion. “Well, here we are.”
“Wow, Angel’s really doing well, huh?” Buffy comments as we get out of the over heating car.
“Yeah, charging for saving does that,” I point out.
“Angel saves people then sends ‘em a bill?” Ken asks all surprised.
“Yeah, something like that,” I shrug.
“That’s so cool, why don’t you guys do that?”
“Because… because it’s unethical,” Buffy says self-righteously.
“You gotta admit Buffy, it really would’ve helped a lot last year,” Will says.
“I heard you were flippin’ burgers last year B,” I smile and knock on the door.
“Please Faith, I don’t need to be reminded of last year,” she sighs.
“Yeah sure, whatever,” I shrug as the door opens with a big green man standing on the other side. Buffy and Ken are looking at him oddly, but me and Will know who he is. “Hey Lorne, what’s up?”
“Ah, you know, same old; heard something big was going down in Sunnydale though,” he says with a smile. “How’s my favorite Slayer?”
“In one piece, and awake,” I smile and walk into the hotel. “Which is more than I can say about the last time I was here.”
“Yeah, I hope this time goes better for you. LA is a nice place you know, really it is,” he assures.
“I’ll bet. Um, you know Willow,” I say as the others follow me in. “But this is Kennedy, and this is Buffy.”
“Ah, the other Slayer.”
“Other Slayers,” Ken points out with extra emphasis on the last s.
“Slayers?” Lorne asks, confused.
“Long story,” I explain. “Angel home?”
“Oh, the big man is out. He wanted to do a sewer patrol before you all got here,” he explains. “But he should be back any time.”
“Cool,” I smile. “What about the others?”
“Fred’s down in Mexico doing research for Angel,” Lorne replies. “And Wes and Gunn are out doing some recon, they should back by tomorrow.”
“What about Cordy?” Buffy asks, me and Lorne just look at her sadly. “What?”
“You mean, Angel didn’t tell you?” I ask. “I figured he would’ve filled you in on everything when he was in Sunnydale.”
“What everything?” she asks again.
“Uh, Lorne, could you fill her in?” I ask. I don’t know the whole story, just got bits and pieces through phone conversations with Fred, but he does.
“Yeah, sure.”
*******
“So you’re saying that Angel and Darla had a son?” Buffy asks quietly after Lorne’s done explaining the last year or so to her.
“Yeah, a real pain in my ass too,” I throw in. Lorne and Will look at me sternly. “What? He was; that boy needed severe discipline.”
“And he and Cordy?”
“Yeah, disturbing, isn’t it?” Lorne shivers.
“A little, yeah,” Buffy replies with a shiver of her own. “And now Cordy’s-?”
“Yeah, she went a little loony at the end.”
“What happened to Connor?” Ken asks.
“Well, Angel got his memory erased, and now he’s just a normal kid.” I look at Lorne skeptically. “Well, as normal as he can be. Anyway, he’s living in a normal home now. Doesn’t remember anything.”
“Well, that’s a depressing tale,” Buffy sighs.
“Tell me about it,” a voice comes from behind us.
“Angel, hey,” Buffy says slowly as she turns.
“Hey Soul Boy, how’s it going?” I ask as he walks over to us. “And how come you didn’t stop by to say hi when you where in the ‘Dale?”
“It was just a quick visit,” he says apologetically. “I was going to stay and help, but Buffy wanted me here, just in case you guys didn’t- well, you know.”
“Again with the having more faith in people B,” I say to her in mock disappointment. “That hurts real deep.”
“Well, I’m sure you’ll get over it,” she assures me.
“So, I guess that everything is ok in Sunnydale now.” Nice change of subject Angel, real nice.
“Other than the fact that it’s a big crater now, yeah, everything’s cool,” Ken says like it’s just a minor detail.
“But you’re here, so that’s good, right?” he asks.
“Yeah, we made it out,” Buffy paused, then continued quietly. “Well, most of us anyway.”
“You knew that not everyone would make it B,” I try to comfort her. “We were in a war, you said so yourself; and in wars, you get casualties on both sides.”
“I’ll be ok Faith,” Buffy tries to assure me.
“You sure?” I ask, I can’t stand to see her with all this guilt. That’s supposed to be my thing.
“Yeah, I’m five by five Faith.” And there’s a dead give away that this is still eating at her conscience. “Um, Angel, where am I staying? I kinda wanna get settled before we talk about everything.”
“Yeah, it’s up here,” he says, pointing up the stairs. “Wes, Gunn, Fred, and Faith all have their own rooms, but you can chose any others.”
“Faith has her own room?” Buffy asks almost angrily.
“From last time I was here,” I point out. “It was the least they could do for me after I didn’t give up on Angel.”
“Yeah, I guess,” she says quietly and walks up the stairs with Angel.
