Anyone want to give me some feedback?
I am working on a novel. I think most of you know that because I talked about World Building June over on tumblr before. The novel is nominally a present for my kids, but I suspect they will graduate college before it is done. Anyway
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The hull breach disaster is really the event that kicks the story off. Until that happens, there's no real urgency about ending the Spero's travels. That seems like it should be in the setting, maybe in the first few pages of the story. So I'm basing the rest of my comments on idea #2.
Sending scouts out seems necessary, and losses during the mission seem not so much like a disaster but a predictable consequence of the decision. Perhaps a more specific disaster would help anchor this step 1?
As far as Skylar's agency, she presumably wants to save the Spero. So what if she decides to volunteer for the scot missions? Or if she's not supposed to be a pilot, but "borrows" a scout in order to try to help? By choosing to be a scout, her agency can start in step 1 or earlier.
At the end, it seems like you're introducing two planets, one where Skylar crashes and one where everyone can live. But what if they are the same planet? Skylar crashes on a planet that doesn't scan well, but while trying to repair her ship she discovers that it's livable after all. Or, Skylar finds the perfect planet but crashes before she can tell the Spero about it.
So this might be a possible structure:
(S) The G.Is.S. Spero has been traveling for thousands of years, but recent breakdowns mean its journey must end soon.
(1) Scouts are sent out, but many missions end in tragedy.
(2) Skylar pushes too far, and is forced to crash on a seemingly inhospitable planet.
(3) Skylar figures out how to make the planet livable but she loses contact with the Spero and can't tell them about it.
(C) Once her ship (or just her communications) are fixed, the Spero can be rescued.
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