Also...
Decided to try unblocking The XGF on FB. Not sure if that was a good idea or not, as it means I see her comments on our mutual friends posts. Thankfully I suppose we've got only really two who post much. I'm still thinking how it would be nice were we in a place where I could joke with her that she needs to come with a warning label, as her last boyfriend (i.e., I) had to go on medication to cope with everything once she broke up with me. Which is a bit of a stretch, but I still think it would be amusing. Granted the timing is of course about as bad as could be possible, so it won't happen, but yeah. Oh yeah, and need to constantly remind myself that after the last email I wrote her, I just need to assume for my own emotional safety that she doesn't consider me worth her time or energy any longer. Believing that will help me immediately, I think. Sucks when it comes down to it, but wasn't my choice. Need to remember that last part.
I'll have to wait until tomorrow night before I can block her again, should I choose to do so. Really should just try to refocus completely, but it's difficult also as I like to analyze what happened and what I could do differently in the future to prevent the same badness from happening again. (Being a reflective and somewhat obsessive person sucks sometimes, heh.) Been listening to CD #6 in The Psychology of Achievement today. Difficult to do, but I think will be beneficial in the long run. Blaming only does so much (which really isn't much productive at all, acutally), so it's nice to find things that I can take responsibility for. In a way I'm... glad(?) that I was aware of at least one of the things even during that I shouldn't have been doing. Anyway, yeah. Crap, I really need to get to bed.
I'll have to wait until tomorrow night before I can block her again, should I choose to do so. Really should just try to refocus completely, but it's difficult also as I like to analyze what happened and what I could do differently in the future to prevent the same badness from happening again. (Being a reflective and somewhat obsessive person sucks sometimes, heh.) Been listening to CD #6 in The Psychology of Achievement today. Difficult to do, but I think will be beneficial in the long run. Blaming only does so much (which really isn't much productive at all, acutally), so it's nice to find things that I can take responsibility for. In a way I'm... glad(?) that I was aware of at least one of the things even during that I shouldn't have been doing. Anyway, yeah. Crap, I really need to get to bed.