Otto Farkas and Lou Segal; may their memories be for a blessing.
Otto Farkas died two days ago and was buried this afternoon. It is a beautiful day, not too hot today, with a breeze. His family was able to be at the grave-side, and the shul set up Zoom so others could attend. He was a Holocaust survivor, who found his brother and mother after being in the camps (not sure which one) and was able to come with them to Canada as a teenager. He became a jeweler, met his wife and had a family and moved from Montreal to here. His daughter and her husband have been his primary caretakers, with home health aides provided by a service that helps Holocaust survivors stay in their homes as they age. He was devoted to his family, to Judaism, the synagogue and JCC and other organizations here. He was a sweetheart, always smiling at me and cooing at Benito when I started carrying him into Shabbat services in his baby carseat. He was much beloved and will be missed.
Lou Segal passed away months ago, and was also well loved and connected to the synagogue through family and devotion. Lou came from South Africa, lived through Apartheid there and came here as a young man. He wrote a book a few years back, self-published through one of those companies that will take your photos and make a book for you, I think. He was a pharmacist and actually made something that got a patent and did well for him - it's been too long, I can't recall what it was. (Did I write about him already?)
Grandma Shirley is 92. She regularly "supports" at least 4 doctors, and her dentist has screwed up her teeth somehow. Mom, Abba, Tahl, Eliana, Gadi and Ada visited with her over her birthday (June 17th), and Tahl's impression is that she's gotten mean to everyone, either subtlely or cuttingly (in the case of Mom). Her house is not pleasant for visiting: the upstairs is hot and dusty, the fridge is a wreck (that is, the contents therein), and there is too much stuff.
She still attends shul, calling in over Zoom. She still supports and is active in Hadassah, and visits the Workman's Circle, which evidently is now called Workers Circle. She visits her sister in her assisted living facility, though she doesn't talk well of her. She loves her grandkids and great-grandkids; when I call her she often mentions how much she values the trip I took with Benito when he was 6 months old to visit her. She wants her family to be around her but doesn't want to accept that we can't all move closer to her, nor is she willing to move to any of us (Mom and Abba, or Tahl - those best able to be there for her at this stage of all of our lives).
I think about my father, and G'ma Shirley, and the stories we'll tell about them when they die. Interestingly, I do not think about my mother dying. It just isn't something I think about. Either it's unimaginable, or less inevitable than Abba or G'ma, or I think it'll be later because she's younger than both of them? It's not like she's in stellar health. Neither of my parents are really taking the best care of themselves these days. Maybe that's part of my current dedication to the gym? No, but it's a good thing to remember nonetheless. One's health is always going to come down to our own habits and behaviours, what we do for ourselves as well as what help we get along the way.
Where was I? Death and dying. It's been on my mind in a general way for a while now... wonder why that could be... I gave a thought to trying to visit the shiva house for Otto. On the one hand, it is a mitzvah to be with mourners and be part of that process, an ear for them if they need it. On the other, I didn't actually know him well at all (details above gleaned from the eulogies), nor do I know his kids (whom I do see at shul regularly when that was a thing) or grandkids. I can still bring food, and sit for a bit. For me, it falls under the "community" umbrella of connections and emotions and obligations. This can be/is part of being there for one's community.
This entry was originally posted at https://avivasedai.dreamwidth.org/746287.html. Please comment there using OpenID.
Lou Segal passed away months ago, and was also well loved and connected to the synagogue through family and devotion. Lou came from South Africa, lived through Apartheid there and came here as a young man. He wrote a book a few years back, self-published through one of those companies that will take your photos and make a book for you, I think. He was a pharmacist and actually made something that got a patent and did well for him - it's been too long, I can't recall what it was. (Did I write about him already?)
Grandma Shirley is 92. She regularly "supports" at least 4 doctors, and her dentist has screwed up her teeth somehow. Mom, Abba, Tahl, Eliana, Gadi and Ada visited with her over her birthday (June 17th), and Tahl's impression is that she's gotten mean to everyone, either subtlely or cuttingly (in the case of Mom). Her house is not pleasant for visiting: the upstairs is hot and dusty, the fridge is a wreck (that is, the contents therein), and there is too much stuff.
She still attends shul, calling in over Zoom. She still supports and is active in Hadassah, and visits the Workman's Circle, which evidently is now called Workers Circle. She visits her sister in her assisted living facility, though she doesn't talk well of her. She loves her grandkids and great-grandkids; when I call her she often mentions how much she values the trip I took with Benito when he was 6 months old to visit her. She wants her family to be around her but doesn't want to accept that we can't all move closer to her, nor is she willing to move to any of us (Mom and Abba, or Tahl - those best able to be there for her at this stage of all of our lives).
I think about my father, and G'ma Shirley, and the stories we'll tell about them when they die. Interestingly, I do not think about my mother dying. It just isn't something I think about. Either it's unimaginable, or less inevitable than Abba or G'ma, or I think it'll be later because she's younger than both of them? It's not like she's in stellar health. Neither of my parents are really taking the best care of themselves these days. Maybe that's part of my current dedication to the gym? No, but it's a good thing to remember nonetheless. One's health is always going to come down to our own habits and behaviours, what we do for ourselves as well as what help we get along the way.
Where was I? Death and dying. It's been on my mind in a general way for a while now... wonder why that could be... I gave a thought to trying to visit the shiva house for Otto. On the one hand, it is a mitzvah to be with mourners and be part of that process, an ear for them if they need it. On the other, I didn't actually know him well at all (details above gleaned from the eulogies), nor do I know his kids (whom I do see at shul regularly when that was a thing) or grandkids. I can still bring food, and sit for a bit. For me, it falls under the "community" umbrella of connections and emotions and obligations. This can be/is part of being there for one's community.
This entry was originally posted at https://avivasedai.dreamwidth.org/746287.html. Please comment there using OpenID.