Naruto fic: Just the Two of Us (If Only)
Title: Just the Two of Us (If Only)
Author: aviss
Pairing: Kakashi/Iruka
Rating: R
Genre: Humour
Summary: Iruka was convinced the universe was conspiring to cockblock them.
Word count: ~2.200
Author Notes: Based on this prompt on the kakairu_kink meme
Just the Two of Us (If Only)
There was one thing to be said for being Hatake Kakashi's lover, one either got over his embarrassment very quickly, or one didn't last long as Kakashi's lover.
"Hatake-san, the Hokage requests your presence immediately."
Iruka looked up from the bed and over Kakashi's shoulder to see the ANBU Turtle crouched on his windowsill, the porcelain mask managing to cover the blush that was clear on her voice. It wasn't the first time she had come to collect Kakashi at a bad time, but it was probably the first time she had been unfortunate enough to find herself facing Kakashi's ass. It definitely wasn't the first time for them to be caught in the act; Iruka knew it was the reason Dove had requested a change in assignment.
"I'll be there in five minutes," Kakashi said without looking back, his entire body tense.
Turtle nodded and disappeared. Kakashi groaned, leaning forward and pressing his forehead against Iruka's. "I'm sorry." Kakashi sounded really disappointed and frustrated, exactly how Iruka was feeling; very reluctantly Iruka unwound his legs from around Kakashi's waist and let his arms fall to his sides, letting him move away. "I'll try to come back--"
Iruka shook his head. "It's a mission. You know it's a mission."
Kakashi nodded miserably, not looking at Iruka while he put his uniform back on. "I'm sorry."
"Don't." Iruka knew perfectly well who he was in a relationship with, and what that entailed. It didn't mean he liked it, but it was the way things were. "You have to go, nothing we can do about it. I'll take care of it for now, and I'll plan for everything I'll do to you when you come back." He followed his words with actions, curling a hand around his cock and pulling slowly.
Kakashi shot him a look that was in equal parts aroused and annoyed, and crossed the space separating them in two long strides, leaning down to kiss Iruka. "You're cruel, and when I come back I'll make you pay for this," Kakashi husked against Iruka's lips before disappearing in a cloud of smoke.
"Promises, promises," Iruka said to the empty room. He closed his eyes and imagined Kakashi was still with him, whispering dirty things in his ear while they rutted on the bed, and brought himself to a quick and thoroughly unsatisfying orgasm.
…
Kakashi spent the entire week away, not that Iruka was counting the days. Well, he was, but he wasn't going to admit that to anyone. Not surprisingly, when he came back, it was straight to the hospital.
"Chakra depletion again," Iruka said reading the chart. In the couple of years they had been together, he had become incredibly proficient at reading medical charts and deciphering doctor's scrawl, a skill he had never wanted to have but that was now finding very useful. "Is that a standard requirement for your missions, Kakashi?"
One would think that landing in the hospital after every single mission because of chakra depletion, Kakashi would have learned by now how to manage his resources to avoid it.
"They were tough," Kakashi explained, his voice low and tinged with exhaustion. "I had to use the Sharingan."
He always had to use the Sharingan, and his enemies were always tough. If they weren't, they would have sent someone who wasn't Hatake Kakashi to deal with them. That wasn't the point.
"Nevermind," Iruka said, sitting down on the uncomfortable chair they put for visitors. To ensure that visitors didn't want to stay, he'd bet, that thing was murder for his buttocks and back. "You're back, and that's all that matters."
Kakashi smiled tiredly at him and closed his eyes to go back to sleep. Iruka grabbed a book from his bag and started reading. Five minutes later he lifted his eyes from the page to find Kakashi staring intently at him. "Kakashi?"
"I can't sleep," Kakashi whispered, the words loaded with weariness and frustration.
"You need to."
"Read to me," he requested, and Iruka readily obliged. Five minutes later Kakashi was still staring owlishly at him.
"It's not working," Iruka said, closing the book and looking at Kakashi who was staring back with an expression that he had no problem interpreting. "No."
"But I need to sleep, and I might be able if I'm relaxed enough," Kakashi said, and it was a wonder how even when he barely had any energy to speak, he could still sound perverted.
"We're in the hospital, and you have no strength to spare for sex," Iruka protested, but he was standing up from the chair and heading to the bed, and it was clear in Kakashi's expression he knew he had won.
"I won't move much, and I promise not to make any noise."
