Characters: Tackey and Tsubasa
Genre: AU and fluff
Rating: PG
Summary: Down-on-his-luck Takki realises that he can do no right, not in the getting the right girl or even the right pet.
![](http://pics.livejournal.com/avery_averette/pic/002pqh7g)
Pic: Google search
Pet Master (Part 1/3)
It happened again. After finally kissing a few months' worth of salary goodbye, his girlfriend kissed him goodbye and walked into the sunset with her latest conquest of designer bag and branded stilettos.
Such was his luck with the 'fairer' sex. Below-average Salaryman Takki knew that the only currency going for him was his good looks, and while that had ever failed to get him a complimentary egg with his order of ramen, girlfriends were invariably more interested in a fat wallet. And after one too many disillusions, Takki would happily contend with dying alone in a house full of cats, if not for his parents' insistence on him pro-creating.
They'd say, 'Guys with half your looks are married with kids. What's wrong with you?'
He often pondered over that too. One day, in the midst of finding himself, it suddenly occurred to Takki that he could always fake it. Surely in the vast and resourceful Internet, there had gotta be an answer like rent-a-girlfriend.com. Although a quick Google search proved promising at first, Takki realised that they were often porn sites in disguise. And the links either didn't work or opened up to another popup of sexual frustration. Finally after a few futile hours, he saw it - rent-a-petto.com. Thankfully, it wasn't cats or dogs they were offering, but furless humans. What convenience - human pets at one's disposal, minus the fuss of toilet training, obedience school and pet insurance. There were many species on offer too. There were the toy breeds - cute and petite girls to the pit bull kind - female pro wrestlers. Takki would've jumped at the offer of a pit bull. But with so many female pro-wrestlers and so little time, he ultimately settled for a sensible crowd-pleaser, a gentle Dachshund kind, in the form of a harmless-looking girl-next-door.
To prepare for an upcoming home visit cum inquisition, Takki arranged to meet up his Dachshund a week early, fully intending to train it to 'slobber' his parents senseless. They had agreed to meet on a Saturday morning. Watching the heavy downpour that morning, Takki wondered if it would lose its way.
'Morning!' A soaked-to-the-skin gentleman cheerfully greeted as he opened the door.
Takki paused and unconsciously checked the number on his door.
'Ah... sorry! Good morning, Master-sama!' The gentleman greeted again, this time bowing abruptly as he did.
Takki inspected the dripping wet creature in front of him. There were nipples peering from under the flimsy white fabric. Refusing to be distracted by their perkiness, Takki concluded that no matter how heavy a downpour, there was no way it could alter the sex of his female pet.
'There must be some mistake,' he explained. 'You're the wrong... sex.'
Taking an immediate offence, Tsubasa retorted, 'There's nothing wrong with me! And if it's sex that you want....'
Words soon gave way to a tug-of-war, each pulling on their end of the door knob. The scene was not unlike an overly-protective master trying to wrestle a dirty bone from his beloved overgrown pup. Like all wars waged between pet and master, the master inevitably concedes that success is not only improbable but impossible. Likewise, this war was soon won and the spoils were a dry beach towel and a mug of warm milk.
'Please don't send me away. You're my last hope!' The male Dachshund pleaded, complete with dewy, surrender-your-resistance eyes.
It turned out that Tsubasa was as down on his luck as Takki. While Takki suffered a long stream of luxury-goods-munching gold-diggers, Tsubasa always managed to get picked up by old sleazebags looking for pacifiers in young hot studs. More often than not, he would end up reaching for a baseball bat or soccer ball, and like missiles aiming for maximum damage they'd almost always hit their human targets in the face or down sensitive south. Understandably, with the title of 'Worst Pet of the Month' hanging round his neck for three months straight, his career as a human pet was on the verge of being put to sleep. He needed a break. And who better than Takki? For one, this potential Master was not of the Viagra-popping age group and though not too bright, he was certainly not too hard on the eyes either.
Part 2/3 A/N: Surprisingly, I'm writing again. I was actually hit by another story idea, Sleeping Beast just last week while shoe-shopping (strange). And this one soon followed. Since that's angsty and this's fluffy, no mystery why I started on this first. Have fun.