(no subject)
Dollface
Panic! At The Disco
PG-13; for the wtf27 challenge: transformation ( inanimate ). Thanks to hyoukai once again for being my cheerleader and an all around awesome human being.
The thing was, they were short one guitarist and plus one very pretty, very fragile looking doll.
Spencer was the one who found out. This was, obviously, due to the fact that he had been the one sharing the room with Ryan. He'd knocked brusquely on the door to Jon and Brendon's room before letting himself in, not even bothering to wait for either of them to answer. Both Brendon and Jon had known Spencer long enough to know that this meant business, since Spencer wasn't really one for just barging in without permission ( this was more along the lines of something that Brendon did whenever the opportunity arose ).
Both Jon and Brendon stopped shoving stray dirty clothes into suitcases and looked at Spencer expectantly.
"I think," Spencer said, "that you guys should come and look at this."
He turned and walked back out. Jon looked at Brendon. Brendon looked at Jon. Neither one of them followed Spencer, opting to continue to pick up their things. Sometimes, it was just better to ignore Spencer's orders. Besides, Ryan was in there. Spencer could order him around.
Five minutes later, once it was clear that Brendon and Jon had ignored him, Spencer was back in the doorway. "Right now, you guys," he said, walking far enough inside to grab Brendon's arm and haul him out into the hallway and across to the room he'd shared with Ryan. ( Brendon, because Jon dug his feet in and didn't like to be tugged anywhere. ) Jon followed, just in case a fight broke out. He liked spontaneous wrestling matches that ended up with Brendon and Spencer on the floor trying to choke each other best. Brendon usually won, because he fought dirty.
What Spencer wanted to show them, apparently, was the doll lying on the bed. Jon was completely baffled as to why this was important, until he took a good look at the thing.
"Did someone give that to Ryan?" he asked absently. Even though he wondered where someone would get a porcelain doll with scene hair and fingerless gloves. A boy doll wearing eyeliner, no less. And one that looked exactly like Ryan, only made of porcelain and paint.
"I don't know," Spencer said, reaching out and smacking Brendon's hands before he could pick it up.
"Ow, what the fuck," Brendon asked, glaring at Spencer.
"It was here this morning. It wasn't here last night. Ryan was here last night," Spencer said. "So, either some freak broke in and kidnapped Ryan, or this is Ryan."
"Or, logically," Jon said, because this was really just ridiculous, "Ryan is a dick and left it there while he went out for coffee and donuts without you."
"Ryan doesn't go out for coffee and donuts without me," Spencer said. Jon snorted, finding it funny despite the fact that this was actually true.
"Come on, Spencer, you can't really think that Ryan turned into this doll. That's ridiculous," Brendon said, reaching out to pick it up again. "Or that someone like, broke in and abducted him. It's really hard to break into hotel rooms." ( Brendon knew this from experience locking himself out during a diva-fit one night. Ryan had refused to open up and let him back in, and he'd tried every lock-picking technique in his limited knowledge before ending up sitting on the floor for forty-five minutes. )
"Brendon!" Spencer said, reaching out again but now Brendon actually had the doll in his hands and the last thing that Spencer wanted was to break it, with the thought in his mind that it might be Ryan. "You shouldn't touch it!"
"Why not?" Brendon asked, looking at him like he'd lost his mind. It was pretty ridiculous, Jon realized, when Brendon didn't believe what Spencer was saying.
"It could be evidence!" Spencer said.
"Of what?" Brendon asked. Why was Spencer being so ridiculous? "Why don't you just think that oh, Ryan's a dick and is playing a really stupid joke on you?"
"A, Ryan wouldn't do that. B, where would he get a doll that looked just like him? And c, Ryan doesn't play jokes," Spencer said. "We're talking about the same Ryan, right? Ryan Ross? Known him since I was little? Cranky kid, likes makeup?"
"Yeah, but still." Brendon was just looking at Spencer, holding the Ryan-doll by one hand and the other hand planted firmly on his hip. Jon settled down on the bed, watching them.
"Brendon, just go with me on this?" Spencer asked.
"It's really sort of ridiculous," Jon said finally. "I mean, how would Ryan turn into a doll? I mean, assuming that he did, in fact, turn into a doll. Which, I hate to say because it means that Brendon is right and you know how he gets when he'd right about things, is really ridiculous."
"Then explain it, Jon," Spencer said, sitting on the other bed and crossing his arms, thinking about working into a sulk.
"I say that Ryan left it here to fuck with you," Jon said. "Yeah, it's about the stupidest joke ever, but it makes more sense than he turned into a doll. And we know no one broke in and left it, because let's face it, you would have known, Spencer. There would've been noise from people breaking in, and it would've woken you up. Ryan would've put up a fight and woken you up."
"Unless they drugged him," Brendon said, taking off the little hat the doll was wearing and looking at it's hair before putting it back on. It looked exactly like the stage costume. It looked a little ridiculous on the doll, actually. Brendon thought it looked better on the real Ryan.
"Shut up, Brendon," Jon said, annoyed because he'd seen Spencer's eyes get a little wider and horrified. "Come on, Spencer. Stop freaking out about this and use your brain. If they broke in, it would've woken you up, and even if it didn't, it would've woken Ryan up, because he wakes up if you even look at him while he's sleeping sometimes. So you would've heard him putting up a fight. And people just don't turn into dolls."
Spencer sighed. "You're right. I know you're right. It's just. Ryan, you know. He wouldn't play a joke like this and that was all I could think of, and ... I don't know. He even left his phone here." Ryan's sidekick was sitting on the bedside table.
"He'll be back, and then you can chew him out for being an asshole, okay?" Jon said. Brendon tossed the doll down on the bed. Jon watched Spencer panic to catch it and keep it on the bed, safe. This was ridiculous, honestly.
"I'm going to go finish packing up my stuff," he announced. "Ryan better hurry his ass back here, because we have to go." And with that, he turned and walked out of the room. Jon rolled his eyes.
"If he's not back before we have to leave -- which he will be, Spence, relax, okay? -- then we can... consider other options," Jon said.
Spencer nodded, and Jon went to continue getting ready to leave. Spencer stood up and looked at the doll for a moment, before moving to pick up his own discarded things, and Ryan's.
***
This is what happened:
Sometimes boys had needs. Especially boys that were twenty years old and hadn't gotten laid in what seemed like an extremely long time. Sometimes they picked up girls, took them back to hotel rooms, and fucked them.
Ryan didn't do it normally, but it seemed like the right thing at the time. Well, not the right thing, but some thing, and he needed to get laid. Besides, she seemed like a nice girl and she was pretty and didn't seem to have a clue who he was, which was always a bonus to him.
However.
On rare occasions, the boys with the needs picked the wrong girl to mess with. So when Ryan showed the girl the door, she decided she'd have a little bit of revenge.
This is what Ryan did not know:
1. The girl actually knew who Ryan was. She wasn't stupid. She was young and she didn't live under a rock. In fact, the only thing that kept him from knowing was that she was very, very good at playing dumb.
2. The girl had a working knowledge of voo doo. So when Ryan kicked her out so discourteously that morning, he had fucked himself over in the worst way.
And so:
The girl turned Ryan into a porcelain doll. The magazines were always talking about how fragile he was, and one had even gone so far as to compare him to one, so why not make the comparison that much more complete?
Spencer thinking that this was what had happened was, however, a complete coincidence.
***
Ryan still hadn't shown back up at the hotel room, despite the fact that the time they were meant to be on the road headed to the next city had already come and passed. And passed by a long shot. Spencer, Brendon, and Jon had all gathered back up in the hotel room that Spencer had previously shared with Ryan, but now shared with a porcelain doll.
In fact, Brendon was sitting on the bed with the doll in his lap. Spencer had protested it, saying that they should leave the doll alone, but Brendon had ignored him.
