>_>
Yeah...haven't updated for a couple days, so I guess I'll do so now.
I've been keeping up with my rather heavy work schedule, which I guess is a good thing. It still feels so strange to just be standing around chatting for a good part of the day--the expectations at Hollywood are highly different from every other job I've had. I've only been asked to work faster once, and that's by the pesky coworker I mentioned in earlier entries. I'm thinking he probably didn't realize how much stuff he gave me to do, so he didn't have a great scope on exactly how long it'd take me to finish. Makes sense, huh? But at this point, I have a good handle on how to run a register, look up inventory, set up new member accounts, etc. The pay is the big thing I wish would change, but given the low stress level, the hours I'm getting, and the fact that I never have to clock out for a lunch or a break, I think I'll do all right with finances.
Tomorrow, though! That will be somewhat hectic. I have class from 10:40-1:07 (theoretically; Okuda-sensei usually lets us out a few minutes earlier than that ^^;;), which leaves me with just enough time between that and the Honors College meeting (5 PM) to do some reading and make some food. And then I have to rush to Hollywood to pick up Jonquill's shift until about 12:45 AM. I guess it's not that bad, but I'm not too keen on that whole HC meeting thing. I guess I'm not comfortable around all the super chatty, extroverted folks I've seen in my HC class thus far.
Speaking of HC, ambition is pretty valuable these days. I need to pick some up, I think. I still didn't declare that major like I wanted to, and while inquiring about it and talking to an advisor was a step in the right direction, I'm starting to let myself get settled again. I can't do that. I need to really consider my best interest in terms of a career and do something to make it happen.
I've been wondering about an English or rhetoric major lately, strangely enough. Doing something with English isn't exactly my dream job, but it's realistic, and I think that's key. I truly love philosophy and Japanese, but I don't know exactly what I'd do with a Philosophy major or a degree in international studies with a focus on Japan. I guess I need to talk to the amazing international studies folks to really understand that latter course...and I really should. But for now, like I said, English is a possibility. I'd have a lot of classes to take and I don't love the subject matter, but I like it well enough and I think it comes somewhat naturally to me. Maybe a major in that and a couple minors in the subjects I really adore?
On the subject of Japanese (don't you love it how loosely I tie all these paragraphs together?), I watched Long Vacation recently and I loved it. It was essentially a mish-mash of many of the things I really enjoyed about Great Teacher Onizuka, Escaflowne, FLCL and Evangelion--that is to say, it focused a lot on characters and their interactions--but was, of course, live action. (I don't necessarily think it did everything better than said anime, but it certainly didn't have as many distractions from the characters as did most of those series.) It's kind of strange, I guess, that really it was just a very cohesive soap opera and I like it more than a bunch of battles with mechs and swordsmanship and what-have-you, but there you go.
Long Vacation's male lead, Sena, really got me thinking about how I treat others. I know he isn't a real person--actually, he was the product of a very well-written script and a pretty boy from SMAP--but he was an unconditionally nice guy. There's something very admirable about a person who's willing to act against his self-interest in order to be consistent with (very altruistic) morals and hasn't a spiteful bone in his body. Sure, he was taken advantage of a few times and endured some pain, but it was all in the name of aspiring toward goodness, and I think that makes it worthwhile. Of course, like most soap operas do, there was a happy ending, but regardless of what the scriptwriters intended, I don't think the ends were what justified his actions: the actions themselves were inherently good, and regardless of how things ended up for him, he was a good person.
But I do want karma to exist, I think. It's unbearably painful for me to contemplate the possibility of a good person being spat upon his whole life and dying without ever reaching the top. But if good intentions and actions don't equate to some kind of good result, how are they really "good"? If justice doesn't in some way take its course, for what purpose is kindness such an honorable pursuit? I'll be the first to admit that there is often intrinsic value in being kind and considerate to others, but I'm not even speaking in direct reference to myself here: wouldn't it be an atrocious shame if you had a truly amazing friend whose life never saw any light?
Perhaps, then, one of the main reasons religion is so necessary is that we as people need to impose a higher moral standard and purpose upon ourselves. We somehow need a way to believe that the great people we love will come to be rewarded for their benevolence in one way or another. And really, I think morality and a related system of rewards/punishments are even more central to most religions than stories of creation. Of course, not every religion does necessarily guarantee that conventional moral behavior alone will guarantee some kind of salvation--Christianity, for example, seems to group "worship of God/Christ" in with acts of charity and genuine kindness, or even as more important than such things--but the general framework is there, and while corruption does exist, I can relate to the main idea behind it all.
Not that I know much about Buddhism, but like I said, I think I like karma most of all. For those unfamiliar with the concept of karma, it takes the old adage "what goes around comes around" and essentially makes it a belief system. Conducting oneself will allow one to be placed into a favorable position in subsequent incarnations--eventually leading up to the attainment of Nirvana, which is tantamount to "enlightenment" and is, as I understand it, somewhat analogous to the more Western concept of heaven--while acting and thinking immorally will cause one to experience unfortunate circumstances upon rebirth. I could be off with some of the explanations I gave, but the main idea--that greatness in thought and action will eventually work in one's favor--is the part that really does it for me.
In any case, I have a long day ahead of me, so I'd better get some rest. As it is, I'll probably be a bit more sleep-deprived than is ideal, but there's not much I can do about that right now. And updating was certainly worth it, as I had a lot to get out and feel better for it.
