(no subject)
I am extraordinarily angry for something that isn't my problem. But you know what? I think that, for once, I'm angry because this is fucking ridiculous and I have reason to feel betrayed, even if it doesn't directly affect me, rather than because I'm trying to take responsibility for other people's problems. I would willingly force [person] out of the school for this if I could. I wish I could! I'd have to custom-lock to explain more because it's related to TJ, and I can't be bothered.
Next most hated? Apathy. I realize this is a little hypocritical, because I'm apathetic about a lot of other people's causes, but seriously? The next time someone gives me a long, polite explanation of why they're choosing not to participate in the Day of Silence that amounts to "I can't be bothered," I just might give up. Frankly, I'm not sure I want to participate either, but I've got several very good reasons: I've done it the past four years; I'm gay, and went through coming out, so I don't need to practice being quiet in order to discover what it's like to be forced into silence about my sexuality; I'm being coerced into organizing the Day, which makes me want to run the opposite direction and have nothing to do with it; if it's anything like past BQSA events, we'll have such small participation that it will make BQSA look pathetic more than it brings issues to anyone's attention, creating an overall negative effect. And I'm going to participate nonetheless, out of loyalty to a group I don't yet have any loyalty to, in the hope that I'll eventually make it a group worth being loyal to. So you know what? "I can't be bothered" really just isn't going to cut it.
Yeah, yeah, I'm being cryptic and a downer; I sound like a morose 16 year old boy. Well, deal with it. I've been feeling a bit like a morose 16 year old boy for a while.
Anger can be good. It makes me feel productive.
Next most hated? Apathy. I realize this is a little hypocritical, because I'm apathetic about a lot of other people's causes, but seriously? The next time someone gives me a long, polite explanation of why they're choosing not to participate in the Day of Silence that amounts to "I can't be bothered," I just might give up. Frankly, I'm not sure I want to participate either, but I've got several very good reasons: I've done it the past four years; I'm gay, and went through coming out, so I don't need to practice being quiet in order to discover what it's like to be forced into silence about my sexuality; I'm being coerced into organizing the Day, which makes me want to run the opposite direction and have nothing to do with it; if it's anything like past BQSA events, we'll have such small participation that it will make BQSA look pathetic more than it brings issues to anyone's attention, creating an overall negative effect. And I'm going to participate nonetheless, out of loyalty to a group I don't yet have any loyalty to, in the hope that I'll eventually make it a group worth being loyal to. So you know what? "I can't be bothered" really just isn't going to cut it.
Yeah, yeah, I'm being cryptic and a downer; I sound like a morose 16 year old boy. Well, deal with it. I've been feeling a bit like a morose 16 year old boy for a while.
Anger can be good. It makes me feel productive.