OP fic: Once More with Feeling - Day 5
Title: Once more with feeling - Day 5
Author: aviss
Pairing: Zoro/+Sanji
Rating: R
Genre: Drama, Angst, Horror.
Warning: Violence, character deaths (only not)
Disclaimer: So disclaimed.
Summary: Sanji is given a second chance to set things right. And a third. And a fourth…
Word Count: ~3.100 this part
Day 1
Day 2
Day 3
Day 4
Day 5
"Oi Cook, you fell asleep in the galley again and it's your watch now," Zoro said his voice a gruff whisper. He looked half asleep and Sanji stifled a yawn.
"Go to sleep you dumbass, I'm awake," he said in a low whisper, despair and exhaustion clear in his voice. He couldn't do it anymore, couldn't stand the sight of his nakama dying around him for another day. The old woman was right, he wasn't strong enough.
Zoro might have felt something strange in his voice because he didn't move, didn't leave the galley.
"Are you sick, Cook?" Zoro asked, frowning.
Yes, I am. I am sick and tired of seeing you die every single night and being too fucking useless to stop it, Sanji was so tempted to say that, but he couldn't muster the energy for it. He just shrugged. "Go away Zoro, I'm fine," he said in the same defeated tone. Zoro looked like he wanted to protest, he opened his mouth and whatever it was he was going to say was cut off by a gigantic yawn. "Just go, I'll be in the Crow's Nest in a minute," Sanji said forestalling his protest and closing his eyes again.
The silence in the galley was thick and filled with unspoken questions, Zoro still staring at Sanji, not leaving.
It didn't take long for it to annoy the hell out of Sanji.
He opened his eyes and glared at the silent marimo, the anger he was feeling disproportionate for the cause, but Sanji was too tired and hurt to care. He needed a good night sleep, or better make it a week. And he needed to know his friends would be there when he woke up.
"Get the fuck out of here, Marimo," he snapped standing up and Zoro's worried frown melted into a scowl, his sleepiness vanishing in the wake of an expression Sanji was more used to: anger.
"What is your problem, Cook?" Zoro growled taking a step toward him. "It's your fucking watch now, you want to ditch it?"
Sanji fished inside his jacket pocket for a cigarette, lighting it and blowing the smoke on Zoro's face, gearing out for a fight. That was what he really needed to make him feel better, a fight he could win.
That mere thought made his anger deflate.
It wasn't Zoro the one he wanted to fight, the one he needed to defeat. And taking it out on him wasn't going to change the outcome of the night's events.
Suddenly Sanji felt very, very tired again. Zoro was staring at him with narrowed eyes, hands on the hilt of his swords and his entire posture radiating menace, but he wasn't attacking, he was merely responding to Sanji's provocation.
He shook his head and averted his eyes, turning to the door. "I'm going now, you go to sleep idiot. If we fight now and you get a single scratch on you Chopper will have my hide for it," he said before leaving.
He heard Zoro say something which sounded suspiciously like bastard cook but decided it was wisest to just ignore it.
When he got to the Crow's Nest he rested with his back against the window, not wanting to see the crimson moon reflected in the black waters. Somehow it made him think of blood pooling on the Sunny, like it had been the night before, and he was sure he wouldn't stand it.
He needed to clear his head before facing another hellish day.
His mind had other ideas, however. It kept going back to the previous night and his conversation with the old woman.
He hadn't been thinking clearly when he tried to attack her, but it was too much to ask of him that he would keep his head after suffering everyone's death day after day. He was strong but he wasn't a monster. Nobody would be able to stand that for long.
And Death--she had admitted they wouldn't be able to defeat those things. If that was true, why the fuck she kept making Sanji relive it again and again? Did she expect him to say "I give up, take us all"?
If she did she was very close to getting what she wanted.
But it couldn't be it, it just couldn't. She had been the one who gave him a chance, why give him hope only to make him suffer a fate worse than death?
Just thinking about it was making Sanji get angry again, and this time he didn't even try to talk himself out of it.
Anger was a thousand times better than hopelessness in his book.