“Buffy, I’m sorry.” Shit, I used to never say that, now look at me.
She doesn’t even stop, just keeps walking up the stairs.
“Well, that went… not so good.” Thank you Ken, I really needed the obvious pointed out to me.
“Ken, not now, please,” I beg. I don’t need her shit right now, I just hope I didn’t just screw things up with Buffy. “I’m gonna go up to my room, I gotta sleep a bit.”
“That’s good, you should get some rest, ‘cause you know, with the world saving, it makes you really tired. And now I’m babbling, so I’ll stop, and you sleep,” Will blushes.
“I’ll have everyone sing for me later,” Lorne says with a smile.
“What? What singing?” Will squeaks. Ah, this’ll be fun.
“Don’t worry, it’s painless, I swear,” Lorne smiles. “Just a little soul searching is all.”
“I’m goin’,” I inform the others as I slip away.
“Sweet dreams,” Lorne says to acknowledge my departure.
“Yeah, I wish.”
Of course, I’m not heading to my room. I’m gonna try to find where Buffy’s room is. Thankfully I meet Angel on my way up.
“Angel, which room did she take?” I ask. I just want to talk to her, make sure she’s ok.
“The one next to yours,” he laughs. “Interesting, huh?”
“Yeah, I guess,” I shrug with a weak smile. I started towards my room, then turned back. “Angel, I-I keep screwing up. I keep saying things that are just stupid. It’s like I’m still trying to compete with her and I don’t know why. It’s just stupid.”
“Faith, you’ll be ok,” Angel assures and gives me a pat on the back. “You’re all tired and she’s just over worked.”
“I know, just give her time, right?” I nod, but I don’t look at him. “I’m just worried, she’s taking this really hard. She didn’t seem to care, tried to keep her distance from all the girls ‘cause she knew they wouldn’t all make it. And all this time I thought she just didn’t care. She’s dealt with so much loss Angel, almost as much as me, and I just want her to be ok.”
“She will be,” Angel smiled down at me. “Faith, she’s Buffy, she always finds a way to make it through.”
“Yeah, you’re right,” I say with a fake smile. “I’m being stupid, why should I worry about the Chosen One, she’s got it all under control, right? Doesn’t need anyone else’s help.”
“That’s not what I meant, Faith, you know that.”
“Whatever,” I cut him off with a wave. “I’ll see you at dinner.”
I watch Angel finish walking down the stairs and make my way over to Buffy’s room. I knock lightly on her door when I get there.
“I said I’d be ok Angel,” I hear faintly from the other side of the door.
“B, it’s me,” I say. “I just wanna talk.”
“I told you I’d be fine too.”
“Please, B, talk to me,” I beg. No reply, so I just open the door slowly and walk in. “How are you doing, really?”
“Like I said down stairs,” she tries to reassure me. “Five by five.”
“Yeah, ‘cause we all know what that phrase meant when I used it,” I point out.
“Faith, let it drop.”
“No, I know this has been hard for you, it’s been hard for me,” I say slowly, joining her on the bed. “Hell, it’s been hard on all of us. I know you had the worst of it, I get that you’ve lost a lot, but so have I. I get what you’re going through B; I get the loss and the pain. If you ever wanna talk, I’m here. All you gotta do is ask.”
Still silence, great. Hey, can’t say I didn’t try, right? I get up to leave, but I feel Buffy’s hand brush mine, so I turn back around.
“Thank you Faith.” I just look at her questioningly. “For being here, for understanding when no one else does.”
“Hey, we’re the Chosen Two, right B?” I say with a smile. “We’re supposed to look out for each other.”
“Yeah,” she says, then she laughs slightly. “It’s interesting, this conversation. It kinda reminds me of when Gwen Post was here, well, in Sunnydale, and I came to talk to you.”
“I’m surprised you remembered.” I really am. I remember every moment I ever shared with her, of course. That one more than most, as I almost spilled my guts to her then.
“You’d be surprised, I have a great memory,” she smiles at me. “I just wonder what would have happened if that conversation had gone differently.”
I know one way it would’ve gone differently: I could’ve spilled my guts and you would’ve freaked, run off, and never talked to me again. “Yeah, but dwelling on what if’s never fixed anything.
“I was gonna go sleep a bit, if you need anything,” I smile and get up again. “See ya at dinner, k?”
“Yeah, sure,” she smiles back. “Thanks again.”
“Any time,” I say and head to the door. I’m half way through the door and I get the urge to turn back. “Hey, Buffy?”
“Huh?”
I love you. “Nothing.” Fuck Faith, you really need to grow a pair. It really hasn’t changed, just like five years ago. “I’m sorry about the stuff with Angel. I turned it into a competition, and that was just stupid.”
“It’s fine, we’re all having an off day,” she assures. “Sweet dreams, Faith.”
“Yeah, you too,” I say as I leave.