I wish she'd get out of my dreams
So last night I had another dream with my ex-girlfriend in it. There were a few different parts, like wandering through a house looking for her since we were supposed to go somewhere. I remember ice cream, and her calling someone on the phone before we left. Then there was riding in her van.
We eventually got to wherever it was, and I met some shirtless, scrawny, long-haired hippy-ish guy there. Apparently someone decided the two of us should fight to see who'd be initiated into their realm, with the loser not getting in. She thought it'd be a great idea. I didn't want to, cos I'd have to fight with her, too, and I remember the one time the two of us had - she creamed me. So yeah, not exactly gung-ho about publicly getting my ass kicked. For some reason I was under the impression that if I could win and get accepted that she'd love me again. Which was pretty crappy, since I knew given the difference in experience how that was well nigh impossible. Nothing like the imminent possibility of being the loser and her realizing that she'd been right all along in that she "could never date someone who didn't do fighting."
It's strange cos I know it's not all my fault, and how right now everything's up to her. She needs to figure her stuff out and get back to me, and until then I just have to stay away. I guess dreams reflect feelings though, what with wishing that there were something I could actually do to get an answer sooner. Though I know that that's not the reality of the situation.
Ironic how for the longest time I used to wish that I could at least see her in my dreams again, and how after she dumped me I wish I wouldn't even think about her yet now how she haunts me there. And the best part is how realistic they are - complete with all of the awkwardness. Heh. Figures.
We eventually got to wherever it was, and I met some shirtless, scrawny, long-haired hippy-ish guy there. Apparently someone decided the two of us should fight to see who'd be initiated into their realm, with the loser not getting in. She thought it'd be a great idea. I didn't want to, cos I'd have to fight with her, too, and I remember the one time the two of us had - she creamed me. So yeah, not exactly gung-ho about publicly getting my ass kicked. For some reason I was under the impression that if I could win and get accepted that she'd love me again. Which was pretty crappy, since I knew given the difference in experience how that was well nigh impossible. Nothing like the imminent possibility of being the loser and her realizing that she'd been right all along in that she "could never date someone who didn't do fighting."
It's strange cos I know it's not all my fault, and how right now everything's up to her. She needs to figure her stuff out and get back to me, and until then I just have to stay away. I guess dreams reflect feelings though, what with wishing that there were something I could actually do to get an answer sooner. Though I know that that's not the reality of the situation.
Ironic how for the longest time I used to wish that I could at least see her in my dreams again, and how after she dumped me I wish I wouldn't even think about her yet now how she haunts me there. And the best part is how realistic they are - complete with all of the awkwardness. Heh. Figures.