…
By the time Robin arrived to take over the watch Sanji had worked himself into a state of rightful fury and was relishing the feeling. He had been so immersed in pain and despair for the past five days it was a welcomed change.
He nursed the feeling all the way to breakfast: he was angry with the old woman for putting him through that shit, he was furious with his nakama for being oblivious to his suffering and dying on him again and again, but mostly he was livid with himself for being so fucking weak and feeling that way.
It was vicious circle he didn't know how to break, so he got more and more angry instead.
He worked on breakfast with short and jerky movements which would have made Zeff kick the shit out of him had he known, his knives hitting the cutting board with so much force Sanji knew they had to be leaving permanent marks. He didn't care; he had never felt so alone in his entire life and needed to take it out on something.
In his mind he kept calling his nakama every name in the book, the rational part of his brain cringing with shame at the unfairness of it.
Luffy was a big oaf of a Captain who couldn't swim or navigate, had about the same common sense as a spoon and was always chasing after stupid adventures and getting them killed.
Usopp was a big coward with an even bigger mouth, completely useless in a fight and so unreliable the only thing he was good for was to be the ship's clown.
Chopper should've been eaten a long time ago for all the good he did in a fight.
Franky was a perverted bastard whose only redeeming point was his skill at making weapons, weapons which had not saved anyone so he might as well have stayed in Water 7.
Brook was dead and still needed rescuing again and again. One couldn't get more useless than that.
And Zoro. Zoro was the worst of the lot, all brawn and no brain. The fucking marimo was only good for bleeding on things and making a doctor a necessity on the ship. For all his strength he died like the rest of them. And he annoyed Sanji like no one else ever did.
He spared the girls, knowing even in his state that he would never forgive himself if he insulted them even in the privacy of his own head. He had not sunk so low yet but he didn't make any promises for the next day.
He was almost shaking with fury and self-loathing when the door opened and Robin entered the kitchen and he made a conscious effort to calm himself. She stopped barely inside, staring at Sanji with a thoughtful expression.
"Are you all right, Cook-san?" Robin asked after a long searching look.
Sanji took a breath and clenched his jaw, turning back to the stove to finish composing himself. He poured a mug of steaming coffee and gave it to Robin with a small smile.
"Yes Robin-chan, just tired," he said. The smile must have looked as forced and brittle as it felt on his face but Robin said nothing, she only nodded and took her usual sit.
She didn't say anything else, just sat in silence sipping her coffee and watching Sanji with a slight frown on her pretty face.
"Sanjiiiiiii, I'm starving!" Luffy's usual shout accompanied the crew's arrival for breakfast and Sanji had a moment of intense dislike for them, so happy and oblivious. He glared at his nakama with narrowed eyes for a second and then caught Robin's surprised look and turned to the plates, taking deep breaths to control his emotions.
Fuck, he was totally losing it.
His mood didn't take long to spread to the rest of them, breakfast quickly turning into a tense and silent affair, all eyes fixed on him. The only person acting normally was Luffy, cramming his mouth with as much food as he could and munching away happily.
"What's wrong with you, shitty-cook?" Zoro's voice broke the uncomfortable silence, "You've been glaring at us all the time."
Sanji turned to respond and saw Robin putting a hand on the marimo's arm and shake her head.
"Cook-san is tired, Zoro," she said with a small smile, "He had watch before so he probably just needs to rest."
Zoro looked like he wanted to say something else and Sanji silently dared him to. He was itching for a good fight; he had been since he woke up.
Zoro stared at him a second longer and then turned to Robin with a little nod before leaving the kitchen. The rest of the crew took it as their signal to leave as well, only Robin remaining sitting in her place, eyes fixed on Sanji.
"Cook-san," she said slowly, as if talking to a dangerous and frightened animal, "is something bothering you? You seem tense."
He really wanted to hit something, rage at the world and scream to be left the fuck alone, but this was Robin and he couldn't do something like that in her presence. Sanji sighed and leaned against the counter tiredly. "I might be coming down with something, Robin-chan," he lied not looking at her. He knew she wasn't going to buy it, but he also knew she wasn't going to press him for the truth.
