emotional breakdown part. 2
this is me being unable to sleep. this is me clearing my head. if you ever mention this entry to me i will hate you.
Dear FutureBoyWhoSeesPotentialinMe,
I just want to let you know that I am super picky. I don't give many people chances. So if I open up to you, please know that I think you're special. I'm not good at realtionships. I want you to know that I really am trying my hardest. I just want to make sure you are happy &that you have someone who is always there for you. You won't ever recognize this though. I don't demand anything &i'm not needy. I'm not going to mooch off you or take advantage of you or fight with you. So you don't have to worry about those things. I'm not really good at saying how I really feel. This is why I keep a lot of journals. This might frusterate you. If you have a question ask me, and I promise I will answer even if I find it hard. Don't be decieved by me. You're not showing intrest in me because you think I'm pretty. Because I'm not. You are showing interest because my personality appears to compensate for the things I lack. It will take you almost exactly two months to realize that I'm boring and dull. You will then analyze everything you have going on in your life &you will come to the conclusion that you have better things you could be wasting your time on. You're better off alone. You'll call me and tell me this in the nicest way possible &i won't say much, or show much emotion. I don't cry ever. So you don't have to worry about tears. If you expect to stay friends, don't. Chances are we were never really friends in the first place, and if we were, I'll make it awkward, even if try my hardest not to. So in the future, when you meet me, &you think I'm something worth persuing, make sure it's what you really want--i'm what you really want. Because in the end, you are going to walk away from me, without a scratch, &i'll be the one with scrapes &bruises.
Dear FutureBoyWhoSeesPotentialinMe,
I just want to let you know that I am super picky. I don't give many people chances. So if I open up to you, please know that I think you're special. I'm not good at realtionships. I want you to know that I really am trying my hardest. I just want to make sure you are happy &that you have someone who is always there for you. You won't ever recognize this though. I don't demand anything &i'm not needy. I'm not going to mooch off you or take advantage of you or fight with you. So you don't have to worry about those things. I'm not really good at saying how I really feel. This is why I keep a lot of journals. This might frusterate you. If you have a question ask me, and I promise I will answer even if I find it hard. Don't be decieved by me. You're not showing intrest in me because you think I'm pretty. Because I'm not. You are showing interest because my personality appears to compensate for the things I lack. It will take you almost exactly two months to realize that I'm boring and dull. You will then analyze everything you have going on in your life &you will come to the conclusion that you have better things you could be wasting your time on. You're better off alone. You'll call me and tell me this in the nicest way possible &i won't say much, or show much emotion. I don't cry ever. So you don't have to worry about tears. If you expect to stay friends, don't. Chances are we were never really friends in the first place, and if we were, I'll make it awkward, even if try my hardest not to. So in the future, when you meet me, &you think I'm something worth persuing, make sure it's what you really want--i'm what you really want. Because in the end, you are going to walk away from me, without a scratch, &i'll be the one with scrapes &bruises.