(no subject)
one of the unfortunate days where i let unhappiness at work eat into me past office hours. i wonder how much longer i can hold on to this facade. it's open secret that there's nothing inspiring left in this company. we are like the last few men onboard, steering an old ship till the day the fuel runs out. it felt as if i started off as a lowly skipper, hauling the ropes and manning the sails on the open decks. then, i got myself a seat in the shade, but still had to work hard at navigating the seas. and by some odd stroke of luck, i found my butt on a coveted seat in an aircon room and all i had to do was to smile and play along, usually like a dumb duck. but however, every time i want to take my new responsibilities seriously, all i get is incontrollable rage boiling inside.
now, this ship still has loads of fuel to go. she has taken care of me fairly well in terms of remuneration, allowing me to enjoy a relatively-stable life with spurts of fun here and there, and i'm really thankful for that. giving up all these right now and throwing myself back to the days of sweating it out as a lowly skipper is definitely illogical. unwise. mad, even.
but deep down inside i know i am the kind who thrives on going against the odds. of restoring order in chaos. sometimes i wonder if this is what a fireman is feeling everyday at work. obviously no one wants a fire or an accident to happen, but without them, how would a raring-to-go fireman be able to prove his worth? the hero syndrome, or whatever it is known as.
argh. let this be one of those days. shall go sleep and forget about it. i have another day of playing dumb tomorrow.
now, this ship still has loads of fuel to go. she has taken care of me fairly well in terms of remuneration, allowing me to enjoy a relatively-stable life with spurts of fun here and there, and i'm really thankful for that. giving up all these right now and throwing myself back to the days of sweating it out as a lowly skipper is definitely illogical. unwise. mad, even.
but deep down inside i know i am the kind who thrives on going against the odds. of restoring order in chaos. sometimes i wonder if this is what a fireman is feeling everyday at work. obviously no one wants a fire or an accident to happen, but without them, how would a raring-to-go fireman be able to prove his worth? the hero syndrome, or whatever it is known as.
argh. let this be one of those days. shall go sleep and forget about it. i have another day of playing dumb tomorrow.