"You do look pale and tired," she said standing up and walking up to him, putting her hand against his forehead. Normally such an expression of concern form one of the girls would have turned him into a gooey mass of happy cook, today it didn't muster more than a thrill of grateful excitement. "Maybe you should have Chopper give you a check up and take a nap before lunch."
Sanji smiled and this time it felt real, "If only I could," he said wistfully, "but there is no time."
Robin looked at him puzzled for second and then blinked surprised when Franky's shout called everyone outside.
"Time for the show to begin," Sanji muttered under his breath and follower her to the deck to face the storm.
…
Sanji retreated to the kitchen right after the storm to wait for Zoro; most of the calmness he got in the morning during his conversation with Robin was gone, leaving only the writhing fury within him and that awful feeling of loneliness.
It was so strange to feel that way with all his nakama around.
It was nobody's fault, really, and he knew this. He couldn't help what he felt, though. The fact that they didn't know what he knew and couldn't share the burden was eating at him, and knowing the moment to see them die again was approaching because he wasn't strong enough to stop it. It was driving him crazy.
He heard the door open and close but there were no footsteps. Surprised Sanji turned around and found himself alone in the empty kitchen.
"Is not a good time now, Swordsman-san," Robin's voice reached him from outside the door. "Cook-san is not feeling well and had no time to rest with the storm."
"I don't care what the idiot cook needs," Zoro said loud enough Sanji didn't need to strain to hear it. He gritted his teeth and wished Robin wouldn't meddle in that, he wanted to kick the idiot's head in right then and there. "He's been snapping at everyone and glaring the entire day, he owes us an explanation."
"If you go there now is not an explanation what you will get, it's a kick," Robin said and she sounded too amused for Sanji's peace of mind.
"Fine with me," Zoro replied and Sanji saw the door moving an inch and then close again.
"Chopper will be very upset if you damage your body more, Swordsman-san."
Sanji rolled his eyes. It wouldn't make a difference soon enough but it seemed to be the thing to say because when the door opened it was Robin who entered, not Zoro.
"Ah Cook-san," she said smiling and Sanji turned his back to her and began chopping things at random, looking for all the world as if he had not been eavesdropping. She didn't buy it. "I need to get a bottle of rum for Zoro."
"In the rack," Sanji replied curtly, torn between annoyance at her intervention and amusement at how well she handled them. "Why isn't the marimo getting his own stuff, he shouldn't be making a lovely lady do his work."
"Thank you. Is dinner going to be soon? Luffy is already trying to eat Chopper," she said not really answering his question. Not that it was needed; Sanji knew perfectly well why he wasn't there.
"Pirates!" Usopp's shout prevented the conversation to continue and Robin gave Sanji a questioning look when he sighed tiredly.
"Let's go," he said not looking at her, "it seems this day is not over yet."
…
Sanji didn't waste any time once they were outside, walking up to Nami and requesting the same thing again. Nami looked at him puzzled and asked if he was insane, but she did what she was told the moment the first unseen hit landed on her.
The rest of the fight went much the same way it did the day before, Sanji fighting like a madman, trying to kick and cut everything on his path.
At some point he collided against Zoro, cursing at him and feeling so tempted to aim the next kick at his head he wasn't able to dodge a hit to his side.
"Fuck! Fucking Marimo, if you're not going to help at least don't hinder me!" he shouted, all sense of purpose and reality almost lost.
Zoro shot him a glare but didn't say anything, his white sword clamped firmly between his teeth and blood dripping from a wound in his arm. He turned to cut down the attacking enemy, gritting his teeth against the hilt of his sword when it stood up again.
"Fucking useless every single one of them," Sanji muttered under his breath, the pain on his side making him angrier.
"What the fuck is your problem, Cook?" Zoro shouted while he dodged a blow and parried with one of his own.
"Nothing, nothing is my problem marimo," Sanji said kicking the panther-woman in the middle and sending her sprawling. "Just fight and try not to die for once."
If looks could kill Sanji would have died on the spot, not that he needed any help for that considering how the fight was going.
"Fucking stupid cook," Zoro said and was going to lunge at Sanji when he stopped cold, a gunshot ringing in the ship. The screams that followed only made it worse, Zoro's eyes widening and looking frantically around, trying to see something in the mist. "What?"
