(no subject)
I told you when you said you loved me, I said, no, you don't, I said no, i said no to you, I told you not to, because I knew you didn't, you don't. I told you no so that you could just let it go, let it down, so could let it go. You didn't though, you held on so tightly tight enough to have your strong arms hold me down again. Your grip was so tight I couldn't move, I could only wait, for it to happen again, for you to realize, the moment i'm confortable in your grip that you dont want me. Then you let me go. Does that make sense?
I called you
I made plans with you
You broke down and told me you missed me, you wanted me back
I told you no
I told you if it were to happen it would happen and it would be slow, very slow
I was terrified of what you would do to me
After telling me you still loved me, I didn't want to say it back, because I was scared
I was scared I would say it back and we would get back together and you would realize you didnt love me
And my heart would be broken a second time
So what happened in between doesn't matter- Leanna - Danny - Justin, it doesn't
Its so hard to explain it only makes sense in my head
I was protecting myself
I cant justify where i go or who i go with to you if your bias. but i love a boy named andrew who makes me want to paint, who makes me feel beautiful and special and important, I love his smile and he hates it, i love his music and how hes the best friend you ro brent could ever ask for, he was my best friend and nobody will be able to fill his shoes while hes gone
Im not going to say you treated me bad
Im ot going to say I was always unhappy
Im not going to say you made alot of mistakes that were unforivable
Im not going to, because despite all that, Im still here aren't I?
Considering it?
Would I be here if it was all that bad
I was never happy yet I can't let you go again?
You guilt me and make me feel crappy over things I shouldnt or things I already feel bad about
You dont accept my appologies
You owe me so much money and I dont barate you about it
What is left of me for you to take?
NOTHING
FUCK THERES NOTHING LEFT
YOUVE TAKEN IT ALL TWICE!
THERES NOTHING LEFT FOR ME TO EVEN LIVE OFF OF
YOUVE THROWN ME THROUGH SO MANY LOOPS- IM NOT A CIRCUS DOG- IM NOT TRAINED FOR THIS!
IM TIRED AND DIZZY
IM WORTHLESS I KNOW THAT NOW
ONE MORE BRICK HAS BEEN ADDED TO MY SHOULDERS AND I CANT CARRY IT ANYMORE
I CANT PRETEND ITS OK
ITS NOT OK
MY ARMS ARE BREAKING AND IM FALLING AGAIN
I BUILT MYSELF UP SO STRONG DURING THE TIME YOU WERE GONE
I called you
I made plans with you
You broke down and told me you missed me, you wanted me back
I told you no
I told you if it were to happen it would happen and it would be slow, very slow
I was terrified of what you would do to me
After telling me you still loved me, I didn't want to say it back, because I was scared
I was scared I would say it back and we would get back together and you would realize you didnt love me
And my heart would be broken a second time
So what happened in between doesn't matter- Leanna - Danny - Justin, it doesn't
Its so hard to explain it only makes sense in my head
I was protecting myself
I cant justify where i go or who i go with to you if your bias. but i love a boy named andrew who makes me want to paint, who makes me feel beautiful and special and important, I love his smile and he hates it, i love his music and how hes the best friend you ro brent could ever ask for, he was my best friend and nobody will be able to fill his shoes while hes gone
Im not going to say you treated me bad
Im ot going to say I was always unhappy
Im not going to say you made alot of mistakes that were unforivable
Im not going to, because despite all that, Im still here aren't I?
Considering it?
Would I be here if it was all that bad
I was never happy yet I can't let you go again?
You guilt me and make me feel crappy over things I shouldnt or things I already feel bad about
You dont accept my appologies
You owe me so much money and I dont barate you about it
What is left of me for you to take?
NOTHING
FUCK THERES NOTHING LEFT
YOUVE TAKEN IT ALL TWICE!
THERES NOTHING LEFT FOR ME TO EVEN LIVE OFF OF
YOUVE THROWN ME THROUGH SO MANY LOOPS- IM NOT A CIRCUS DOG- IM NOT TRAINED FOR THIS!
IM TIRED AND DIZZY
IM WORTHLESS I KNOW THAT NOW
ONE MORE BRICK HAS BEEN ADDED TO MY SHOULDERS AND I CANT CARRY IT ANYMORE
I CANT PRETEND ITS OK
ITS NOT OK
MY ARMS ARE BREAKING AND IM FALLING AGAIN
I BUILT MYSELF UP SO STRONG DURING THE TIME YOU WERE GONE