"This is ridiculous," Jon said. He was standing between the beds, looking back and forth between Brendon, sitting there playing with the doll's hair, and Spencer, sitting there glaring at Brendon playing with the doll's hair. "Ryan is not a doll."
"Maybe he finally snapped," Brendon said, tugging the little hat back down over the doll's hair and tossing it down on the bed beside him, pulling his legs up and sitting indian style and holding onto his ankles. "Maybe he's at the airport right now, on his way back to Vegas."
"Oh sure, because Ryan would totally get up and ditch the family he has left," Spencer said, giving Brendon a look that probably could have melted the paint off the walls. Brendon didn't seem to be phased by it. Jon just watched them going back and forth, not wanting to get involved, cause that look to be directed at him, or worse, cause Brendon to fly into a complete bitchfit.
"I'm just saying, maybe he snapped and decided he needed to get away from all of this," Brendon said. It made sense to him, because sometimes he felt like he wanted to do it sometimes himself. "Maybe it's you, Spencer."
"Me?" Spencer said, his eyes going wide and if there was going to be a fistfight, Jon really wanted to get out of the way. "Why me? Why not you?"
"Because he loves me," Brendon said dramatically, snatching up the doll and hugging it to his chest, knocking it's hat off. Jon stepped between them as Spencer started to get up, presumably to beat the snot out of Brendon.
"Stop it," Jon said. "You two being twelve year old girls is not going to help us figure this out any better. And stop squishing the doll, Brendon, just in case."
Brendon looked at Jon like he'd grown a second head. "Just in case of what, Jonathan?" he asked, completely shocked that Jon was suddenly siding up with Spencer. "In case Ryan ACTUALLY turned into a doll?"
"Look, I know it sounds really, really stupid," Jon said, and Spencer made a little indignant noise. "But it's really sort of... look, Ryan's gone. Disappeared."
"You know, maybe we should, I don't know, call the police then and be like, oh no, our friend has been abducted and we're pretty sure that that's the case and not that he just left, because see, he left his cell phone and he's really kind of addicted to it, so we know that he was clearly abducted." Brendon spit this out all in one breath. It was really fascinating to Jon that he had the ability to do things like this.
"He didn't get abducted!" Spencer snapped. "Stop saying that!"
"Look, it makes way more sense than saying he turned into a fucking doll!" Brendon burst out, waving the doll around at Spencer. Jon personally thought that Brendon was rather enjoying the horrified look that appeared on Spencer's face as the doll flew through the air.
"If you break that doll, I am going to hurt you, Brendon," Jon said tiredly, because if Brendon did that, then Spencer was probably going to kill him, and then there'd be bloodshed and Jon didn't want to have to clean up after them. "Spencer, sit down and relax, okay? Both of you just. Brendon." Jon reached out and snatched the doll out of Brendon's hands, and after a short struggle, Brendon relinquished it and Jon walked over and laid it down on the dresser.
"Okay," he continued. "We just need to chill out. Suspending all logic, how the hell did Ryan turn into a doll?"
***
Ryan, as a doll, cannot:
Move, feel, or otherwise do anything that would actually require the use of nerve endings or muscles.
He can, however:
Hear everything that is being said about him and the situation.
He does:
Try to mentally convey to Jon that the doll is him. Definitely him, and to figure out a way to change him back. And despite the fact that Spencer already believes that Ryan is the doll, Jon does not.
And, despite being a doll, Ryan has a headache.
***
"Magic?" Brendon suggests, looking at Jon and giving him his best "I'm pretending to be totally serious because I think you are all out of your mind" look. "Someone zipped into the room and transfigured him into a doll! Of course! Why didn't I think of that!"
Spencer started to get up again, and Jon pushed him back down. "Resist the urge to kill him," Jon said, trying to at least keep the peace somewhat. "I know it's hard, but I do it every day."
"Liar, you love me," Brendon said, grinning up at Jon. Jon turned and looked at him for a moment.
"Not right this instant I don't," Jon said, smirking slightly. "So shut up and let's please, please try to figure this out? As far as we know, Ryan is actually that doll over there."
"Okay," Brendon said, sighing, a little annoyed. "So what if he was actually turned into a doll by magic, Jonathan."
"Are you being serious now?" Jon asked.
"Deadly serious," Brendon said. "Magic."
"Magic doesn't actually exist," Spencer said, frowning at Brendon.
"People don't actually turn into dolls either, asshole," Brendon said, leaning back on the bed on his elbows, looking at Jon and Spencer.
"Please can I kill him?" Spencer asked, looking at Jon.
"So when Ryan is not a doll, he can kill you for killing his lead singer?" Jon asked. Spencer frowned. Brendon grinned.
"He'll understand," Spencer said. Jon rolled his eyes.
"No, he'll be really pissed at you, and you know this," Jon said. "So anyway. Say Ryan is turned into a doll by magic. Just -- just saying, Spencer, stop sighing like that or I'm going to hit you, seriously. How do we turn him back?"
"With magic," Spencer said, mimicking Brendon's voice. Brendon flipped him off.
"Oh, I give up," Jon said, throwing up his hands and walking out of the room. Brendon looked at Spencer, and Spencer twitched like he was going to jump up and try to strangle Brendon.
"So do you really think that Ryan's the doll?" Brendon asked.
"Do you really think that I won't kill you in your sleep?" Spencer asked.
"You love me," Brendon said, but he got up and walked out anyway. Best not to chance it.
Spencer sighed and sprawled backward onto the bed. This was so fucked up.
***
Spencer carried the doll down to the bus as they loaded up. Worst came to worst, they'd lie and say that Ryan was just sick. Or something. They'd make something up. Spencer carried the doll down carefully, and Brendon dragged Ryan's bag along with his. Spencer tucked the doll into Ryan's bunk and walked back into the lounge, where Jon was already rummaging around for Guitar Hero guitar.
"How can you play games at a time like this?" Spencer demanded.
"What else am I supposed to do, Spencer?" Jon asked, looking at the other boy blankly. "If Ryan's the doll, I can't change him back. If he's not the doll, I don't know where he is and he left his Sidekick so there's no way to get hold of him. What do you want me to do?"
"Figure out what we do without him," Spencer said. Jon paused, and looked at him. It was really sad, because okay, Ryan was Spencer's best friend, but Spencer just looked so confused.
"There's nothing we can do without him," Jon said. "Except, I guess maybe play with a temp, and I don't think any of us want to do that? So there's nothing we can do, Spencer. You just have to... You'll just have to wait and see what happens."
Spencer sighed and sank down on the couch beside Jon, who'd started up the game and was getting ready to play. He sat there for a moment, then he reached out and turned it off, opting to just wrap his arm around Spencer's shoulder instead.
"We'll figure something out, Spence," Jon said. "Ryan will be back and things will be fine."
Spencer sighed and curled up beside Jon. Jon sighed as well, hugging Spencer to him. "Things will be fine," he whispered back to Jon, and the older boy nodded.
He just hoped that it was true and Ryan really would just magically reappear.
***
Even as a doll, Ryan knows that this is upsetting Spencer. Ryan just wishes that there was some way he could tell them. Some way that they could magically turn him back.
But Ryan also knows that it's out of his, and their, control.
***
Brendon made sure that no one was around to see him when he quietly slid the curtains of Ryan's empty bunk aside and slid the doll out. He put the curtains back into place and slipped back into his own bunk with the doll. He propped himself up on the pillows and bent the doll so that it was sitting on his stomach.
It really did look exactly like Ryan, with all it's clothes down to it's tiny little facial features. It even had eyeliner around it's eyes. And it had the same sad look that Ryan always seemed to have lately. Brendon sighed.
"Look," he said, eyeing the doll. "If you're actually Ryan -- and you'd better fucking be actually Ryan, because if you're not I feel like an ass laying here talking to a fucking doll -- you'd better hurry up and turn back into Ryan, because I am seriously going to have a breakdown if you don't."