"Fuck no!"
All the anger drained from Sanji in an instant, despair replacing it as if it had never left. No. Not again.
He wanted to close his eyes and make everything disappear.
"Sanji what are you doing! Move!" Zoro shouted and gave him a push out of the way and the next Sanji saw was Zoro crumbling on the deck, bleeding profusely from a wide wound on his chest.
"No, stop, stop it!" Sanji shouted, the mist lifting finally to allow him to see the carnage around him.
Again he was the last one standing. Again he had failed.
And again he closed his eyes and waited for her.
…
"I don't want to talk to you, let me die in peace," Sanji whispered when the woman appeared in front of him again.
Today had been the worst of all, and the previous ones had been bad enough. It wasn't just seeing his friends die and not being able to stop them. The knowledge that it would happen again was eating at him, and in spite of her assurances that there was a way out, Sanji couldn't find it.
The torture was unbearable. He had the chance to save everyone but he wasn't smart enough to figure it out. Maybe this was his punishment for some heinous deed in a previous life.
You've really given up. she said and she sounded so damned disappointed Sanji felt something for the first time in the whole day.
"Go away," he said angrily, his fury choking the words.
I can't. Not without you.
"Is that what you want? Is that what I have to do?" Sanji shouted uncaring, for the first time in his life, that she was a woman or that she claimed to be helping them. This wasn't a normal woman anyway, no matter the shape she took. She was Death, more than that she had to be a devil to put him through all that.
Maybe he was already in Hell and he had not realised yet.
She wasn't answering but she was staring at him with a pointed look on her face and Sanji felt again like an idiot. She was trying to tell him something and he was too tired and too depressed to think clearly.
He almost didn't care anymore.
"You want me to die?" he asked acidly, all his frustration and anger coming out. "Fine, I'm dying. That's the reason you're here, isn't it?"
She shook her head sadly, still not saying anything. It was the first time she had not given him any information and Sanji hated her at that moment more than anything else in his life.
"Fine, have it your way!" He said closing his eyes and waiting for the end.
It didn't take long.
…
Day 6
Author: aviss
Pairing: Zoro/+Sanji
Rating: R
Genre: Drama, Angst, Horror.
Warning: Violence, character deaths (only not)
Disclaimer: So disclaimed.
Summary: Sanji is given a second chance to set things right. And a third. And a fourth…
Word Count: ~3.100 this part
Day 1
Day 2
Day 3
Day 4
Day 5
"Oi Cook, you fell asleep in the galley again and it's your watch now," Zoro said his voice a gruff whisper. He looked half asleep and Sanji stifled a yawn.
"Go to sleep you dumbass, I'm awake," he said in a low whisper, despair and exhaustion clear in his voice. He couldn't do it anymore, couldn't stand the sight of his nakama dying around him for another day. The old woman was right, he wasn't strong enough.
Zoro might have felt something strange in his voice because he didn't move, didn't leave the galley.
"Are you sick, Cook?" Zoro asked, frowning.
Yes, I am. I am sick and tired of seeing you die every single night and being too fucking useless to stop it, Sanji was so tempted to say that, but he couldn't muster the energy for it. He just shrugged. "Go away Zoro, I'm fine," he said in the same defeated tone. Zoro looked like he wanted to protest, he opened his mouth and whatever it was he was going to say was cut off by a gigantic yawn. "Just go, I'll be in the Crow's Nest in a minute," Sanji said forestalling his protest and closing his eyes again.
The silence in the galley was thick and filled with unspoken questions, Zoro still staring at Sanji, not leaving.
It didn't take long for it to annoy the hell out of Sanji.
He opened his eyes and glared at the silent marimo, the anger he was feeling disproportionate for the cause, but Sanji was too tired and hurt to care. He needed a good night sleep, or better make it a week. And he needed to know his friends would be there when he woke up.
"Get the fuck out of here, Marimo," he snapped standing up and Zoro's worried frown melted into a scowl, his sleepiness vanishing in the wake of an expression Sanji was more used to: anger.
"What is your problem, Cook?" Zoro growled taking a step toward him. "It's your fucking watch now, you want to ditch it?"
