Schizophrenia

[rici_1113]

Hey. I'm wondering if there are any average homos out there with schizophrenia or who's partners have it. My ex-boyfriend is schizophrenic and we're still friends and its not totally impossible that we will be more then friends again. I'm looking for some sort of been-there, done-that kinds of stories that could help with what I'm dealing with.

Comments

[sourdick]

yeah ~

[sourdick]

why did you delete my comment, dummy? I was saying "YES", as in ME. hurrfff.

[rici_1113]

oh well, honestly, many other times you've replied to threads on this group it's usually some lame and often mean-spirited reply. "yeah ~" wasn't much of an answer and I just assumed it was in the same vein as the others.

so, do you have any thoughts beyond "yeah" ?

[sourdick]

Not in public, no. If I was as mean and lame as you say, I would have been banned a long time ago. I call out stupid gays for acting like stupid gays, thats it.

When someone makes a serious and legitimate post, I generally reply in kind with serious and legitimate replies.

We've been together 9 years, and I have an absolutely enormous amount of experience with it, but if you're into prejuding, then you're not much better than you say that I am~ glass houses~ throwing stones~ hum~

[meridianchild]

I think that's the most candid I've ever heard you in this group! Nevermind the fact that you got booted from whateverfaggot, hehe. I wish I saw that epic post. :(

[meridianchild]

Uhh, at the expense of getting flamed, I have paranoid personality disorder. I've been told it's like "diet schizophrenia." I don't even try to date and usually push guys away because I'm usually sure it won't end up well.

If there's any advice I can offer HIM (I really have none for you), it's to open up about his feelings and thoughts, regardless of how absurd they are. It's the nature of the disorder to have irrational thinking, but the only time it really becomes a problem is when he has unfounded suspicions about someone close to him and refuses to share them in what he believes to be his best interests. Again, not completely sure if this applies at all, that's just my experience.

:)

[glamthasil]

Why do you think you'd be flamed for disclosing that?

[meridianchild]

Probably because I have paranoid personality disorder?

[_candide_]

Wow. That suck. You have my sympathy and understanding.

See, most people think, "clinical depression," has something to do with feeling really, really, really sad. It's not. There's a suite of things that go wrong. And, if an episode runs out of control, one can start having "inappropriate fear-responses." Like panic attacks. Or crowd anxiety. Or horrific nightmares. Me? When my episodes get very severe, I start suffering from paranoia as my bonus-phantom-emotion.

A result of this is that, even after getting treatment, even after years of healing, I still have problems with trust, and will push people away - hard - if I'm not feeling well.

So, I repeat: you have my utmost sympathy, and my understanding.

[_candide_]

Hey. I'm wondering if there are any average homos out there with schizophrenia or who's partners have it.
I can't really help you there.

However, I can tell you what I've seen from the other side of the fence. I've suffered from unipolar mood disorder since childhood (went untreated until I was 23). The love of my life, epinoid, and I have been together for over 16 years, the first 5 of which were long distance. I was in remission for almost all of that time, though I'd have a few "rough patches" now and then.

I came out of remission and was fighting slipping back into an episode from the fall of 2007 until summer of 2009. It was rough on me, and even rougher on him. During those earlier, "rough patches," epinoid would joke, after they'd ended, that he wanted to shrink-wrap me and put me in the attic until it had passed. During the past 2 years, the only thing that he could do was try to be there for me, and express his love with his hugs. Words tend not to get through; mental illnesses of any form tend to scramble them

[meridianchild]

Most of my friends have bipolar disorder, so I can understand what you went through with this, with not understanding what's going on with your body/brain and wanting it to pass: not just for you, but for the people you love and want to understand you too.

I was diagnosed with MDD when I was 17, but it was extremely circumstantial and I don't even know if it was the right diagnosis. I hope you've been medicating this, because MDD is not something to fool around with. Pharmacology aside, though, what I've found helps my bipolar friends most is a keen ability to predict what they'll be going through in the next 2-3 weeks. It's obviously very self-prophetic; but emotions come in waves, and sometimes it's better to let the ebb and flow come rhythmically as they do instead of forcing it back and making a bigger "wave" later on. After all, fighting a serotonin imbalance in your head is about as futile as stopping a wave on the beach in itself.

[_candide_]

Ah, someone else who's taken their mental illness, recovered, and now tries to educate others! ^_^

I finally received proper treatment for my unipolar mood disorder when I was 23. I'm now 40.

Bipolar is different from unipolar in more ways that, "doesn't have the manic phase." I've had bipolar friends tell me that it's as if someone took the 0-10 emotion dial, and cranked it up to 20. For a unipolar mood disorder, it's more like, well, living in a grey fog. All of your "positive" emotions just disappear; the best you can get is neutral.

BTW - while serotonin is one of the neurotransmitters involved in mood disorders, it's not the only one. Some people with a unipolar mood disorder, like me, also have a norepinephrine imbalance. Dopemine can also play a role, though it's not clear how.

[meridianchild]

Uhh I'm sorry, I didn't mean to come off as condescending. I wasn't trying to "educate" so much as trying to relate to a couple people in the community.

I thought this was post was a query for advice in the first place?