The doll just looked at him with glassy brown eyes and no change of expression. And sure, sometimes Ryan looked at Brendon that way, but at least there was warmth when he got that look from Ryan. Brendon sighed and straightened the doll out, hugging it to his chest.
"Turn back, Ryan, even if you squish me because you're on top of me right now," Brendon whispered. "Just turn back into a person. I miss you and I think Spencer's going to kill me in my sleep."
Nothing happened. The doll continued to lay there, motionless. Of course it did. It was only a doll.
***
Ryan is:
Screaming.
And no one can hear him.
***
Three days later, Ryan was still missing. Three days later, Spencer was starting to wonder if maybe they should've called the police or filed a missing persons report or something. Three days later, even Spencer thought that the idea that his best friend had turned into a doll was ridiculous.
Three days later, Spencer realized that the doll was missing from Ryan's bunk.
The only reason it took three days was because Spencer was trying to figure out a way to fix all of this.. He spent all his time doing research on the internet, or sitting in the lounge reading. But mostly researching. Pretty much, he was positive that if anyone saw the sort of things that he was googling, they'd think he'd lost his mind.
Maybe he had lost his mind. But all he wanted was to have his best friend back.
So after three days of carrying on in this fashion, he went to get the doll out of Ryan's bunk. Maybe, just maybe, if the doll was with him, he'd have some kind of epiphany and figure out a way to fix everything that was wrong. He'd magically figure out a way to change Ryan back.
The doll wasn't in the bunk.
"Are you kidding me?" Spencer asked aloud. He turned and flipped back the edge of Jon's curtain and flipped the other boy on the forehead. Jon's face scrunched up and then he opened his eyes to look at Spencer.
"Are you going to the Pete Wentz School of How To Wake Up Bandmates?" Jon asked him, squinting through bleary eyes, like he couldn't quite get Spencer to focus. "Because I swear to god, Spencer Smith, if you start waking me up like that, I will punch you, just like I did Pete the last time he woke me up that way."
"The doll's missing," Spencer said.
"The doll cannot be missing," Jon said. "Ask Brendon if he moved it, or something." He sat up and rubbed at his eyes a little bit. Spencer moved to Brendon's bunk and jerked the curtain back.
"Brendon," Spencer said, and Jon could just see the back of Brendon's head where the other boy was curled up on his side, sleeping. "Brendon. Where is the doll? Do you know where the doll is?"
"Go away," Brendon groaned, and then he turned over, and Jon saw him squinting at Spencer, not bothering to put his glasses on. "God, can't you just let a guy sleep?"
"The doll is missing," Spencer said, "and I need to know where -- is that it? Right there?"
Brendon frowned at Spencer. "No?" he said, but Jon could see him shifting around like he was trying to hide something from Spencer. Jon suddenly felt like he wanted to start laughing.
"Then what are you..." Spencer lunged into the bunk and there was a scuffle, ending with Brendon tumbling out onto the floor and knocking Spencer down, tumbling the other boy back against the bunks. They wrestled around on the floor until Spencer let out a yelp. "You bit me!"
"You were choking me!" Brendon yelled back. Jon could no longer help himself and started laughing, rolling onto his back. He was really in the most ridiculous band on the planet. First their guitarist turned into a doll, then their frontman got into altercations with their drummer that ended in biting.
"You're sleeping with the doll!" Spencer yelled. "The doll! The Ryan doll! Sleeping with it!"
"Am not," Brendon said, though that was obviously a blatant lie at this point. Spencer yelped with rage and threw himself onto Brendon. Jon laughed some more while they wrestled around on the floor, both ending up red-faced and panting, their hair and clothes a mess. Jon was breathless from laughing at them, and he climbed down and stood between them.
"Stop fighting," Jon said. "Spencer, what did you need the doll for?" he asked.
"I..." Spencer started, still breathing hard. "I was thinking that, you know, maybe if I had the doll with me while I was looking for a way to change him back, I'd actually find something."
Jon nodded. That made sense, about as much as any of this whole ordeal made sense. He turned to Brendon, whose face was red and a little sweaty, but he wasn't breathing hard as Spencer. "What do you have the doll for?" Jon asked him.
"I was just. Uh." Jon could tell that Brendon was trying to think of a lie to tell and be quick about it. "I just, you know, thought maybe I could encourage him to change back?"
Jon grinned. "Sure. Sure, that's it. He likes being in your presence so much that he just can't resist not being a doll anymore. He'll just pop back into being a real boy."
"Maybe!" Brendon said, raising his voice. Which, all things considered, was pretty loud, since Brendon didn't seem to have an indoor voice at all. Jon wondered if he'd gotten in trouble a lot in elementary school for being so loud.
"You're so full of shit, all the time," Spencer said, leaning into Brendon's bunk and fishing out the doll, pushing himself up to his feet and carrying it into the back lounge, closing the door behind him.
Brendon was pouting on the floor, looking up at Jon. "I miss Ryan," he said quietly. Maybe he did have an indoor volume after all. "And I was thinking, maybe, if I kept the doll with me, I'd figure out a way to change him back. Like Spencer's hoping. Like the doll could tell me, or something."
Jon sighed and sank down to sit on the floor. "This is ridiculous," he said. Brendon leaned his head against Jon's shoulder.
"I know. It's stupid, huh?" Brendon said. "It's stupid because I know that there's no way that that doll can actually be Ryan, because it's just. People don't turn into dolls, Jon. It doesn't happen. And what if Ryan never comes back? What if he ran away and got kidnapped or arrested or something? He's pretty and he'd get ripped apart."
"I'm sure that Ryan appreciates that you think he's pretty," Jon said. "But... yeah, it's stupid, but it's happening."
"Make it stop happening," Brendon said, before pushing himself up and crawling back into his bunk, jerking the curtains shut. Jon sighed. This was also the most dramatic band ever.
***
Ryan:
Wishes he could tell Spencer about the girl.
But mostly:
He wishes that he were a person again so that he could hug his best friend and not have to think about him being so sad anymore.
***
Two days later, they filed the police report. After five days, Spencer had finally caved. He just couldn't keep believing that Ryan had turned into a doll. They called the police, took the reprimanding that they deserved for not contacting the police as soon as Ryan had gone missing.
Then there was nothing that they could do but wait. They holed up in a hotel room and waited. There were people calling and asking for interviews, but there was nothing they could say. Their guitarist was gone, either walked out or abducted, and there was nothing that they could tell anyone that would make any of this make sense.
Spencer stayed in the room. In fact, Spencer had completely withdrawn from them and was letting Jon and Brendon handle pretty much everything. And that was fine, up to the moment when Brendon dropped the glass in the bathroom and it had shattered around his feet. Jon had heard it break, and found Brendon sitting on the edge of the bathtub.
"I'm not going to cry," he'd told Jon. Jon had called housekeeping to have someone come and clean it up, warned Spencer, who was dozing on and off on one of the beds. Jon promised to bring him something back and he hauled Brendon out of the room, wrapping a scarf around the younger boy's neck as he dragged him down the hallway.
"Thanks," Brendon said, his voice tight as Jon pulled him in the elevator.
"Yeah, well, you're too old to start crying if you drop a glass and it breaks," Jon said. He gave Brendon the tiniest bit of a smile. He was just afraid that if Brendon started crying, then he was going to have a complete breakdown too. He adjusted the scarf as they rode the elevator down to the lobby.
Now, instead of Zack escorting them, they had a police officer following them at a distance. Brendon kept his head down as they walked, and Jon kept his hands shoved into his pockets.
The girl stopped them as they started into Starbucks.
"Can I talk to you?" she asked them. Jon eyed her up. She obviously wasn't going to hurt them or try to kidnap them or anything. She was short and slight, probably too small to do anything to them.