Sanji fished inside his jacket pocket for a cigarette, lighting it and blowing the smoke on Zoro's face, gearing out for a fight. That was what he really needed to make him feel better, a fight he could win.
That mere thought made his anger deflate.
It wasn't Zoro the one he wanted to fight, the one he needed to defeat. And taking it out on him wasn't going to change the outcome of the night's events.
Suddenly Sanji felt very, very tired again. Zoro was staring at him with narrowed eyes, hands on the hilt of his swords and his entire posture radiating menace, but he wasn't attacking, he was merely responding to Sanji's provocation.
He shook his head and averted his eyes, turning to the door. "I'm going now, you go to sleep idiot. If we fight now and you get a single scratch on you Chopper will have my hide for it," he said before leaving.
He heard Zoro say something which sounded suspiciously like bastard cook but decided it was wisest to just ignore it.
When he got to the Crow's Nest he rested with his back against the window, not wanting to see the crimson moon reflected in the black waters. Somehow it made him think of blood pooling on the Sunny, like it had been the night before, and he was sure he wouldn't stand it.
He needed to clear his head before facing another hellish day.
His mind had other ideas, however. It kept going back to the previous night and his conversation with the old woman.
He hadn't been thinking clearly when he tried to attack her, but it was too much to ask of him that he would keep his head after suffering everyone's death day after day. He was strong but he wasn't a monster. Nobody would be able to stand that for long.
And Death--she had admitted they wouldn't be able to defeat those things. If that was true, why the fuck she kept making Sanji relive it again and again? Did she expect him to say "I give up, take us all"?
If she did she was very close to getting what she wanted.
But it couldn't be it, it just couldn't. She had been the one who gave him a chance, why give him hope only to make him suffer a fate worse than death?
Just thinking about it was making Sanji get angry again, and this time he didn't even try to talk himself out of it.
Anger was a thousand times better than hopelessness in his book.
…
By the time Robin arrived to take over the watch Sanji had worked himself into a state of rightful fury and was relishing the feeling. He had been so immersed in pain and despair for the past five days it was a welcomed change.
He nursed the feeling all the way to breakfast: he was angry with the old woman for putting him through that shit, he was furious with his nakama for being oblivious to his suffering and dying on him again and again, but mostly he was livid with himself for being so fucking weak and feeling that way.
It was vicious circle he didn't know how to break, so he got more and more angry instead.
He worked on breakfast with short and jerky movements which would have made Zeff kick the shit out of him had he known, his knives hitting the cutting board with so much force Sanji knew they had to be leaving permanent marks. He didn't care; he had never felt so alone in his entire life and needed to take it out on something.
In his mind he kept calling his nakama every name in the book, the rational part of his brain cringing with shame at the unfairness of it.
Luffy was a big oaf of a Captain who couldn't swim or navigate, had about the same common sense as a spoon and was always chasing after stupid adventures and getting them killed.
Usopp was a big coward with an even bigger mouth, completely useless in a fight and so unreliable the only thing he was good for was to be the ship's clown.
Chopper should've been eaten a long time ago for all the good he did in a fight.
Franky was a perverted bastard whose only redeeming point was his skill at making weapons, weapons which had not saved anyone so he might as well have stayed in Water 7.
Brook was dead and still needed rescuing again and again. One couldn't get more useless than that.
And Zoro. Zoro was the worst of the lot, all brawn and no brain. The fucking marimo was only good for bleeding on things and making a doctor a necessity on the ship. For all his strength he died like the rest of them. And he annoyed Sanji like no one else ever did.
He spared the girls, knowing even in his state that he would never forgive himself if he insulted them even in the privacy of his own head. He had not sunk so low yet but he didn't make any promises for the next day.
He was almost shaking with fury and self-loathing when the door opened and Robin entered the kitchen and he made a conscious effort to calm himself. She stopped barely inside, staring at Sanji with a thoughtful expression.
"Are you all right, Cook-san?" Robin asked after a long searching look.
Sanji took a breath and clenched his jaw, turning back to the stove to finish composing himself. He poured a mug of steaming coffee and gave it to Robin with a small smile.
