Parallel Parking and Pain
Yesterday/last night was AWESOME!!! I went to therapy and Jim was being a jackass and agreeing with my mother about goin back on meds. I guess he's right. It can't hurt right?! He's also talking about getting a medical extension for my classes. Ultimately, it would mean that I went to school for no reason this semester and I'm just gonna do all of the work all over. It might help my grades though. I'm debating whether or not I'm gonna decide to go on probation. Meh. I really don't give a shit about anything right now and I guess that's the problem. That's where the Prozac comes in and makes everything better. *sigh*
Pete and I found out that we have the same therapist. That was funny cuz Jim has to hear about some of the same things from each of us. Ha... he knew all about Andrew and I didn't even have to explain anything. So after Pete went to therapy last night, he came over. Ange and I had dinner together so we went to meet him and brought him back to the dorm. We played football IN my suite! That just proves how big my suite is. LOL All 11 thousand dollars of it. Pete called me a dyke and I was pretty pissed at him for what happened with him and PJ as it was so when he said that I ran down the hall into the living room jumped on top of him and put him in a chokehold so he couldn't breathe. I was gonna punch him, but I slowed my fist down just as it hit his face. Though he was joking, that was not the time to call me a dyke. Ange and I took him out to Mamoun's. He actually liked it. Odd.
Ange talked me into going to Gotham with her last night. It's Goth night on Wednesdays. I was like ummmm Emo Prep in a Goth club... RIIIIIIIIGHT! But I figured... a night with Ange is a night with Ange. I got there and she told me to parallel park. I've NEVER parallel parked EVER. She talked me through it though and I was fine and I was soooo proud of myself! LOL Then we went inside. I looked around and I was like well it's not so bad... it's just like all the people I used to hang out with in Windsor. I forgot about all that until last night. I met Ange's ex bf, a girl she's slept with, and another girl she's been into for soooo long. Immediately when we walked upstairs she had two girls kissing her and groping her. Was Kasia jealous? HELL FUCKING YES! Everytime Martha came around I made myself scarce cuz I wasn't about to stand there and watch Ange mak it with a girl. As we all know, I'm a VERY jealous person! She didn't seem too jealous when I was all up on the hottest girl in the club so that's good. Maybe. Ya... hottest girl in the club... OMG!! Blonde hair, light eyes, tan, gorgeous!!! She came up to me and was all like "Come dance with me!" Yay! So I got her number. Greatest part, she's from Naugatuck. What are Naugy girls notorious for? Being bi and easy!!! LOL *coughSarahandSivvycough*
So, Ange is a dominatrix. They have this thing called the rack there. It kinda looks like a crucifix. People go up there and get blindfolded, tied up, and whipped. I watched Martha do it for awhile and I was really intrigued. Then Ange did her thing. Watching her whip someone... WOW such a fucking turn on!!! She's told me that I'd be the perfect sub cuz I like pain. Hell, I inflict it on myself enough right?! So I told her I'd go up there... but only if she was the one whipping me. She wouldn't do it by herself though cuz she was worried she'd hurt me and she didn't wanna do that. So I told her that her and Martha should do it. Wow. That was an AMAZING experience. I got up there and got blindfolded and tied up. Then the whipping began and it wasn't so bad. Then it got really hard. It hurt, but OMFG I LOVED it!!! Especially when Ange's hands were ALL over me. Not such a bad thing. I don't know whether or not it felt good cuz I like pain, or cuz it was a pretty sexual situation with my love interest. I got down and was like wow that was orgasmically intense. LOL After I said, "Thanks Ange. That was my cutting for the night." LOL
Before I had gotten on the rack I told Ange, "It's okay. I trust you." I told her I trusted her!!! That for me is like the equivalent of saying I love you to someone. I was thinking about that all day and I realized... I NEVER said that to Faith. I didn't trust Faith. Hmmm trust... maybe that's what was missing in the relationship! LOL But that was pretty crazy. I spent the day with Ange today. I dragged her outta bed to go to class with me. We went for lunch and during lunch she said something along the lines of, "I like you as a friend. I'm worried that you'll take things too far." My heart totally sank at that moment and I got really quiet. But of course I shrugged it off in front of her and played it cool. In my mind though I was like wow I wanna cry. We went and met my mom after and I told her about the whipping. She was like WTF?! Kash if you wanna be beaten, come home and I'll beat the shit outta u! LOL It was funny. When I went to drop Ange off I decided we were gonna have a talk. We always have these hardcore emo talks. But it helps. She's still convinced that I'm trying to find a substitute for Faith. I'm not though and I don't know how to get that through her head. I REALLY like this girl. She said to me... "Don't get too close. I WILL hurt you." My response... "Dude. If I survived Faith... I think I can handle you." I know there's a chance she'll hurt me but I'm willing to take that chance. I'm hopeful.
