Well,
As I said in my previous post "
Been A WHILE!" I would do a post about the things italisized in it so here I go!
Daisy;
Is my pure bread fawn American Boxer, her arrival was a complete surprise! The day my mom, her fiance and I went up to Orangeville to register me for my victory lap at the high school we took a different way home, or so I thought. We ended up in Barrie which confused me I couldn't figure out why, then we pulled up at a house I didn't recognize, I was even more confused and mom was very excited so I thought maybe we're visiting a family member that moved? but she would've told me that. So we knock on the door and are invited in when I instantly see a little puppy tripping over her oversized paws bouncing around happily! I was in shock that we were getting another puppy so soon! But she won my heart instantly! I took one look and she began to cry and bounce to my feet where I grabbed her and held her so tight. Mom and I decided we were getting her and naming her Daisy before her fiance even made it to the door. She layed with me in the back of the truck the entire drive back to Brampton where she slept in my neck just like Mocha did when he was a kitten, it's because of the warmth in case you were wondering. So she got home, Duke loved her instantly but Mocha was curious as to this tiny floppy animal scurrying around and taking his place in my lap but he warmed up to her eventually. Daisy is my girl, I trained her from that puppy stage, walked her/ran her 2 times at least a day for a minimum of half an hour, I fed her, medicated her, everything. I had her trained to the point of being able to make small gestures and get my desired reaction. She became very protective over me when she was attacked a few times at the park down the street which has now turned her into more of an aggressive dog towards others and even people, children included. She's still my girl and I miss her every day. Whenever I was upset she'd console me. When Chris broke up with me and I was laying on a floor in tears she came a layed on my back wimpering with me. She knew "walk" or "keys" ment Jackie haha, if you ever spent time with her you'd know her gentle being. She'll always be my girl no matter what my mother says.
Christopher;
Oh boy...okay so when I moved to Orangeville he was the only person I knew in town from a mutual friend in Brampton who was a snowboard instructor with her at Hockley Valley (a snow/ski resort outside of Orangeville). So I spent a lot of time with him, met his group of friends etc. We connected and began dating. Very early in our relationship should've been my hint to bail but I of course tried to see the better in him. We had a fairly alright relationship for the most part but due to what happened early on I lost the trust and it was too hard to gain back. He began doing things he'd know upset me and what not. Obviously the relationship wasn't going to last but nearing the end of the 2 1/2 years I planned a Valentine's Day get away to Niagra for us; Hotel, Dinners everything, I was even going to be taking a vehicle down for that weekend for us so we'd have nothing to worry about, but he pulled the cord before I could.
As much as we had a rough relationship he's the only boyfriend I've had that knew what I liked; Valentine's he made me a stir fry because I had been craving a GOOD one, he seperated 2 boxes of Lucky Charms into Cereal and Marshmellow so I could get the proper ratio, instead of buying me roses he made me a dozen out of pipe-cleaners and tissue paper, we always discussed my nightmares and as a welcoming gift to Orangeville he got me a dream catcher and when that one broke he got me another, he gave me a beautiful simple white-gold necklace for our 1 year...his heart seemed to be in the right place but people do surprise you.
After our break up I was very angry towards him, obviously, but eventually I got passed it always trying to get him back until I finally gave up and we just simply started sleeping with each other, better than with randoms right? I became numb emotionally and of course that's when it turned around for him and he spent quite some time trying to get me back and I think there's a part of him that still wants to but it won't happen...it's been too long now.
He and I are still friends and talk every so often.
Christine;
Yes we had an epic falling out during high school but she and I are over all that.
We finally reconnected after I had e-mailed her asking why the hell we started fighting in the first place. So we're back to "normal" enjoying each others company even if it's in silence over the phone while watching TV. She's always there for me and will come see me if there's a problem at the drop of a dime. When I was kicked out of my house she drove all the way to Orangeville and helped me get everything out within half an hour. I love her dearly, everything else that happened whatever.
We may have little issues and things may bug me at times but that's a friendship. Her family welcomed me back with open arms and still treat me just like family and I love them so much for it, they've been beyond caring for me with everything this passed year and I appreciate it more than they could ever know.