"Yes Robin-chan, just tired," he said. The smile must have looked as forced and brittle as it felt on his face but Robin said nothing, she only nodded and took her usual sit.
She didn't say anything else, just sat in silence sipping her coffee and watching Sanji with a slight frown on her pretty face.
"Sanjiiiiiii, I'm starving!" Luffy's usual shout accompanied the crew's arrival for breakfast and Sanji had a moment of intense dislike for them, so happy and oblivious. He glared at his nakama with narrowed eyes for a second and then caught Robin's surprised look and turned to the plates, taking deep breaths to control his emotions.
Fuck, he was totally losing it.
His mood didn't take long to spread to the rest of them, breakfast quickly turning into a tense and silent affair, all eyes fixed on him. The only person acting normally was Luffy, cramming his mouth with as much food as he could and munching away happily.
"What's wrong with you, shitty-cook?" Zoro's voice broke the uncomfortable silence, "You've been glaring at us all the time."
Sanji turned to respond and saw Robin putting a hand on the marimo's arm and shake her head.
"Cook-san is tired, Zoro," she said with a small smile, "He had watch before so he probably just needs to rest."
Zoro looked like he wanted to say something else and Sanji silently dared him to. He was itching for a good fight; he had been since he woke up.
Zoro stared at him a second longer and then turned to Robin with a little nod before leaving the kitchen. The rest of the crew took it as their signal to leave as well, only Robin remaining sitting in her place, eyes fixed on Sanji.
"Cook-san," she said slowly, as if talking to a dangerous and frightened animal, "is something bothering you? You seem tense."
He really wanted to hit something, rage at the world and scream to be left the fuck alone, but this was Robin and he couldn't do something like that in her presence. Sanji sighed and leaned against the counter tiredly. "I might be coming down with something, Robin-chan," he lied not looking at her. He knew she wasn't going to buy it, but he also knew she wasn't going to press him for the truth.
"You do look pale and tired," she said standing up and walking up to him, putting her hand against his forehead. Normally such an expression of concern form one of the girls would have turned him into a gooey mass of happy cook, today it didn't muster more than a thrill of grateful excitement. "Maybe you should have Chopper give you a check up and take a nap before lunch."
Sanji smiled and this time it felt real, "If only I could," he said wistfully, "but there is no time."
Robin looked at him puzzled for second and then blinked surprised when Franky's shout called everyone outside.
"Time for the show to begin," Sanji muttered under his breath and follower her to the deck to face the storm.
…
Sanji retreated to the kitchen right after the storm to wait for Zoro; most of the calmness he got in the morning during his conversation with Robin was gone, leaving only the writhing fury within him and that awful feeling of loneliness.
It was so strange to feel that way with all his nakama around.
It was nobody's fault, really, and he knew this. He couldn't help what he felt, though. The fact that they didn't know what he knew and couldn't share the burden was eating at him, and knowing the moment to see them die again was approaching because he wasn't strong enough to stop it. It was driving him crazy.
He heard the door open and close but there were no footsteps. Surprised Sanji turned around and found himself alone in the empty kitchen.
"Is not a good time now, Swordsman-san," Robin's voice reached him from outside the door. "Cook-san is not feeling well and had no time to rest with the storm."
"I don't care what the idiot cook needs," Zoro said loud enough Sanji didn't need to strain to hear it. He gritted his teeth and wished Robin wouldn't meddle in that, he wanted to kick the idiot's head in right then and there. "He's been snapping at everyone and glaring the entire day, he owes us an explanation."
"If you go there now is not an explanation what you will get, it's a kick," Robin said and she sounded too amused for Sanji's peace of mind.
"Fine with me," Zoro replied and Sanji saw the door moving an inch and then close again.
"Chopper will be very upset if you damage your body more, Swordsman-san."
Sanji rolled his eyes. It wouldn't make a difference soon enough but it seemed to be the thing to say because when the door opened it was Robin who entered, not Zoro.
"Ah Cook-san," she said smiling and Sanji turned his back to her and began chopping things at random, looking for all the world as if he had not been eavesdropping. She didn't buy it. "I need to get a bottle of rum for Zoro."
