Pimpage and thoughtage
First:
The JMAC Website!
I wanted to pimp the site, 'cause Jamie did such a fab job on it, and 'cause Nicole went out of her way to get the info that I apparently couldn't get. I can't put to words how much I appreciate that, so I'm just going to pimp the site. Thank you guys so much.
I have the best club in the world, bar none. Yay!
And I've been thinking too much again. There's so much I could do to improve myself, but I don't have the will power to do it. I haven't been to the gym since I cleaned out my locker earlier this month, and I haven't totally watched what I've eaten. I think my weight's stayed the same, but I'm frightened to find out. I spend more time at work and sitting at home than trying to go out with people, and I feel bad about that. I see Lowell, and I see people at school, but that's it. And it's my own fault because I'm too cowardly to make the effort to do anything about it. I'm worried about getting rejected by people who I don't believe would ever reject me, even though I feel like I deserve it. And once again, instead of doing anything about it, I whine about it and get too scared to do anything. Baka.
I think about what I can do to better myself, and what I can to do to be a better friend and a better person, and I can never concentrate enough to do it. I get too selfish about stuff, and just worry about what I can do to get through a day, as opposed to making that day better. It makes life either very boring or very stupid, what with the whining and the talk of one's self all the time, and I just feel like a jackass most of the time. I just don't want to turn into that person who people like having around every once in a while, as opposed to all the time. I think I've already turned into that person. And it's my own fault.
I probably will try to improve upon it in my actions and deeds and stuff, and will try to make the environments I'm in more enjoyable, at least. I want people to continue having fun at JMAC ('cause I know I do), and I want people to just enjoy life, since there's so much to enjoy about it. I want to help, and I want to be helpful...I just have to do it, I guess. I wish I *could* just suck it up and do the things I want to do, do the things that people would enjoy and want of me. I'm just so lazy and unmotivated.
It needs to be summer. Now.
Now, for wandering the room and reading "The Lottery." How's that for motivation.
I love you all.
The JMAC Website!
I wanted to pimp the site, 'cause Jamie did such a fab job on it, and 'cause Nicole went out of her way to get the info that I apparently couldn't get. I can't put to words how much I appreciate that, so I'm just going to pimp the site. Thank you guys so much.
I have the best club in the world, bar none. Yay!
And I've been thinking too much again. There's so much I could do to improve myself, but I don't have the will power to do it. I haven't been to the gym since I cleaned out my locker earlier this month, and I haven't totally watched what I've eaten. I think my weight's stayed the same, but I'm frightened to find out. I spend more time at work and sitting at home than trying to go out with people, and I feel bad about that. I see Lowell, and I see people at school, but that's it. And it's my own fault because I'm too cowardly to make the effort to do anything about it. I'm worried about getting rejected by people who I don't believe would ever reject me, even though I feel like I deserve it. And once again, instead of doing anything about it, I whine about it and get too scared to do anything. Baka.
I think about what I can do to better myself, and what I can to do to be a better friend and a better person, and I can never concentrate enough to do it. I get too selfish about stuff, and just worry about what I can do to get through a day, as opposed to making that day better. It makes life either very boring or very stupid, what with the whining and the talk of one's self all the time, and I just feel like a jackass most of the time. I just don't want to turn into that person who people like having around every once in a while, as opposed to all the time. I think I've already turned into that person. And it's my own fault.
I probably will try to improve upon it in my actions and deeds and stuff, and will try to make the environments I'm in more enjoyable, at least. I want people to continue having fun at JMAC ('cause I know I do), and I want people to just enjoy life, since there's so much to enjoy about it. I want to help, and I want to be helpful...I just have to do it, I guess. I wish I *could* just suck it up and do the things I want to do, do the things that people would enjoy and want of me. I'm just so lazy and unmotivated.
It needs to be summer. Now.
Now, for wandering the room and reading "The Lottery." How's that for motivation.
I love you all.