How's this for real?*
You offered me a drawer in your dresser.
You cleaned it out because "it was nearly empty anyway."
And then you told me I could put whatever I wanted in it.
At your house. Because you wanted me to come back. A lot.
This is the part where I pause with my elbow on the table, hand cradling chin and covering mouth, eyes looking for frame of reference.
I am searching for reasons why I am not OK with this.
I have a lot of history, and none of it ended well. Some of it was worth the journey. That was always true at the beginning, at any rate.
It's really only the end parts that suck. But there's always end parts. And I'm not really ok with that. I mean, I am. It's inevitable. Separation is our destiny, whether through death or growth.
Think about that a while. I'll wait.
But it has to be ok, right?
I mean, the good parts are really, really good. And I refuse to let fear of the potential not good parts overshadow that. And, it seems you do too.
I don't know about you, but in my experience there've already been some pretty stellar not good parts. And yet, here I am?
Oh, what? Explain the not good parts?
Well maybe the first couple weeks in January I cried a hell of a lot more than I let on. Holy shit, New Year's Day sucked. But you don't always get to know. It's all good.
But then the rest of it.. like the second week of January until... um, NOW. All of that is more than good. It's really amazing to me. I don't pretend to know what it is for you, but is SEEMS good too.
And that takes my breath away. (Sorry, Wim Hof, 'tis what it'is)
* So. It's impossible for anyone to be less than real. Even the camouflage and posing are real aspects of any individual. Respect that, because it's real.
You cleaned it out because "it was nearly empty anyway."
And then you told me I could put whatever I wanted in it.
At your house. Because you wanted me to come back. A lot.
This is the part where I pause with my elbow on the table, hand cradling chin and covering mouth, eyes looking for frame of reference.
I am searching for reasons why I am not OK with this.
I have a lot of history, and none of it ended well. Some of it was worth the journey. That was always true at the beginning, at any rate.
It's really only the end parts that suck. But there's always end parts. And I'm not really ok with that. I mean, I am. It's inevitable. Separation is our destiny, whether through death or growth.
Think about that a while. I'll wait.
But it has to be ok, right?
I mean, the good parts are really, really good. And I refuse to let fear of the potential not good parts overshadow that. And, it seems you do too.
I don't know about you, but in my experience there've already been some pretty stellar not good parts. And yet, here I am?
Oh, what? Explain the not good parts?
Well maybe the first couple weeks in January I cried a hell of a lot more than I let on. Holy shit, New Year's Day sucked. But you don't always get to know. It's all good.
But then the rest of it.. like the second week of January until... um, NOW. All of that is more than good. It's really amazing to me. I don't pretend to know what it is for you, but is SEEMS good too.
And that takes my breath away. (Sorry, Wim Hof, 'tis what it'is)
* So. It's impossible for anyone to be less than real. Even the camouflage and posing are real aspects of any individual. Respect that, because it's real.