"In the rack," Sanji replied curtly, torn between annoyance at her intervention and amusement at how well she handled them. "Why isn't the marimo getting his own stuff, he shouldn't be making a lovely lady do his work."
"Thank you. Is dinner going to be soon? Luffy is already trying to eat Chopper," she said not really answering his question. Not that it was needed; Sanji knew perfectly well why he wasn't there.
"Pirates!" Usopp's shout prevented the conversation to continue and Robin gave Sanji a questioning look when he sighed tiredly.
"Let's go," he said not looking at her, "it seems this day is not over yet."
…
Sanji didn't waste any time once they were outside, walking up to Nami and requesting the same thing again. Nami looked at him puzzled and asked if he was insane, but she did what she was told the moment the first unseen hit landed on her.
The rest of the fight went much the same way it did the day before, Sanji fighting like a madman, trying to kick and cut everything on his path.
At some point he collided against Zoro, cursing at him and feeling so tempted to aim the next kick at his head he wasn't able to dodge a hit to his side.
"Fuck! Fucking Marimo, if you're not going to help at least don't hinder me!" he shouted, all sense of purpose and reality almost lost.
Zoro shot him a glare but didn't say anything, his white sword clamped firmly between his teeth and blood dripping from a wound in his arm. He turned to cut down the attacking enemy, gritting his teeth against the hilt of his sword when it stood up again.
"Fucking useless every single one of them," Sanji muttered under his breath, the pain on his side making him angrier.
"What the fuck is your problem, Cook?" Zoro shouted while he dodged a blow and parried with one of his own.
"Nothing, nothing is my problem marimo," Sanji said kicking the panther-woman in the middle and sending her sprawling. "Just fight and try not to die for once."
If looks could kill Sanji would have died on the spot, not that he needed any help for that considering how the fight was going.
"Fucking stupid cook," Zoro said and was going to lunge at Sanji when he stopped cold, a gunshot ringing in the ship. The screams that followed only made it worse, Zoro's eyes widening and looking frantically around, trying to see something in the mist. "What?"
"Fuck no!"
All the anger drained from Sanji in an instant, despair replacing it as if it had never left. No. Not again.
He wanted to close his eyes and make everything disappear.
"Sanji what are you doing! Move!" Zoro shouted and gave him a push out of the way and the next Sanji saw was Zoro crumbling on the deck, bleeding profusely from a wide wound on his chest.
"No, stop, stop it!" Sanji shouted, the mist lifting finally to allow him to see the carnage around him.
Again he was the last one standing. Again he had failed.
And again he closed his eyes and waited for her.
…
"I don't want to talk to you, let me die in peace," Sanji whispered when the woman appeared in front of him again.
Today had been the worst of all, and the previous ones had been bad enough. It wasn't just seeing his friends die and not being able to stop them. The knowledge that it would happen again was eating at him, and in spite of her assurances that there was a way out, Sanji couldn't find it.
The torture was unbearable. He had the chance to save everyone but he wasn't smart enough to figure it out. Maybe this was his punishment for some heinous deed in a previous life.
You've really given up. she said and she sounded so damned disappointed Sanji felt something for the first time in the whole day.
"Go away," he said angrily, his fury choking the words.
I can't. Not without you.
"Is that what you want? Is that what I have to do?" Sanji shouted uncaring, for the first time in his life, that she was a woman or that she claimed to be helping them. This wasn't a normal woman anyway, no matter the shape she took. She was Death, more than that she had to be a devil to put him through all that.
Maybe he was already in Hell and he had not realised yet.
She wasn't answering but she was staring at him with a pointed look on her face and Sanji felt again like an idiot. She was trying to tell him something and he was too tired and too depressed to think clearly.
He almost didn't care anymore.
"You want me to die?" he asked acidly, all his frustration and anger coming out. "Fine, I'm dying. That's the reason you're here, isn't it?"
She shook her head sadly, still not saying anything. It was the first time she had not given him any information and Sanji hated her at that moment more than anything else in his life.
"Fine, have it your way!" He said closing his eyes and waiting for the end.
It didn't take long.
…
Day 6