"No," Brendon said, trying to ignore her and walk into the building. Jon frowned at him.
"Sure," Jon said. He could at least be nice.
"Um," she said. "It's about Ryan. See, I uh. I... turned him into a doll and I'm really sorry, can we please... go somewhere else? I'll tell you how to change him back, I swear."
Brendon suddenly looked like he wanted to choke this girl to death. Jon touched his arm lightly. "Are you serious?" he asked. Of course she was. How the hell else was this girl going to know that they'd thought that Ryan was a doll?
"We're going to get something to drink, then you can tell us," Jon said.
"No," Brendon said. "We're going now."
"So the police can know and think that we're crazy?" Jon asked him. "Just act like we know this girl--" Jon turned to her. "What's your name?"
"Kristy, and I'm really sorry, just so you know. I... well, okay, I did it on purpose, but I didn't mean to scare you guys or get the police involved or anything," she said.
"Yeah, well," Brendon said, and Jon shushed him. Brendon glared.
"We're going to pretend that we know Kristy," Jon continued deliberately, ready to clamp his hand over Brendon's mouth and hold on, even if Brendon bit him. "And we're going to go in there and get coffee. We are going to bring some back to Spencer, and we are going to pretend like nothing strange is going on, is that clear, Brendon?"
Brendon glared at Jon, then at Kristy, then nodded.
Twenty minutes later, they were back in the hotel room. Jon was smart enough not to hand Spencer his coffee before the girl had revealed why she was there.
"What?" Spencer yelled. "Why the fuck would you do that?"
"Because he fucked me and told me to get out!" The girl yelled right back. Spencer looked startled, and Jon coughed. Maybe Ryan had deserved what he'd gotten, just a little. She took a deep breath and looked at Spencer long and hard. "Look, he deserved what he got. He was an asshole."
"So what about everything else? We called the police because our friend is missing," Spencer said.
"No he isn't," Kristy said. "He's right there." She jabbed a finger in the direction of the doll, lying propped up against the pillows on the bed. "And look, he deserved what he got, but I wasn't thinking. I didn't think about how it might affect you guys. And I certainly didn't think that the police would get involved."
"Well, they are," Brendon said nastily, glaring at the girl. Jon sighed.
"Tell us how to change him back," Jon said. "We won't press charges or anything. No one will believe us, besides, so. Just tell us how to change him back."
"Well," Kristy said. "It's a little complicated."
A little complicated actually turned out to involve a very large fire, a ridiculous chant, and Jon, Spencer, and Brendon being naked.
"No way," Brendon said. "No fucking way."
"Brendon," Spencer whined. This was Ryan! They were trying to turn Ryan back!
"Don't whine at me. I'm not dancing naked anywhere," Brendon said.
"That's funny," Jon said, "because you do it around the dressing room every night."
"You!" Brendon said, pointing at Jon. "You shut up. You're ruining my argument. Okay, I am not dancing naked anywhere that is in front of anyone but you guys."
"We should be so privelaged," Jon said, rolling his eyes.
"I knew I hated you, Jon Walker," Brendon said, poking his finger into Jon's breastbone. Jon made a face and grabbed at Brendon's finger.
Jon pressed his nose up against Brendon's cheek. "You love me," Jon said. Brendon made a face right back at him.
"Look, are you guys going to do this or not?" Kristy asked them. Spencer nodded his head. All he wanted to do was change Ryan back. Jon hesitated, but then he nodded as well.
Brendon was still shaking his head even as they dragged him out of the room, carrying the doll.
***
Ryan:
Will never tell his friends what he saw that night.
***
Kristy does the chanting and the boys do the dancing. It's ridiculous and embarrassing and Brendon swears that he is going to kill them all, even Ryan, if he ever comes back, in their sleep.
In the end, what actually changes Ryan from a little doll sitting beside the fire back into a real boy sitting naked beside the fire is Kristy throwing a small talisman into the blaze.
The naked dancing was just for her own personal amusement.
***
Ryan:
Saw Kristy throw the talisman into the fire.
He knows that that is what changed him back.
But the naked dancing was pretty funny, so he says nothing.
***
Ryan met Kristy's eyes, the fire too hot on his bare skin. "Where'd my clothes go," he asked her, his voice hoarse from a week of no use at all.
"Don't know," she tells him, and he glares at her, because those were his favourite pajama pants. "Don't do that to anyone ever again," she adds. "Because you never know what will happen to you."
She pets his hair and steps back as Spencer throws himself at Ryan, hugging him tightly. Ryan returns the hug before the idea that they're both naked settled in and he squeaks. "Clothes first!" he protests. Spencer pulls away and blushes, maybe, but maybe it's the heat from the fire and the fact that he's been naked for the past twenty minutes.
Jon and Brendon have the good grace to at least put on their pants before they touch Ryan at all. They all hug him, even though he's still trying to remember how to move and his whole body feels week. He vows no more one night stands after that.
Kristy disappears. But she helpfully leaves the blanket she'd been sitting on lying on the ground. It comes in handy when they realize that they have nothing for Ryan to wear.
***
It's the next morning before Ryan tears into Brendon for not wanting to help him out, for not being willing to do the stupid naked dance to change Ryan back.
"You know, I'd think that you'd be just as willing to do it as Spencer was," Ryan said, glaring at him from the bed, where he was showered and shaved and actually wearing clothes. He was glaring. Brendon had almost missed the glaring and the cranky little frown on Ryan's face. "Especially after all the things you said when I was a doll."
"You could hear that?" Brendon asked, his eyes going wide. "You knew?"
"You snuggled me. You cuddled a doll, Brendon, and you talked to me. You fucking missed me, you dick, and you weren't going to make an ass out of yourself to fix me?" Ryan said.
"Why are you so bitchy right now?" Brendon asked.
"Because I've been a doll a week and someone who's so fucking in ... fucking like or love or what the fuck ever is so worried about making an ass of himself that he won't do something to help change me back into a human being!"
Brendon blinked.
***
When Ryan was a doll:
Brendon was upset because Ryan was gone.
Brendon was upset because Ryan wasn't there to pick at.
But mostly, Brendon was upset because the little doll's face was permanently stuck in the sad little expression Brendon worked so hard to make disappear from Ryan's face all the time.
***
"Ryan," Brendon said. "It's not that. I'm not in love with you. I do love you. I just hated that your little doll face was stuck in that sad little expression."
"Is that all?" Ryan asked.
"Okay, maybe I'm in love with you a little," Brendon said. "But mostly I just want you to smile."
"Brendon," Ryan sighed, and rolled his eyes, leaning close to hug the other boy. "Just, next time you have to do something stupid to make me not a porcelain doll? Please just do it."
"Don't turn into a porcelain doll anymore so I don't have to," Brendon shot back. Ryan laughed, and let go of him.
"Fine, I won't," Ryan said, grinning.
He hugged Brendon once more, then got up to go and find Spencer.
Five minutes later, he came back, Spencer and Jon in tow. "Brendon! We're going for coffee. Come on," Ryan said, and the door swung shut.
They were almost to the elevator when Brendon caught up to them. Ryan looked up and grinned at him. "See, you love me," he said. "You do whatever I ask."
"You're right," Brendon said, grinning right back at him. "I love you. But you love me too, or you wouldn't order me around that way."
"Oh, you bet," Ryan said.
"See!" Brendon yelled, looking at Spencer. "I told you he loved me!"
Spencer rolled his eyes.
"Aww, group hug guys," Jon said, reaching out and throwing his arms around both Ryan and Brendon, squishing them together as he reached out to grab hold of Spencer. Ryan made an unintelligible noise of squished shock.
The lady that was already in the elevator when the door opened looked at them like they were some kind of four-headed monster when the doors opened and revealed Jon and Spencer squishing Ryan and Brendon between them.