Iruka climbed into the bed with him, careful not to jostle him too much and not to touch his injuries. He kissed Kakashi, enjoying the taste and feel of him mouth, and feeling so damned grateful to have him there with him. Iruka could feel a tension he didn't know he was carrying being released at the feel of Kakashi under him, the reality of his warmth under Iruka's.
He moved under Kakashi's sheet, scooting down and pressing his lips against Kakashi's torso and abdomen, moving down until he was--
"It's time for your check up, brat," Tsunade's voice boomed inside the room and Iruka cringed in anticipation of what was going to happen. He could picture Tsunade looking at the chart in her hands, and any second now she was going to look up and see a clearly Iruka-shaped bulge in the bed. He counted in his mind, waiting for the scream or shout or whatever it was about to happen. He could feel Kakashi shaking against him, and he didn't know if it was out of embarrassment or laughter. When he reached ten, Iruka noticed Tsunade had not said anything. It wasn't possible that she hadn't realized. It just wasn't possible. By fifteen his curiosity got the better of him and he moved up to look.
Tsunade was still inside the room, staring at Kakashi with an arched eyebrow, her expression clearly not impressed. Kakashi was looking at her, a reddish tinge on his partially covered face, and he was laughing.
"I knew the brat would be a bad influence on you, Sensei," Tsunade finally said, her voice loaded with resignation and a bit of amusement. "That's not the kind of bed rest I prescribed."
And if it was possible to die of shame, Iruka would do it right about now. "Um--" he began, before deciding that discretion was the better part of courage in this case. Iruka shot Kakashi an irritated look and teleported out the room.
…
Kakashi was released from the hospital a couple of days later, and that was fine. That was perfect. Life in their household resumed something like normality, except Iruka was convinced the universe was conspiring to cockblock them.
There could be no other explanation for it. The first night back home, when they should have been celebrating their reunion in the usual way, Naruto had stopped over for one of his visits. And yes, Iruka loved the brat, and their house was always open to him, but it was just impossible to get him to go to sleep. Kakashi was snoring before Naruto had finished recounting his latest adventure, and Iruka resigned himself to another night without sex.
Then was Gai's turn with one of his challenges. Kakashi refused to say what it had been about, but he had been unable to move for the entire day. Iruka's only consolation was that Tsunade had ripped them both a new one for that stunt, though it didn't make his frustration go away.
Especially not when Turtle appeared the next day and took Kakashi with her, off on a mission for two days again. At least this time they still had their clothes on when she came, though Iruka would have rather they had been caught re-dressing instead of undressing for a change.
The way things were going Iruka needed to get really creative to finally get some.
…
"I didn't know you had an outdoor kink, sensei," Kakashi's voice was amused and bit breathless, his chest heaving lightly as Iruka pressed butterfly kisses on the skin he was uncovering, his fingers working on Kakashi's clothes intently to reveal more and more flesh.
"I don't," he admitted, finally removing Kakashi's top and closing his mouth around a tempting nipple. Kakashi arched under his ministrations, a breathy moan escaping his lips. "But it's been three weeks," Iruka continued, lifting his head to look at Kakashi. He moved up and licked Kakashi's half open lips as a reward for his dazed expression, kissing him deeply for a minute before resuming his previous attack on Kakashi's body. "And every time we start something we are interrupted. I'm almost sure Tsunade is spying on us and sending Turtle as things get interesting."
The thing was, Iruka was frustrated enough he'd started to believe it. It was the reason they were there, in a tiny cave right outside Konoha. It was a cave Iruka discovered when he was a kid, had used to store his supplies for some of his pranks. He had been surprised to find some of his things were still there. So far as he knew, nobody else was aware of its existence.
It was perfect for what they wanted. There was no way they were interrupted there.
Kakashi laughed, pulling at Iruka's head to his and leaning forward for a kiss. "Oh, I'm not complaining, Iruka," he said against his mouth, moving his hands to start on Iruka's clothes. "I'm also tired of being interrupted."
They pulled the remainder of their clothes off hurriedly, almost desperately, their mouths locked as if glued together. They were finally, finally, skin against skin, Iruka's hands full of Kakashi's ass and pressing them even closer together. And Iruka didn't mind if they came like this now, just rubbing against each other, so long as they fucking came. And now if at all possible. There would always be time for a long, deep fuck in round two, and he just needed to--
"It's here, I swear!" A childish voice shouted from the cave's entrance and Iruka froze, his head snapping up in horror at the sound. Kakashi was staring at him with the same startled expression, his eyes impossibly large on his face. It couldn't be happening. "Come on, there are explosive tags and other things here. I found it this morning!"
