Moving to a New City
A friend is moving for the first time, and I passed along some of my experiences from moving to different cities:
When you first get there, you'll be in flux no matter what. You'll be trying new things, meeting new people, seeing new places.
It'll be fun, it'll be difficult, it'll be lonely. It'll be AWESOME. You're gonna learn a lot about yourself - which is tough, but ends up being really good.
I've always found that I finally start to hit my groove at the end of the first summer in a place...late july, early august. That doesn't really count if I moved there in April, but moving there in January or before, it would count. I think the way it works is that you spend lots of time hanging out with different folks and feeling like you're not fitting in very well because you don't have that strong core group you've had in the past. People don't call and invite you places - at least not all the time - and you feel "off" or "dislocated."
The important thing to remember is that this is all normal.
Then what happens in the middle of the summer - even in places like California where there aren't real seasons (I suspect it's the longer days) - life has picked up to a more frantic pace with all the parties and bbq's and everything else AND all the energy you've put into meeting people along the way starts to come to fruition with people calling, or even if not that, you being on enough lists that you have lots of events to go to with people (and less time to think).
And you have lots of fun.
As an aside, I've found that I've learned the most about myself, and found out who some of my best friends are during these times of moving...it's probably a combination of having more time and being so "out of your element" that it shakes up your neurons - you are hyper aware of differences in reactions from people, you're hyper aware of your actions and trying to fit in - and this just makes me more self-aware and brings on more reflection.
After a while you find some of your old habits, you grow more comfortable, you end up in some old grooves, but you're not the same person: you're the amalgam of the old person and all the new experiences.
When you first get there, you'll be in flux no matter what. You'll be trying new things, meeting new people, seeing new places.
It'll be fun, it'll be difficult, it'll be lonely. It'll be AWESOME. You're gonna learn a lot about yourself - which is tough, but ends up being really good.
I've always found that I finally start to hit my groove at the end of the first summer in a place...late july, early august. That doesn't really count if I moved there in April, but moving there in January or before, it would count. I think the way it works is that you spend lots of time hanging out with different folks and feeling like you're not fitting in very well because you don't have that strong core group you've had in the past. People don't call and invite you places - at least not all the time - and you feel "off" or "dislocated."
The important thing to remember is that this is all normal.
Then what happens in the middle of the summer - even in places like California where there aren't real seasons (I suspect it's the longer days) - life has picked up to a more frantic pace with all the parties and bbq's and everything else AND all the energy you've put into meeting people along the way starts to come to fruition with people calling, or even if not that, you being on enough lists that you have lots of events to go to with people (and less time to think).
And you have lots of fun.
As an aside, I've found that I've learned the most about myself, and found out who some of my best friends are during these times of moving...it's probably a combination of having more time and being so "out of your element" that it shakes up your neurons - you are hyper aware of differences in reactions from people, you're hyper aware of your actions and trying to fit in - and this just makes me more self-aware and brings on more reflection.
After a while you find some of your old habits, you grow more comfortable, you end up in some old grooves, but you're not the same person: you're the amalgam of the old person and all the new experiences.