Their work there was obviously done.
Panic! At The Disco
PG-13; for the wtf27 challenge: transformation ( inanimate ). Thanks to hyoukai once again for being my cheerleader and an all around awesome human being.
The thing was, they were short one guitarist and plus one very pretty, very fragile looking doll.
Spencer was the one who found out. This was, obviously, due to the fact that he had been the one sharing the room with Ryan. He'd knocked brusquely on the door to Jon and Brendon's room before letting himself in, not even bothering to wait for either of them to answer. Both Brendon and Jon had known Spencer long enough to know that this meant business, since Spencer wasn't really one for just barging in without permission ( this was more along the lines of something that Brendon did whenever the opportunity arose ).
Both Jon and Brendon stopped shoving stray dirty clothes into suitcases and looked at Spencer expectantly.
"I think," Spencer said, "that you guys should come and look at this."
He turned and walked back out. Jon looked at Brendon. Brendon looked at Jon. Neither one of them followed Spencer, opting to continue to pick up their things. Sometimes, it was just better to ignore Spencer's orders. Besides, Ryan was in there. Spencer could order him around.
Five minutes later, once it was clear that Brendon and Jon had ignored him, Spencer was back in the doorway. "Right now, you guys," he said, walking far enough inside to grab Brendon's arm and haul him out into the hallway and across to the room he'd shared with Ryan. ( Brendon, because Jon dug his feet in and didn't like to be tugged anywhere. ) Jon followed, just in case a fight broke out. He liked spontaneous wrestling matches that ended up with Brendon and Spencer on the floor trying to choke each other best. Brendon usually won, because he fought dirty.
What Spencer wanted to show them, apparently, was the doll lying on the bed. Jon was completely baffled as to why this was important, until he took a good look at the thing.
"Did someone give that to Ryan?" he asked absently. Even though he wondered where someone would get a porcelain doll with scene hair and fingerless gloves. A boy doll wearing eyeliner, no less. And one that looked exactly like Ryan, only made of porcelain and paint.
"I don't know," Spencer said, reaching out and smacking Brendon's hands before he could pick it up.
"Ow, what the fuck," Brendon asked, glaring at Spencer.
"It was here this morning. It wasn't here last night. Ryan was here last night," Spencer said. "So, either some freak broke in and kidnapped Ryan, or this is Ryan."
"Or, logically," Jon said, because this was really just ridiculous, "Ryan is a dick and left it there while he went out for coffee and donuts without you."
"Ryan doesn't go out for coffee and donuts without me," Spencer said. Jon snorted, finding it funny despite the fact that this was actually true.
"Come on, Spencer, you can't really think that Ryan turned into this doll. That's ridiculous," Brendon said, reaching out to pick it up again. "Or that someone like, broke in and abducted him. It's really hard to break into hotel rooms." ( Brendon knew this from experience locking himself out during a diva-fit one night. Ryan had refused to open up and let him back in, and he'd tried every lock-picking technique in his limited knowledge before ending up sitting on the floor for forty-five minutes. )
"Brendon!" Spencer said, reaching out again but now Brendon actually had the doll in his hands and the last thing that Spencer wanted was to break it, with the thought in his mind that it might be Ryan. "You shouldn't touch it!"
"Why not?" Brendon asked, looking at him like he'd lost his mind. It was pretty ridiculous, Jon realized, when Brendon didn't believe what Spencer was saying.
"It could be evidence!" Spencer said.
"Of what?" Brendon asked. Why was Spencer being so ridiculous? "Why don't you just think that oh, Ryan's a dick and is playing a really stupid joke on you?"
"A, Ryan wouldn't do that. B, where would he get a doll that looked just like him? And c, Ryan doesn't play jokes," Spencer said. "We're talking about the same Ryan, right? Ryan Ross? Known him since I was little? Cranky kid, likes makeup?"
"Yeah, but still." Brendon was just looking at Spencer, holding the Ryan-doll by one hand and the other hand planted firmly on his hip. Jon settled down on the bed, watching them.
"Brendon, just go with me on this?" Spencer asked.
"It's really sort of ridiculous," Jon said finally. "I mean, how would Ryan turn into a doll? I mean, assuming that he did, in fact, turn into a doll. Which, I hate to say because it means that Brendon is right and you know how he gets when he'd right about things, is really ridiculous."
"Then explain it, Jon," Spencer said, sitting on the other bed and crossing his arms, thinking about working into a sulk.
"I say that Ryan left it here to fuck with you," Jon said. "Yeah, it's about the stupidest joke ever, but it makes more sense than he turned into a doll. And we know no one broke in and left it, because let's face it, you would have known, Spencer. There would've been noise from people breaking in, and it would've woken you up. Ryan would've put up a fight and woken you up."
"Unless they drugged him," Brendon said, taking off the little hat the doll was wearing and looking at it's hair before putting it back on. It looked exactly like the stage costume. It looked a little ridiculous on the doll, actually. Brendon thought it looked better on the real Ryan.
"Shut up, Brendon," Jon said, annoyed because he'd seen Spencer's eyes get a little wider and horrified. "Come on, Spencer. Stop freaking out about this and use your brain. If they broke in, it would've woken you up, and even if it didn't, it would've woken Ryan up, because he wakes up if you even look at him while he's sleeping sometimes. So you would've heard him putting up a fight. And people just don't turn into dolls."
Spencer sighed. "You're right. I know you're right. It's just. Ryan, you know. He wouldn't play a joke like this and that was all I could think of, and ... I don't know. He even left his phone here." Ryan's sidekick was sitting on the bedside table.
"He'll be back, and then you can chew him out for being an asshole, okay?" Jon said. Brendon tossed the doll down on the bed. Jon watched Spencer panic to catch it and keep it on the bed, safe. This was ridiculous, honestly.
"I'm going to go finish packing up my stuff," he announced. "Ryan better hurry his ass back here, because we have to go." And with that, he turned and walked out of the room. Jon rolled his eyes.
"If he's not back before we have to leave -- which he will be, Spence, relax, okay? -- then we can... consider other options," Jon said.
Spencer nodded, and Jon went to continue getting ready to leave. Spencer stood up and looked at the doll for a moment, before moving to pick up his own discarded things, and Ryan's.
***
This is what happened:
Sometimes boys had needs. Especially boys that were twenty years old and hadn't gotten laid in what seemed like an extremely long time. Sometimes they picked up girls, took them back to hotel rooms, and fucked them.
Ryan didn't do it normally, but it seemed like the right thing at the time. Well, not the right thing, but some thing, and he needed to get laid. Besides, she seemed like a nice girl and she was pretty and didn't seem to have a clue who he was, which was always a bonus to him.
However.
On rare occasions, the boys with the needs picked the wrong girl to mess with. So when Ryan showed the girl the door, she decided she'd have a little bit of revenge.
This is what Ryan did not know:
1. The girl actually knew who Ryan was. She wasn't stupid. She was young and she didn't live under a rock. In fact, the only thing that kept him from knowing was that she was very, very good at playing dumb.
2. The girl had a working knowledge of voo doo. So when Ryan kicked her out so discourteously that morning, he had fucked himself over in the worst way.
And so:
The girl turned Ryan into a porcelain doll. The magazines were always talking about how fragile he was, and one had even gone so far as to compare him to one, so why not make the comparison that much more complete?
Spencer thinking that this was what had happened was, however, a complete coincidence.
***
Ryan still hadn't shown back up at the hotel room, despite the fact that the time they were meant to be on the road headed to the next city had already come and passed. And passed by a long shot. Spencer, Brendon, and Jon had all gathered back up in the hotel room that Spencer had previously shared with Ryan, but now shared with a porcelain doll.
In fact, Brendon was sitting on the bed with the doll in his lap. Spencer had protested it, saying that they should leave the doll alone, but Brendon had ignored him.