Danny:
We began dating just after Christmas after talking consistently for a good month or so and knowing each other for 6 years prior. Things were good he was an amazing "boyfriend" I don't even know how to describe it; he knew just what I wanted physically without me saying (I'm not taking about sex). When I were at his house he'd always kiss me goodbye if he were going anywhere without me, even when I was asleep he'd do his best not to wake me, though the moment his lips touched my cheek or forehead I awoke it was a sweet gesture. When I was in the hospital he raced from Listowel to Orangeville and spent the rest of the day with me making sure I was okay and not in any pain. I had a fever another time of 102 that rose after a date night together and he stayed as late as my mom allowed making sure I took my medicine, had water etc...honestly no guy has ever gone to these lengths and I plan on trying to find these traits in the next guy I call a boyfriend. He went with my to my first ever
Thursday show!!!! with
Underoath. The show was amazing, it was Thursday's tenth anniversary since releasing their HIT album Full Collapse, my favorite album, so you know I had a full body orgasm that night. Anyway, I thought I saw Ankur when we were lined up outside but wasn't too sure, I had explained who he was to Danny so he wouldn't worry about anything. Ankur came in and from the top of where I was I had full view and I screamed at him at the top of my lungs, he came running up to me, hugged me and we began chatting, catching up etc. We tried to involve Danny in any conversations but he didn't seem interested but we still tried. After the show Thursday and Underoath were going to be doing a massive meet-and-greet and I was so excited I'd finally meet my favorite band of 11 years! wouldn't you be? But Danny insisted we were to leave, he didn't hold my hand through the crowd like most normal "boyfriends" would in protection, nor did he when crossing a VERY busy road -not- at an intersection in downtown Toronto, we get in the car and I ask if something is bothering him...he laughs at me...so I pry some more curious because I just had the time of my life. He begins yelling at me about Ankur for the entire ride back to Orangeville calling me names no guy should call his "girlfriend" and claiming I made him look like a 3rd-wheel/chump etc. I told him I needed space from him for all the things he said. A few days later he decided to break up whatever it is we had...then began bugging me for a month saying I'm all he thinks about etc...yet he ended things with me right?
Scott;
This was failed from the beginning, he knew but ignored it.
We hit it off and everything but we were also too opposite. I loved my fatty foods and horrible diet, he hated it with a burning passion. Our major connection was music and still is. He was a wonderful guy until one day when I got into his car on our way to Midland for the weekend and ASKED to put my ipod on so I could hear a specific song, he said yes, so I did and within a minute or so down hwy 9 he pulled to the side of the road angry, got out of the car with a wrench or tool or some sort and tried to rip out the fuse to the stereo system...yelling that it's HIS car he didn't want to hear my music...I replied with a simple "you should've just said so...take me home" after that things went down hill. There were a few reasons behind him ending things; me not being able to promise him 2 kids if we were to ever get married, the demon/evil spirit that is apparently attached to me and some others. I realized I didn't feel much for him because I wasn't very broken up by this...hurt yet but not very much...we talk occasionally, not often at all.
Landon E. Montclaire;
Anyone who knows me on a personal level knows this name and knows it well. This man has been apart of my life for 11 years now. When I was 10/11 I was "dating" someone who wasn't...sane let's say, Landon helped me out of it. After that we continued talking and there was a connection, as much as an 11 year old can, I fell for him...but it could never work...at first it was an ex-girlfriend wanting him back and me not liking competition I backed out - my fault, the rest of the times over the years was him coming and going out of my life...very painful for me and I tried filling the gap with other boyfriends but it never did work...I spent many years trying to find him. In 2007 I tried and again when Chris and I broke up, it was only then I managed to get a hold of his e-mail and he replied remembering who I was...I've kept every e-mail since. Everything went to as it was, but I was reluctant to admit my feelings in fear he'd disappear again and I'd be left broken apart trying to figure out what I had done wrong...but he didn't go anywhere, still my fear hindered everything and ultimately ended my 10 year pine. Even after we found out he was going to be a father, after the finding of the tumor after everything...now he's seeing this girl our in BC who has taken an odd motherly-like role in his daughters life which I am NOT a fan of due to the fact that they've been dating for 3 months. I know he's going to read this and get pissy but this is where I can say what I want and I really do not care. It's not that I don't like this girl, I couldn't care less, I care about Sadie and how distrot she'll be when this girl leaves. But this is Landon's daughter and his decision, I have nothing to do with anything that goes on out there anymore and as much of a relief as it is it upsets me just thinking it.
I talk to him less and less, he's busy with Sadie I know for sure and back to work and spending time with this girlfriend of his and I can't help but feel the same way I felt all those times again and I find myself fighting tears every time I think of it all (like right now). I don't blame him for the way I am with guys now but I know along with all the others it's a major factor. There will always be a part of me that loves him and will wait for him but I feel him drifting again and soon he'll be gone and Christine will be picking me up off my floor once again...
There's so much more I need to get out about Landon but I can't continue this at this time, I'm tired of crying...
"everywhere I run, everywhere I turn, I'm finding something new - lost in you. something I can't fight, I cannot escape, I can spend my life lost in you...I can never be the same that's something that I never could erase, I could never look away I've lost myself in you..."
Tomorrow: Ryan F., Jesse X., Shan J. and Scott P.
Much.Love.Stay.True.