stone foxes
I'm awake and lit up by computer screen blues & whites at two-thirty in the morning because I had a substantial nap this afternoon, because I only had a few hours of sleep the night before, because midterms and assignments and the tangled web of graduate school applications have started to bleed into every moment of my life, because I'm not very good at handling stress. Little hands, hot potatoes. Bad metaphors, easy answers.
I'm listening to "Fade Into You" by Mazzy Star right now because it's played during the pivotal scene (king and queen's first dance at the winter ball) of my favourite teen bullying movie ever (Angus), because that movie suddenly appeared on my TV screen on the Family Channel last Friday night after months spent fruitlessly searching for it amongst stacks of VHS boxes at every thrift store I pass, because sometimes some things just come right up to you when you're not really expecting them and then it takes you a minute to recognize what's really happening-- what's really there, I mean...what's right here-- and it hits you and knocks you off the couch and you're so fucking grateful for it.
(That last one wasn't structured very well. But you probably know what I'm getting at.)
I'm grateful for the Family Channel and being awake and coffee and wine and cats and snow, because I'm happy.
-ier. Happier. Because I'm still getting there.
I'm listening to "Fade Into You" by Mazzy Star right now because it's played during the pivotal scene (king and queen's first dance at the winter ball) of my favourite teen bullying movie ever (Angus), because that movie suddenly appeared on my TV screen on the Family Channel last Friday night after months spent fruitlessly searching for it amongst stacks of VHS boxes at every thrift store I pass, because sometimes some things just come right up to you when you're not really expecting them and then it takes you a minute to recognize what's really happening-- what's really there, I mean...what's right here-- and it hits you and knocks you off the couch and you're so fucking grateful for it.
(That last one wasn't structured very well. But you probably know what I'm getting at.)
I'm grateful for the Family Channel and being awake and coffee and wine and cats and snow, because I'm happy.
-ier. Happier. Because I'm still getting there.