I've been keeping up with my rather heavy work schedule, which I guess is a good thing. It still feels so strange to just be standing around chatting for a good part of the day--the expectations at Hollywood are highly different from every other job I've had. I've only been asked to work faster once, and that's by the pesky coworker I mentioned in earlier entries. I'm thinking he probably didn't realize how much stuff he gave me to do, so he didn't have a great scope on exactly how long it'd take me to finish. Makes sense, huh? But at this point, I have a good handle on how to run a register, look up inventory, set up new member accounts, etc. The pay is the big thing I wish would change, but given the low stress level, the hours I'm getting, and the fact that I never have to clock out for a lunch or a break, I think I'll do all right with finances.
Tomorrow, though! That will be somewhat hectic. I have class from 10:40-1:07 (theoretically; Okuda-sensei usually lets us out a few minutes earlier than that ^^;;), which leaves me with just enough time between that and the Honors College meeting (5 PM) to do some reading and make some food. And then I have to rush to Hollywood to pick up Jonquill's shift until about 12:45 AM. I guess it's not that bad, but I'm not too keen on that whole HC meeting thing. I guess I'm not comfortable around all the super chatty, extroverted folks I've seen in my HC class thus far.
Speaking of HC, ambition is pretty valuable these days. I need to pick some up, I think. I still didn't declare that major like I wanted to, and while inquiring about it and talking to an advisor was a step in the right direction, I'm starting to let myself get settled again. I can't do that. I need to really consider my best interest in terms of a career and do something to make it happen.
I've been wondering about an English or rhetoric major lately, strangely enough. Doing something with English isn't exactly my dream job, but it's realistic, and I think that's key. I truly love philosophy and Japanese, but I don't know exactly what I'd do with a Philosophy major or a degree in international studies with a focus on Japan. I guess I need to talk to the amazing international studies folks to really understand that latter course...and I really should. But for now, like I said, English is a possibility. I'd have a lot of classes to take and I don't love the subject matter, but I like it well enough and I think it comes somewhat naturally to me. Maybe a major in that and a couple minors in the subjects I really adore?
On the subject of Japanese (don't you love it how loosely I tie all these paragraphs together?), I watched Long Vacation recently and I loved it. It was essentially a mish-mash of many of the things I really enjoyed about Great Teacher Onizuka, Escaflowne, FLCL and Evangelion--that is to say, it focused a lot on characters and their interactions--but was, of course, live action. (I don't necessarily think it did everything better than said anime, but it certainly didn't have as many distractions from the characters as did most of those series.) It's kind of strange, I guess, that really it was just a very cohesive soap opera and I like it more than a bunch of battles with mechs and swordsmanship and what-have-you, but there you go.
Long Vacation's male lead, Sena, really got me thinking about how I treat others. I know he isn't a real person--actually, he was the product of a very well-written script and a pretty boy from SMAP--but he was an unconditionally nice guy. There's something very admirable about a person who's willing to act against his self-interest in order to be consistent with (very altruistic) morals and hasn't a spiteful bone in his body. Sure, he was taken advantage of a few times and endured some pain, but it was all in the name of aspiring toward goodness, and I think that makes it worthwhile. Of course, like most soap operas do, there was a happy ending, but regardless of what the scriptwriters intended, I don't think the ends were what justified his actions: the actions themselves were inherently good, and regardless of how things ended up for him, he was a good person.
But I do want karma to exist, I think. It's unbearably painful for me to contemplate the possibility of a good person being spat upon his whole life and dying without ever reaching the top. But if good intentions and actions don't equate to some kind of good result, how are they really "good"? If justice doesn't in some way take its course, for what purpose is kindness such an honorable pursuit? I'll be the first to admit that there is often intrinsic value in being kind and considerate to others, but I'm not even speaking in direct reference to myself here: wouldn't it be an atrocious shame if you had a truly amazing friend whose life never saw any light?
Perhaps, then, one of the main reasons religion is so necessary is that we as people need to impose a higher moral standard and purpose upon ourselves. We somehow need a way to believe that the great people we love will come to be rewarded for their benevolence in one way or another. And really, I think morality and a related system of rewards/punishments are even more central to most religions than stories of creation. Of course, not every religion does necessarily guarantee that conventional moral behavior alone will guarantee some kind of salvation--Christianity, for example, seems to group "worship of God/Christ" in with acts of charity and genuine kindness, or even as more important than such things--but the general framework is there, and while corruption does exist, I can relate to the main idea behind it all.
Not that I know much about Buddhism, but like I said, I think I like karma most of all. For those unfamiliar with the concept of karma, it takes the old adage "what goes around comes around" and essentially makes it a belief system. Conducting oneself will allow one to be placed into a favorable position in subsequent incarnations--eventually leading up to the attainment of Nirvana, which is tantamount to "enlightenment" and is, as I understand it, somewhat analogous to the more Western concept of heaven--while acting and thinking immorally will cause one to experience unfortunate circumstances upon rebirth. I could be off with some of the explanations I gave, but the main idea--that greatness in thought and action will eventually work in one's favor--is the part that really does it for me.
In any case, I have a long day ahead of me, so I'd better get some rest. As it is, I'll probably be a bit more sleep-deprived than is ideal, but there's not much I can do about that right now. And updating was certainly worth it, as I had a lot to get out and feel better for it.