There were other voices approaching, and Iruka could swear he recognized some of them from the Academy. All thoughts of sex promptly left his mind, his blood turning to ice. They had just a couple of seconds before the kids appeared, and Iruka didn't want to imagine their reaction.
"This is not happening," Kakashi said in a whisper, his hands moving quickly through some signs. A second later they were back inside their apartment, still naked. And, as if their sudden presence inside the house had summoned her, Turtle appeared a minute later.
…
"This has to be the worst idea you've had in your life," Iruka protested half heartedly.
"No, it's a good idea. Honestly," Kakashi insisted, already moving through the necessary signs. Iruka did the same, still not convinced but frustrated enough to be willing to try. "They won't come looking for us if we are outside, walking around the village." He pointed with his head to the clones, already waiting by the door.
Iruka nodded to his clone and watched as they left the house. He turned to Kakashi then. "With our luck, there will be a village wide attack and our clones will be the first ones to fall."
Kakashi laughed, already getting rid of his clothes as he closed the distance between them. "Don't be pessimistic, Sensei," he said gathering Iruka into his arms and pressing their mouths together. "Now, where were we?"
…
Iruka sighed contentedly, snuggling closer to Kakashi's body. He was feeling completely relaxed for the first time in the past month, and the way Kakashi was playing absently with his hair told him the feeling was mutual.
Maybe it hadn't been that bad of an idea using the clones.
Maybe they could do it again some other time.
He felt Kakashi tense beside him an instant before his own body received the information dump that marked the death of a clone, his eyes snapping open in the darkened room. He turned to Kakashi, who was looking at him with an expression of complete disbelief.
There had not been an attack, and that at least was something to be grateful. And yet, their clones had managed to get themselves killed by, of all things, a freakish accident involving a class of pre-genin, an explosive tag and a cake. Oh, and Naruto.
Iruka should have seen it coming.
"Should we get dressed for Turtle?" Iruka asked resigned.
Kakashi nodded his head, sighing. "Yeah, I kind of like her. She's lasted more than Dove."
The exchanged a look and Iruka couldn't help but laugh. How this was his life was anyone's guess, but as long as it had Kakashi in it, he wasn't going to complain. Too much.
And the next time, they were using two clones each.
…
Author: aviss
Pairing: Kakashi/Iruka
Rating: R
Genre: Humour
Summary: Iruka was convinced the universe was conspiring to cockblock them.
Word count: ~2.200
Author Notes: Based on this prompt on the kakairu_kink meme
Just the Two of Us (If Only)
There was one thing to be said for being Hatake Kakashi's lover, one either got over his embarrassment very quickly, or one didn't last long as Kakashi's lover.
"Hatake-san, the Hokage requests your presence immediately."
Iruka looked up from the bed and over Kakashi's shoulder to see the ANBU Turtle crouched on his windowsill, the porcelain mask managing to cover the blush that was clear on her voice. It wasn't the first time she had come to collect Kakashi at a bad time, but it was probably the first time she had been unfortunate enough to find herself facing Kakashi's ass. It definitely wasn't the first time for them to be caught in the act; Iruka knew it was the reason Dove had requested a change in assignment.
"I'll be there in five minutes," Kakashi said without looking back, his entire body tense.
Turtle nodded and disappeared. Kakashi groaned, leaning forward and pressing his forehead against Iruka's. "I'm sorry." Kakashi sounded really disappointed and frustrated, exactly how Iruka was feeling; very reluctantly Iruka unwound his legs from around Kakashi's waist and let his arms fall to his sides, letting him move away. "I'll try to come back--"
Iruka shook his head. "It's a mission. You know it's a mission."
Kakashi nodded miserably, not looking at Iruka while he put his uniform back on. "I'm sorry."
"Don't." Iruka knew perfectly well who he was in a relationship with, and what that entailed. It didn't mean he liked it, but it was the way things were. "You have to go, nothing we can do about it. I'll take care of it for now, and I'll plan for everything I'll do to you when you come back." He followed his words with actions, curling a hand around his cock and pulling slowly.
Kakashi shot him a look that was in equal parts aroused and annoyed, and crossed the space separating them in two long strides, leaning down to kiss Iruka. "You're cruel, and when I come back I'll make you pay for this," Kakashi husked against Iruka's lips before disappearing in a cloud of smoke.