Pete and I found out that we have the same therapist. That was funny cuz Jim has to hear about some of the same things from each of us. Ha... he knew all about Andrew and I didn't even have to explain anything. So after Pete went to therapy last night, he came over. Ange and I had dinner together so we went to meet him and brought him back to the dorm. We played football IN my suite! That just proves how big my suite is. LOL All 11 thousand dollars of it. Pete called me a dyke and I was pretty pissed at him for what happened with him and PJ as it was so when he said that I ran down the hall into the living room jumped on top of him and put him in a chokehold so he couldn't breathe. I was gonna punch him, but I slowed my fist down just as it hit his face. Though he was joking, that was not the time to call me a dyke. Ange and I took him out to Mamoun's. He actually liked it. Odd.
Ange talked me into going to Gotham with her last night. It's Goth night on Wednesdays. I was like ummmm Emo Prep in a Goth club... RIIIIIIIIGHT! But I figured... a night with Ange is a night with Ange. I got there and she told me to parallel park. I've NEVER parallel parked EVER. She talked me through it though and I was fine and I was soooo proud of myself! LOL Then we went inside. I looked around and I was like well it's not so bad... it's just like all the people I used to hang out with in Windsor. I forgot about all that until last night. I met Ange's ex bf, a girl she's slept with, and another girl she's been into for soooo long. Immediately when we walked upstairs she had two girls kissing her and groping her. Was Kasia jealous? HELL FUCKING YES! Everytime Martha came around I made myself scarce cuz I wasn't about to stand there and watch Ange mak it with a girl. As we all know, I'm a VERY jealous person! She didn't seem too jealous when I was all up on the hottest girl in the club so that's good. Maybe. Ya... hottest girl in the club... OMG!! Blonde hair, light eyes, tan, gorgeous!!! She came up to me and was all like "Come dance with me!" Yay! So I got her number. Greatest part, she's from Naugatuck. What are Naugy girls notorious for? Being bi and easy!!! LOL *coughSarahandSivvycough*
So, Ange is a dominatrix. They have this thing called the rack there. It kinda looks like a crucifix. People go up there and get blindfolded, tied up, and whipped. I watched Martha do it for awhile and I was really intrigued. Then Ange did her thing. Watching her whip someone... WOW such a fucking turn on!!! She's told me that I'd be the perfect sub cuz I like pain. Hell, I inflict it on myself enough right?! So I told her I'd go up there... but only if she was the one whipping me. She wouldn't do it by herself though cuz she was worried she'd hurt me and she didn't wanna do that. So I told her that her and Martha should do it. Wow. That was an AMAZING experience. I got up there and got blindfolded and tied up. Then the whipping began and it wasn't so bad. Then it got really hard. It hurt, but OMFG I LOVED it!!! Especially when Ange's hands were ALL over me. Not such a bad thing. I don't know whether or not it felt good cuz I like pain, or cuz it was a pretty sexual situation with my love interest. I got down and was like wow that was orgasmically intense. LOL After I said, "Thanks Ange. That was my cutting for the night." LOL
Before I had gotten on the rack I told Ange, "It's okay. I trust you." I told her I trusted her!!! That for me is like the equivalent of saying I love you to someone. I was thinking about that all day and I realized... I NEVER said that to Faith. I didn't trust Faith. Hmmm trust... maybe that's what was missing in the relationship! LOL But that was pretty crazy. I spent the day with Ange today. I dragged her outta bed to go to class with me. We went for lunch and during lunch she said something along the lines of, "I like you as a friend. I'm worried that you'll take things too far." My heart totally sank at that moment and I got really quiet. But of course I shrugged it off in front of her and played it cool. In my mind though I was like wow I wanna cry. We went and met my mom after and I told her about the whipping. She was like WTF?! Kash if you wanna be beaten, come home and I'll beat the shit outta u! LOL It was funny. When I went to drop Ange off I decided we were gonna have a talk. We always have these hardcore emo talks. But it helps. She's still convinced that I'm trying to find a substitute for Faith. I'm not though and I don't know how to get that through her head. I REALLY like this girl. She said to me... "Don't get too close. I WILL hurt you." My response... "Dude. If I survived Faith... I think I can handle you." I know there's a chance she'll hurt me but I'm willing to take that chance. I'm hopeful.