"This is ridiculous," Jon said. He was standing between the beds, looking back and forth between Brendon, sitting there playing with the doll's hair, and Spencer, sitting there glaring at Brendon playing with the doll's hair. "Ryan is not a doll."
"Maybe he finally snapped," Brendon said, tugging the little hat back down over the doll's hair and tossing it down on the bed beside him, pulling his legs up and sitting indian style and holding onto his ankles. "Maybe he's at the airport right now, on his way back to Vegas."
"Oh sure, because Ryan would totally get up and ditch the family he has left," Spencer said, giving Brendon a look that probably could have melted the paint off the walls. Brendon didn't seem to be phased by it. Jon just watched them going back and forth, not wanting to get involved, cause that look to be directed at him, or worse, cause Brendon to fly into a complete bitchfit.
"I'm just saying, maybe he snapped and decided he needed to get away from all of this," Brendon said. It made sense to him, because sometimes he felt like he wanted to do it sometimes himself. "Maybe it's you, Spencer."
"Me?" Spencer said, his eyes going wide and if there was going to be a fistfight, Jon really wanted to get out of the way. "Why me? Why not you?"
"Because he loves me," Brendon said dramatically, snatching up the doll and hugging it to his chest, knocking it's hat off. Jon stepped between them as Spencer started to get up, presumably to beat the snot out of Brendon.
"Stop it," Jon said. "You two being twelve year old girls is not going to help us figure this out any better. And stop squishing the doll, Brendon, just in case."
Brendon looked at Jon like he'd grown a second head. "Just in case of what, Jonathan?" he asked, completely shocked that Jon was suddenly siding up with Spencer. "In case Ryan ACTUALLY turned into a doll?"
"Look, I know it sounds really, really stupid," Jon said, and Spencer made a little indignant noise. "But it's really sort of... look, Ryan's gone. Disappeared."
"You know, maybe we should, I don't know, call the police then and be like, oh no, our friend has been abducted and we're pretty sure that that's the case and not that he just left, because see, he left his cell phone and he's really kind of addicted to it, so we know that he was clearly abducted." Brendon spit this out all in one breath. It was really fascinating to Jon that he had the ability to do things like this.
"He didn't get abducted!" Spencer snapped. "Stop saying that!"
"Look, it makes way more sense than saying he turned into a fucking doll!" Brendon burst out, waving the doll around at Spencer. Jon personally thought that Brendon was rather enjoying the horrified look that appeared on Spencer's face as the doll flew through the air.
"If you break that doll, I am going to hurt you, Brendon," Jon said tiredly, because if Brendon did that, then Spencer was probably going to kill him, and then there'd be bloodshed and Jon didn't want to have to clean up after them. "Spencer, sit down and relax, okay? Both of you just. Brendon." Jon reached out and snatched the doll out of Brendon's hands, and after a short struggle, Brendon relinquished it and Jon walked over and laid it down on the dresser.
"Okay," he continued. "We just need to chill out. Suspending all logic, how the hell did Ryan turn into a doll?"
***
Ryan, as a doll, cannot:
Move, feel, or otherwise do anything that would actually require the use of nerve endings or muscles.
He can, however:
Hear everything that is being said about him and the situation.
He does:
Try to mentally convey to Jon that the doll is him. Definitely him, and to figure out a way to change him back. And despite the fact that Spencer already believes that Ryan is the doll, Jon does not.
And, despite being a doll, Ryan has a headache.
***
"Magic?" Brendon suggests, looking at Jon and giving him his best "I'm pretending to be totally serious because I think you are all out of your mind" look. "Someone zipped into the room and transfigured him into a doll! Of course! Why didn't I think of that!"
Spencer started to get up again, and Jon pushed him back down. "Resist the urge to kill him," Jon said, trying to at least keep the peace somewhat. "I know it's hard, but I do it every day."
"Liar, you love me," Brendon said, grinning up at Jon. Jon turned and looked at him for a moment.
"Not right this instant I don't," Jon said, smirking slightly. "So shut up and let's please, please try to figure this out? As far as we know, Ryan is actually that doll over there."
"Okay," Brendon said, sighing, a little annoyed. "So what if he was actually turned into a doll by magic, Jonathan."
"Are you being serious now?" Jon asked.
"Deadly serious," Brendon said. "Magic."
"Magic doesn't actually exist," Spencer said, frowning at Brendon.
"People don't actually turn into dolls either, asshole," Brendon said, leaning back on the bed on his elbows, looking at Jon and Spencer.
"Please can I kill him?" Spencer asked, looking at Jon.
"So when Ryan is not a doll, he can kill you for killing his lead singer?" Jon asked. Spencer frowned. Brendon grinned.
"He'll understand," Spencer said. Jon rolled his eyes.
"No, he'll be really pissed at you, and you know this," Jon said. "So anyway. Say Ryan is turned into a doll by magic. Just -- just saying, Spencer, stop sighing like that or I'm going to hit you, seriously. How do we turn him back?"
"With magic," Spencer said, mimicking Brendon's voice. Brendon flipped him off.
"Oh, I give up," Jon said, throwing up his hands and walking out of the room. Brendon looked at Spencer, and Spencer twitched like he was going to jump up and try to strangle Brendon.
"So do you really think that Ryan's the doll?" Brendon asked.
"Do you really think that I won't kill you in your sleep?" Spencer asked.
"You love me," Brendon said, but he got up and walked out anyway. Best not to chance it.
Spencer sighed and sprawled backward onto the bed. This was so fucked up.
***
Spencer carried the doll down to the bus as they loaded up. Worst came to worst, they'd lie and say that Ryan was just sick. Or something. They'd make something up. Spencer carried the doll down carefully, and Brendon dragged Ryan's bag along with his. Spencer tucked the doll into Ryan's bunk and walked back into the lounge, where Jon was already rummaging around for Guitar Hero guitar.
"How can you play games at a time like this?" Spencer demanded.
"What else am I supposed to do, Spencer?" Jon asked, looking at the other boy blankly. "If Ryan's the doll, I can't change him back. If he's not the doll, I don't know where he is and he left his Sidekick so there's no way to get hold of him. What do you want me to do?"
"Figure out what we do without him," Spencer said. Jon paused, and looked at him. It was really sad, because okay, Ryan was Spencer's best friend, but Spencer just looked so confused.
"There's nothing we can do without him," Jon said. "Except, I guess maybe play with a temp, and I don't think any of us want to do that? So there's nothing we can do, Spencer. You just have to... You'll just have to wait and see what happens."
Spencer sighed and sank down on the couch beside Jon, who'd started up the game and was getting ready to play. He sat there for a moment, then he reached out and turned it off, opting to just wrap his arm around Spencer's shoulder instead.
"We'll figure something out, Spence," Jon said. "Ryan will be back and things will be fine."
Spencer sighed and curled up beside Jon. Jon sighed as well, hugging Spencer to him. "Things will be fine," he whispered back to Jon, and the older boy nodded.
He just hoped that it was true and Ryan really would just magically reappear.
***
Even as a doll, Ryan knows that this is upsetting Spencer. Ryan just wishes that there was some way he could tell them. Some way that they could magically turn him back.
But Ryan also knows that it's out of his, and their, control.
***
Brendon made sure that no one was around to see him when he quietly slid the curtains of Ryan's empty bunk aside and slid the doll out. He put the curtains back into place and slipped back into his own bunk with the doll. He propped himself up on the pillows and bent the doll so that it was sitting on his stomach.
It really did look exactly like Ryan, with all it's clothes down to it's tiny little facial features. It even had eyeliner around it's eyes. And it had the same sad look that Ryan always seemed to have lately. Brendon sighed.
"Look," he said, eyeing the doll. "If you're actually Ryan -- and you'd better fucking be actually Ryan, because if you're not I feel like an ass laying here talking to a fucking doll -- you'd better hurry up and turn back into Ryan, because I am seriously going to have a breakdown if you don't."