"Promises, promises," Iruka said to the empty room. He closed his eyes and imagined Kakashi was still with him, whispering dirty things in his ear while they rutted on the bed, and brought himself to a quick and thoroughly unsatisfying orgasm.
…
Kakashi spent the entire week away, not that Iruka was counting the days. Well, he was, but he wasn't going to admit that to anyone. Not surprisingly, when he came back, it was straight to the hospital.
"Chakra depletion again," Iruka said reading the chart. In the couple of years they had been together, he had become incredibly proficient at reading medical charts and deciphering doctor's scrawl, a skill he had never wanted to have but that was now finding very useful. "Is that a standard requirement for your missions, Kakashi?"
One would think that landing in the hospital after every single mission because of chakra depletion, Kakashi would have learned by now how to manage his resources to avoid it.
"They were tough," Kakashi explained, his voice low and tinged with exhaustion. "I had to use the Sharingan."
He always had to use the Sharingan, and his enemies were always tough. If they weren't, they would have sent someone who wasn't Hatake Kakashi to deal with them. That wasn't the point.
"Nevermind," Iruka said, sitting down on the uncomfortable chair they put for visitors. To ensure that visitors didn't want to stay, he'd bet, that thing was murder for his buttocks and back. "You're back, and that's all that matters."
Kakashi smiled tiredly at him and closed his eyes to go back to sleep. Iruka grabbed a book from his bag and started reading. Five minutes later he lifted his eyes from the page to find Kakashi staring intently at him. "Kakashi?"
"I can't sleep," Kakashi whispered, the words loaded with weariness and frustration.
"You need to."
"Read to me," he requested, and Iruka readily obliged. Five minutes later Kakashi was still staring owlishly at him.
"It's not working," Iruka said, closing the book and looking at Kakashi who was staring back with an expression that he had no problem interpreting. "No."
"But I need to sleep, and I might be able if I'm relaxed enough," Kakashi said, and it was a wonder how even when he barely had any energy to speak, he could still sound perverted.
"We're in the hospital, and you have no strength to spare for sex," Iruka protested, but he was standing up from the chair and heading to the bed, and it was clear in Kakashi's expression he knew he had won.
"I won't move much, and I promise not to make any noise."
Iruka climbed into the bed with him, careful not to jostle him too much and not to touch his injuries. He kissed Kakashi, enjoying the taste and feel of him mouth, and feeling so damned grateful to have him there with him. Iruka could feel a tension he didn't know he was carrying being released at the feel of Kakashi under him, the reality of his warmth under Iruka's.
He moved under Kakashi's sheet, scooting down and pressing his lips against Kakashi's torso and abdomen, moving down until he was--
"It's time for your check up, brat," Tsunade's voice boomed inside the room and Iruka cringed in anticipation of what was going to happen. He could picture Tsunade looking at the chart in her hands, and any second now she was going to look up and see a clearly Iruka-shaped bulge in the bed. He counted in his mind, waiting for the scream or shout or whatever it was about to happen. He could feel Kakashi shaking against him, and he didn't know if it was out of embarrassment or laughter. When he reached ten, Iruka noticed Tsunade had not said anything. It wasn't possible that she hadn't realized. It just wasn't possible. By fifteen his curiosity got the better of him and he moved up to look.
Tsunade was still inside the room, staring at Kakashi with an arched eyebrow, her expression clearly not impressed. Kakashi was looking at her, a reddish tinge on his partially covered face, and he was laughing.
"I knew the brat would be a bad influence on you, Sensei," Tsunade finally said, her voice loaded with resignation and a bit of amusement. "That's not the kind of bed rest I prescribed."
And if it was possible to die of shame, Iruka would do it right about now. "Um--" he began, before deciding that discretion was the better part of courage in this case. Iruka shot Kakashi an irritated look and teleported out the room.
…
Kakashi was released from the hospital a couple of days later, and that was fine. That was perfect. Life in their household resumed something like normality, except Iruka was convinced the universe was conspiring to cockblock them.
There could be no other explanation for it. The first night back home, when they should have been celebrating their reunion in the usual way, Naruto had stopped over for one of his visits. And yes, Iruka loved the brat, and their house was always open to him, but it was just impossible to get him to go to sleep. Kakashi was snoring before Naruto had finished recounting his latest adventure, and Iruka resigned himself to another night without sex.
Then was Gai's turn with one of his challenges. Kakashi refused to say what it had been about, but he had been unable to move for the entire day. Iruka's only consolation was that Tsunade had ripped them both a new one for that stunt, though it didn't make his frustration go away.
