Naruto fic: The hidden room
Title: The Hidden Room
Pairing: Kakashi/Iruka
Rating: PG
Genre: Angst
Word count: ~500
Summary: Kakashi knows there is a part of him utterly damaged and frail
Author Notes: Wirtten for this square in the Bingo Round at the kakairu_fest
The Hidden Room
Kakashi knows there is a part of him utterly damaged and frail, and that part of him is larger than with most of people. He knows and he's learned how to live with it.
He compares it to a room at the back of the house, full of things people don't show to their guests. In his case the room is not only at the back, he also keeps it padlocked and hidden, avoiding even the smallest mention of its existence.
It wasn't a problem before, when the person he was hiding it from was mostly himself.
Now there's someone demanding entrance to that place and Kakashi's running out of excuses. Well, not actually demanding, Iruka would never do something like that. He wouldn't even request it.
But Kakashi can tell; every time their conversation skirts the edge of one of the things hidden in that room and he clams up Iruka won't push, won't ask questions, won't even acknowledge the awkward pause in the conversation. But his smile will dim a bit, his eyes will fill with sadness and little by little he will pull away from Kakashi.
He has seen it happening before, in other relationships, and wants to stop it this time.
He just doesn't know how.
Iruka has showed him that concealed part of himself, sharing events and tragedies in his past with Kakashi and waiting with unending patience for that trust to be reciprocated.
But his past, his secrets, painful as they might be, are nothing compared with Kakashi's. And there is a part of him that knows that the moment the door is opened it won't be easy to close again. And chances are Iruka would run away screaming at what's on the other side and consider himself fortunate to have escaped.
So Kakashi keeps the door closed, padlocked and the key close to his heart, and counts the days till Iruka finally pulls away to never come back.
He stops counting when they get to four figures.
…
Iruka knows there is something broken inside Kakashi. They are shinobi, all of them have a hidden place inside where they store the shattered shards of their painful past.
He has one as well, and he learned long ago he had no use for it.
So he shares everything he is with Kakashi, edging around the topic of Kakashi's own past to avoid painful and awkward subjects. Iruka knows Kakashi has more trauma and unspeakable things hidden than most shinobi, so he gives him the space he needs when things get to that point.
But he will not leave.
Iruka knows more about Kakashi that probably Kakashi himself, he already knew Kakashi was broken when they began their relationship.
And he just knows Kakashi is waiting for Iruka to get tired of him and leave.
But if Iruka has any say on it, he will be waiting for a very long time.
Forever, probably.
...
Pairing: Kakashi/Iruka
Rating: PG
Genre: Angst
Word count: ~500
Summary: Kakashi knows there is a part of him utterly damaged and frail
Author Notes: Wirtten for this square in the Bingo Round at the kakairu_fest
The Hidden Room
Kakashi knows there is a part of him utterly damaged and frail, and that part of him is larger than with most of people. He knows and he's learned how to live with it.
He compares it to a room at the back of the house, full of things people don't show to their guests. In his case the room is not only at the back, he also keeps it padlocked and hidden, avoiding even the smallest mention of its existence.
It wasn't a problem before, when the person he was hiding it from was mostly himself.
Now there's someone demanding entrance to that place and Kakashi's running out of excuses. Well, not actually demanding, Iruka would never do something like that. He wouldn't even request it.
But Kakashi can tell; every time their conversation skirts the edge of one of the things hidden in that room and he clams up Iruka won't push, won't ask questions, won't even acknowledge the awkward pause in the conversation. But his smile will dim a bit, his eyes will fill with sadness and little by little he will pull away from Kakashi.
He has seen it happening before, in other relationships, and wants to stop it this time.
He just doesn't know how.
Iruka has showed him that concealed part of himself, sharing events and tragedies in his past with Kakashi and waiting with unending patience for that trust to be reciprocated.
But his past, his secrets, painful as they might be, are nothing compared with Kakashi's. And there is a part of him that knows that the moment the door is opened it won't be easy to close again. And chances are Iruka would run away screaming at what's on the other side and consider himself fortunate to have escaped.
So Kakashi keeps the door closed, padlocked and the key close to his heart, and counts the days till Iruka finally pulls away to never come back.
He stops counting when they get to four figures.
…
Iruka knows there is something broken inside Kakashi. They are shinobi, all of them have a hidden place inside where they store the shattered shards of their painful past.
He has one as well, and he learned long ago he had no use for it.
So he shares everything he is with Kakashi, edging around the topic of Kakashi's own past to avoid painful and awkward subjects. Iruka knows Kakashi has more trauma and unspeakable things hidden than most shinobi, so he gives him the space he needs when things get to that point.
But he will not leave.
Iruka knows more about Kakashi that probably Kakashi himself, he already knew Kakashi was broken when they began their relationship.
And he just knows Kakashi is waiting for Iruka to get tired of him and leave.
But if Iruka has any say on it, he will be waiting for a very long time.
Forever, probably.
...