The doll just looked at him with glassy brown eyes and no change of expression. And sure, sometimes Ryan looked at Brendon that way, but at least there was warmth when he got that look from Ryan. Brendon sighed and straightened the doll out, hugging it to his chest.
"Turn back, Ryan, even if you squish me because you're on top of me right now," Brendon whispered. "Just turn back into a person. I miss you and I think Spencer's going to kill me in my sleep."
Nothing happened. The doll continued to lay there, motionless. Of course it did. It was only a doll.
***
Ryan is:
Screaming.
And no one can hear him.
***
Three days later, Ryan was still missing. Three days later, Spencer was starting to wonder if maybe they should've called the police or filed a missing persons report or something. Three days later, even Spencer thought that the idea that his best friend had turned into a doll was ridiculous.
Three days later, Spencer realized that the doll was missing from Ryan's bunk.
The only reason it took three days was because Spencer was trying to figure out a way to fix all of this.. He spent all his time doing research on the internet, or sitting in the lounge reading. But mostly researching. Pretty much, he was positive that if anyone saw the sort of things that he was googling, they'd think he'd lost his mind.
Maybe he had lost his mind. But all he wanted was to have his best friend back.
So after three days of carrying on in this fashion, he went to get the doll out of Ryan's bunk. Maybe, just maybe, if the doll was with him, he'd have some kind of epiphany and figure out a way to fix everything that was wrong. He'd magically figure out a way to change Ryan back.
The doll wasn't in the bunk.
"Are you kidding me?" Spencer asked aloud. He turned and flipped back the edge of Jon's curtain and flipped the other boy on the forehead. Jon's face scrunched up and then he opened his eyes to look at Spencer.
"Are you going to the Pete Wentz School of How To Wake Up Bandmates?" Jon asked him, squinting through bleary eyes, like he couldn't quite get Spencer to focus. "Because I swear to god, Spencer Smith, if you start waking me up like that, I will punch you, just like I did Pete the last time he woke me up that way."
"The doll's missing," Spencer said.
"The doll cannot be missing," Jon said. "Ask Brendon if he moved it, or something." He sat up and rubbed at his eyes a little bit. Spencer moved to Brendon's bunk and jerked the curtain back.
"Brendon," Spencer said, and Jon could just see the back of Brendon's head where the other boy was curled up on his side, sleeping. "Brendon. Where is the doll? Do you know where the doll is?"
"Go away," Brendon groaned, and then he turned over, and Jon saw him squinting at Spencer, not bothering to put his glasses on. "God, can't you just let a guy sleep?"
"The doll is missing," Spencer said, "and I need to know where -- is that it? Right there?"
Brendon frowned at Spencer. "No?" he said, but Jon could see him shifting around like he was trying to hide something from Spencer. Jon suddenly felt like he wanted to start laughing.
"Then what are you..." Spencer lunged into the bunk and there was a scuffle, ending with Brendon tumbling out onto the floor and knocking Spencer down, tumbling the other boy back against the bunks. They wrestled around on the floor until Spencer let out a yelp. "You bit me!"
"You were choking me!" Brendon yelled back. Jon could no longer help himself and started laughing, rolling onto his back. He was really in the most ridiculous band on the planet. First their guitarist turned into a doll, then their frontman got into altercations with their drummer that ended in biting.
"You're sleeping with the doll!" Spencer yelled. "The doll! The Ryan doll! Sleeping with it!"
"Am not," Brendon said, though that was obviously a blatant lie at this point. Spencer yelped with rage and threw himself onto Brendon. Jon laughed some more while they wrestled around on the floor, both ending up red-faced and panting, their hair and clothes a mess. Jon was breathless from laughing at them, and he climbed down and stood between them.
"Stop fighting," Jon said. "Spencer, what did you need the doll for?" he asked.
"I..." Spencer started, still breathing hard. "I was thinking that, you know, maybe if I had the doll with me while I was looking for a way to change him back, I'd actually find something."
Jon nodded. That made sense, about as much as any of this whole ordeal made sense. He turned to Brendon, whose face was red and a little sweaty, but he wasn't breathing hard as Spencer. "What do you have the doll for?" Jon asked him.
"I was just. Uh." Jon could tell that Brendon was trying to think of a lie to tell and be quick about it. "I just, you know, thought maybe I could encourage him to change back?"
Jon grinned. "Sure. Sure, that's it. He likes being in your presence so much that he just can't resist not being a doll anymore. He'll just pop back into being a real boy."
"Maybe!" Brendon said, raising his voice. Which, all things considered, was pretty loud, since Brendon didn't seem to have an indoor voice at all. Jon wondered if he'd gotten in trouble a lot in elementary school for being so loud.
"You're so full of shit, all the time," Spencer said, leaning into Brendon's bunk and fishing out the doll, pushing himself up to his feet and carrying it into the back lounge, closing the door behind him.
Brendon was pouting on the floor, looking up at Jon. "I miss Ryan," he said quietly. Maybe he did have an indoor volume after all. "And I was thinking, maybe, if I kept the doll with me, I'd figure out a way to change him back. Like Spencer's hoping. Like the doll could tell me, or something."
Jon sighed and sank down to sit on the floor. "This is ridiculous," he said. Brendon leaned his head against Jon's shoulder.
"I know. It's stupid, huh?" Brendon said. "It's stupid because I know that there's no way that that doll can actually be Ryan, because it's just. People don't turn into dolls, Jon. It doesn't happen. And what if Ryan never comes back? What if he ran away and got kidnapped or arrested or something? He's pretty and he'd get ripped apart."
"I'm sure that Ryan appreciates that you think he's pretty," Jon said. "But... yeah, it's stupid, but it's happening."
"Make it stop happening," Brendon said, before pushing himself up and crawling back into his bunk, jerking the curtains shut. Jon sighed. This was also the most dramatic band ever.
***
Ryan:
Wishes he could tell Spencer about the girl.
But mostly:
He wishes that he were a person again so that he could hug his best friend and not have to think about him being so sad anymore.
***
Two days later, they filed the police report. After five days, Spencer had finally caved. He just couldn't keep believing that Ryan had turned into a doll. They called the police, took the reprimanding that they deserved for not contacting the police as soon as Ryan had gone missing.
Then there was nothing that they could do but wait. They holed up in a hotel room and waited. There were people calling and asking for interviews, but there was nothing they could say. Their guitarist was gone, either walked out or abducted, and there was nothing that they could tell anyone that would make any of this make sense.
Spencer stayed in the room. In fact, Spencer had completely withdrawn from them and was letting Jon and Brendon handle pretty much everything. And that was fine, up to the moment when Brendon dropped the glass in the bathroom and it had shattered around his feet. Jon had heard it break, and found Brendon sitting on the edge of the bathtub.
"I'm not going to cry," he'd told Jon. Jon had called housekeeping to have someone come and clean it up, warned Spencer, who was dozing on and off on one of the beds. Jon promised to bring him something back and he hauled Brendon out of the room, wrapping a scarf around the younger boy's neck as he dragged him down the hallway.
"Thanks," Brendon said, his voice tight as Jon pulled him in the elevator.
"Yeah, well, you're too old to start crying if you drop a glass and it breaks," Jon said. He gave Brendon the tiniest bit of a smile. He was just afraid that if Brendon started crying, then he was going to have a complete breakdown too. He adjusted the scarf as they rode the elevator down to the lobby.
Now, instead of Zack escorting them, they had a police officer following them at a distance. Brendon kept his head down as they walked, and Jon kept his hands shoved into his pockets.
The girl stopped them as they started into Starbucks.
"Can I talk to you?" she asked them. Jon eyed her up. She obviously wasn't going to hurt them or try to kidnap them or anything. She was short and slight, probably too small to do anything to them.
