(no subject)
Color me completely unsurprised, but I am not in the mood to go to bed. It could have to do with the iced almond milk shaken espresso with two shots that I had as I commuted home from Surrey at 5:30 PM. It could have to do with voicing some of my sadness and again finding that there was no ground for compromise, or word of acknowledgement. I kind of want to sleep on the couch but don't know if ... oh hell. If I want to sleep on the couch I should do it because it's what I want to do. He won't like it, but the truth is I am choosing to do so mostly because of him. I just don't want to be in the bed with him. I don't even want to pretend to not be unhappy, and this is how to not give any indication that I am fine. I am disappointed. I am tired of being disappointed. I'm tired of thinking ahead to how to mitigate negativity that I know will arise as I continue to observe my religion and have my son also observe our religion.
On the other hand, why should that guy chase me out of my comfy warm bed? Why should I sleep somewhere else, because of him? I can sleep in my own damn bed and simply ignore him in it, which is easy enough in that he doesn't sleep with any of his body touching mine. He's made it clear that he can't sleep if we're cuddled. When he is cuddling me and I twich in pre-sleep, he releases me.
Approaching 1 AM, workday: tired now. Heading into bed. He can take the couch at his usual time/according to his preference. Fuck him; I find it so hard to believe he can't fall asleep if I'm snoring. What kind of single, stuck-up jerk can't ADJUST anything about himself for his chosen spouse whom he loves?
This entry was originally posted at https://avivasedai.dreamwidth.org/751356.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
On the other hand, why should that guy chase me out of my comfy warm bed? Why should I sleep somewhere else, because of him? I can sleep in my own damn bed and simply ignore him in it, which is easy enough in that he doesn't sleep with any of his body touching mine. He's made it clear that he can't sleep if we're cuddled. When he is cuddling me and I twich in pre-sleep, he releases me.
Approaching 1 AM, workday: tired now. Heading into bed. He can take the couch at his usual time/according to his preference. Fuck him; I find it so hard to believe he can't fall asleep if I'm snoring. What kind of single, stuck-up jerk can't ADJUST anything about himself for his chosen spouse whom he loves?
This entry was originally posted at https://avivasedai.dreamwidth.org/751356.html. Please comment there using OpenID.