Especially not when Turtle appeared the next day and took Kakashi with her, off on a mission for two days again. At least this time they still had their clothes on when she came, though Iruka would have rather they had been caught re-dressing instead of undressing for a change.
The way things were going Iruka needed to get really creative to finally get some.
…
"I didn't know you had an outdoor kink, sensei," Kakashi's voice was amused and bit breathless, his chest heaving lightly as Iruka pressed butterfly kisses on the skin he was uncovering, his fingers working on Kakashi's clothes intently to reveal more and more flesh.
"I don't," he admitted, finally removing Kakashi's top and closing his mouth around a tempting nipple. Kakashi arched under his ministrations, a breathy moan escaping his lips. "But it's been three weeks," Iruka continued, lifting his head to look at Kakashi. He moved up and licked Kakashi's half open lips as a reward for his dazed expression, kissing him deeply for a minute before resuming his previous attack on Kakashi's body. "And every time we start something we are interrupted. I'm almost sure Tsunade is spying on us and sending Turtle as things get interesting."
The thing was, Iruka was frustrated enough he'd started to believe it. It was the reason they were there, in a tiny cave right outside Konoha. It was a cave Iruka discovered when he was a kid, had used to store his supplies for some of his pranks. He had been surprised to find some of his things were still there. So far as he knew, nobody else was aware of its existence.
It was perfect for what they wanted. There was no way they were interrupted there.
Kakashi laughed, pulling at Iruka's head to his and leaning forward for a kiss. "Oh, I'm not complaining, Iruka," he said against his mouth, moving his hands to start on Iruka's clothes. "I'm also tired of being interrupted."
They pulled the remainder of their clothes off hurriedly, almost desperately, their mouths locked as if glued together. They were finally, finally, skin against skin, Iruka's hands full of Kakashi's ass and pressing them even closer together. And Iruka didn't mind if they came like this now, just rubbing against each other, so long as they fucking came. And now if at all possible. There would always be time for a long, deep fuck in round two, and he just needed to--
"It's here, I swear!" A childish voice shouted from the cave's entrance and Iruka froze, his head snapping up in horror at the sound. Kakashi was staring at him with the same startled expression, his eyes impossibly large on his face. It couldn't be happening. "Come on, there are explosive tags and other things here. I found it this morning!"
There were other voices approaching, and Iruka could swear he recognized some of them from the Academy. All thoughts of sex promptly left his mind, his blood turning to ice. They had just a couple of seconds before the kids appeared, and Iruka didn't want to imagine their reaction.
"This is not happening," Kakashi said in a whisper, his hands moving quickly through some signs. A second later they were back inside their apartment, still naked. And, as if their sudden presence inside the house had summoned her, Turtle appeared a minute later.
…
"This has to be the worst idea you've had in your life," Iruka protested half heartedly.
"No, it's a good idea. Honestly," Kakashi insisted, already moving through the necessary signs. Iruka did the same, still not convinced but frustrated enough to be willing to try. "They won't come looking for us if we are outside, walking around the village." He pointed with his head to the clones, already waiting by the door.
Iruka nodded to his clone and watched as they left the house. He turned to Kakashi then. "With our luck, there will be a village wide attack and our clones will be the first ones to fall."
Kakashi laughed, already getting rid of his clothes as he closed the distance between them. "Don't be pessimistic, Sensei," he said gathering Iruka into his arms and pressing their mouths together. "Now, where were we?"
…
Iruka sighed contentedly, snuggling closer to Kakashi's body. He was feeling completely relaxed for the first time in the past month, and the way Kakashi was playing absently with his hair told him the feeling was mutual.
Maybe it hadn't been that bad of an idea using the clones.
Maybe they could do it again some other time.
He felt Kakashi tense beside him an instant before his own body received the information dump that marked the death of a clone, his eyes snapping open in the darkened room. He turned to Kakashi, who was looking at him with an expression of complete disbelief.
There had not been an attack, and that at least was something to be grateful. And yet, their clones had managed to get themselves killed by, of all things, a freakish accident involving a class of pre-genin, an explosive tag and a cake. Oh, and Naruto.
Iruka should have seen it coming.
"Should we get dressed for Turtle?" Iruka asked resigned.
Kakashi nodded his head, sighing. "Yeah, I kind of like her. She's lasted more than Dove."
The exchanged a look and Iruka couldn't help but laugh. How this was his life was anyone's guess, but as long as it had Kakashi in it, he wasn't going to complain. Too much.
And the next time, they were using two clones each.
…