"No," Brendon said, trying to ignore her and walk into the building. Jon frowned at him.
"Sure," Jon said. He could at least be nice.
"Um," she said. "It's about Ryan. See, I uh. I... turned him into a doll and I'm really sorry, can we please... go somewhere else? I'll tell you how to change him back, I swear."
Brendon suddenly looked like he wanted to choke this girl to death. Jon touched his arm lightly. "Are you serious?" he asked. Of course she was. How the hell else was this girl going to know that they'd thought that Ryan was a doll?
"We're going to get something to drink, then you can tell us," Jon said.
"No," Brendon said. "We're going now."
"So the police can know and think that we're crazy?" Jon asked him. "Just act like we know this girl--" Jon turned to her. "What's your name?"
"Kristy, and I'm really sorry, just so you know. I... well, okay, I did it on purpose, but I didn't mean to scare you guys or get the police involved or anything," she said.
"Yeah, well," Brendon said, and Jon shushed him. Brendon glared.
"We're going to pretend that we know Kristy," Jon continued deliberately, ready to clamp his hand over Brendon's mouth and hold on, even if Brendon bit him. "And we're going to go in there and get coffee. We are going to bring some back to Spencer, and we are going to pretend like nothing strange is going on, is that clear, Brendon?"
Brendon glared at Jon, then at Kristy, then nodded.
Twenty minutes later, they were back in the hotel room. Jon was smart enough not to hand Spencer his coffee before the girl had revealed why she was there.
"What?" Spencer yelled. "Why the fuck would you do that?"
"Because he fucked me and told me to get out!" The girl yelled right back. Spencer looked startled, and Jon coughed. Maybe Ryan had deserved what he'd gotten, just a little. She took a deep breath and looked at Spencer long and hard. "Look, he deserved what he got. He was an asshole."
"So what about everything else? We called the police because our friend is missing," Spencer said.
"No he isn't," Kristy said. "He's right there." She jabbed a finger in the direction of the doll, lying propped up against the pillows on the bed. "And look, he deserved what he got, but I wasn't thinking. I didn't think about how it might affect you guys. And I certainly didn't think that the police would get involved."
"Well, they are," Brendon said nastily, glaring at the girl. Jon sighed.
"Tell us how to change him back," Jon said. "We won't press charges or anything. No one will believe us, besides, so. Just tell us how to change him back."
"Well," Kristy said. "It's a little complicated."
A little complicated actually turned out to involve a very large fire, a ridiculous chant, and Jon, Spencer, and Brendon being naked.
"No way," Brendon said. "No fucking way."
"Brendon," Spencer whined. This was Ryan! They were trying to turn Ryan back!
"Don't whine at me. I'm not dancing naked anywhere," Brendon said.
"That's funny," Jon said, "because you do it around the dressing room every night."
"You!" Brendon said, pointing at Jon. "You shut up. You're ruining my argument. Okay, I am not dancing naked anywhere that is in front of anyone but you guys."
"We should be so privelaged," Jon said, rolling his eyes.
"I knew I hated you, Jon Walker," Brendon said, poking his finger into Jon's breastbone. Jon made a face and grabbed at Brendon's finger.
Jon pressed his nose up against Brendon's cheek. "You love me," Jon said. Brendon made a face right back at him.
"Look, are you guys going to do this or not?" Kristy asked them. Spencer nodded his head. All he wanted to do was change Ryan back. Jon hesitated, but then he nodded as well.
Brendon was still shaking his head even as they dragged him out of the room, carrying the doll.
***
Ryan:
Will never tell his friends what he saw that night.
***
Kristy does the chanting and the boys do the dancing. It's ridiculous and embarrassing and Brendon swears that he is going to kill them all, even Ryan, if he ever comes back, in their sleep.
In the end, what actually changes Ryan from a little doll sitting beside the fire back into a real boy sitting naked beside the fire is Kristy throwing a small talisman into the blaze.
The naked dancing was just for her own personal amusement.
***
Ryan:
Saw Kristy throw the talisman into the fire.
He knows that that is what changed him back.
But the naked dancing was pretty funny, so he says nothing.
***
Ryan met Kristy's eyes, the fire too hot on his bare skin. "Where'd my clothes go," he asked her, his voice hoarse from a week of no use at all.
"Don't know," she tells him, and he glares at her, because those were his favourite pajama pants. "Don't do that to anyone ever again," she adds. "Because you never know what will happen to you."
She pets his hair and steps back as Spencer throws himself at Ryan, hugging him tightly. Ryan returns the hug before the idea that they're both naked settled in and he squeaks. "Clothes first!" he protests. Spencer pulls away and blushes, maybe, but maybe it's the heat from the fire and the fact that he's been naked for the past twenty minutes.
Jon and Brendon have the good grace to at least put on their pants before they touch Ryan at all. They all hug him, even though he's still trying to remember how to move and his whole body feels week. He vows no more one night stands after that.
Kristy disappears. But she helpfully leaves the blanket she'd been sitting on lying on the ground. It comes in handy when they realize that they have nothing for Ryan to wear.
***
It's the next morning before Ryan tears into Brendon for not wanting to help him out, for not being willing to do the stupid naked dance to change Ryan back.
"You know, I'd think that you'd be just as willing to do it as Spencer was," Ryan said, glaring at him from the bed, where he was showered and shaved and actually wearing clothes. He was glaring. Brendon had almost missed the glaring and the cranky little frown on Ryan's face. "Especially after all the things you said when I was a doll."
"You could hear that?" Brendon asked, his eyes going wide. "You knew?"
"You snuggled me. You cuddled a doll, Brendon, and you talked to me. You fucking missed me, you dick, and you weren't going to make an ass out of yourself to fix me?" Ryan said.
"Why are you so bitchy right now?" Brendon asked.
"Because I've been a doll a week and someone who's so fucking in ... fucking like or love or what the fuck ever is so worried about making an ass of himself that he won't do something to help change me back into a human being!"
Brendon blinked.
***
When Ryan was a doll:
Brendon was upset because Ryan was gone.
Brendon was upset because Ryan wasn't there to pick at.
But mostly, Brendon was upset because the little doll's face was permanently stuck in the sad little expression Brendon worked so hard to make disappear from Ryan's face all the time.
***
"Ryan," Brendon said. "It's not that. I'm not in love with you. I do love you. I just hated that your little doll face was stuck in that sad little expression."
"Is that all?" Ryan asked.
"Okay, maybe I'm in love with you a little," Brendon said. "But mostly I just want you to smile."
"Brendon," Ryan sighed, and rolled his eyes, leaning close to hug the other boy. "Just, next time you have to do something stupid to make me not a porcelain doll? Please just do it."
"Don't turn into a porcelain doll anymore so I don't have to," Brendon shot back. Ryan laughed, and let go of him.
"Fine, I won't," Ryan said, grinning.
He hugged Brendon once more, then got up to go and find Spencer.
Five minutes later, he came back, Spencer and Jon in tow. "Brendon! We're going for coffee. Come on," Ryan said, and the door swung shut.
They were almost to the elevator when Brendon caught up to them. Ryan looked up and grinned at him. "See, you love me," he said. "You do whatever I ask."
"You're right," Brendon said, grinning right back at him. "I love you. But you love me too, or you wouldn't order me around that way."
"Oh, you bet," Ryan said.
"See!" Brendon yelled, looking at Spencer. "I told you he loved me!"
Spencer rolled his eyes.
"Aww, group hug guys," Jon said, reaching out and throwing his arms around both Ryan and Brendon, squishing them together as he reached out to grab hold of Spencer. Ryan made an unintelligible noise of squished shock.
The lady that was already in the elevator when the door opened looked at them like they were some kind of four-headed monster when the doors opened and revealed Jon and Spencer squishing Ryan and Brendon between them.
Their work there was obviously done.