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THIS ROUND IS NOW CLOSED TO NEW PROMPTS.
ROUND TWELVE WILL OPEN ON SATURDAY THE 8TH.
ROUND ELEVEN
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PROMPT FORMATTING:
Alphabetize pairings. They will be archived that way!Put [RPF] before RPF prompts ( Read more... )
These are 6 people who get together to worry over the latest idiotic thing their Avenger has done, ("(S)He threw himself off a building!" "That's the ninth time this month!" "Oh that's harsh.") set up hexa-dates at various restaurants ("Yes, 12 people. What? Why do we need to state if there are civilians or not?"), and tell off villains for keeping their squeezes a little too long out on the battlefield. (So much so that even Loki has agreed to attack only on weekdays from 9 to 5 then break for Christmas and birthdays.)
They are 6 people who have diverse backgrounds and not all of their families (if they have any) agree with them dating the Avengers. But they get through it by being total bros with each other, just like the Avengers are bros.
Bonus:
If some of them get hounded by the media because their Avengers were seen hugging and being affectionate in public. Then they haul off and lecture everyone on how hand-holding is innocent and non-indicative of a sexual relationship. It just means that their Avengers are comfortable with each other and trust each other.
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"OMG what has your Avenger done this time?"
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"Thank God," he said when she sat down in the orange chair parallel from him in the circle. "I thought maybe you'd cancelled---"
"We'd only cancel if the building was burning," Pepper said. "Even then, I'm sure we'd just relocate."
A few minutes, the other four shuffled in and took their places in the circle. Laura pinched her lips together and wrinkled her forehead, Aeneas slumped into his chair and sighed, Helen kept rifling through her purse for something, and Raquel just stared at each of them.
Pepper placed her hands on her lap. "Okay, who wants to share first this week?"
Aeneas raised his hand. "Clint shot three billboards."
Nolan leaned forward. "Three?"
"Yeah. Four times each. One of them was advertising Jersey Shore, so I really don't blame him for that one."
"Did he tell you why?" Laura asked, eyes wide.
Aeneas laughed, but hunched his shoulders. "Oh, I was there. We went out for drinks, and by the end of the night, I think I dared him to do it. I didn't think he'd shoot that many."
Raquel raised her eyebrows. "You've been dating your Avenger how long and you decided to challenge his aiming skills?"
"I was drunk!"
"Still..."
"People I know told me they've seen them. Hell, my mother called me yesterday and asked me if she need to talk to my crazy-ass white boy and get him straightened out. Behavior-wise, that is."
"What did you say?" Nolan asked. He tapped his feet again, hoping this story wouldn't take much longer. He liked Aeneas, but this was just silly. Nolan wasn't in the mood for silly.
"I told her I could handle it. I didn't tell her it was my idea, thought." Aeneas smirked.
The room fell silent for a few moments.
"Thank you, Aeneas," Pepper told him, her clear voice piercing the silence. "Who'd like to go next?"
Helen pulled some pictures out of her purse. "Two things. First, Steve met my children and grandchildren this week." She held the pictures out. "Things went better than I expected, though Jenny---my eldest daughter---kept giving me strained looks the whole time."
"Aw, those are sweet," Laura said, taking one of the photos. The others nodded. Nolan bit his lip and tapped his feet harder.
The lines around Helen's green eyes crinkled when she smiled. "Thank you, hon." Her mouth immediately switched to a firm line. "The other thing was that one of those gossip bloggers from TMZ hounded me at the grocery store and asked if Captain America was always attracted to older women or if I was just a lucky exception. I told her he's nearly thirty years older than I am, and that shut him up pretty damn quick."
Raquel and Laura applauded.
"Good for you, Helen," Pepper said, grinning in her calm way. "Does anyone have anything else to share about their Avenger?"
Raquel shrugged. "Not really. Me and Natasha had a pretty quiet week."
"So did Bruce and I," Laura added. "Except on Wednesday when I gave Loki an earful about interrupting our six-month anniversary. I've never seen his eyes so wide. But that was pretty much a non-issue compared to other stuff we've handled."
Nolan stared down at the floor's yellow tiles and the words fell out. "I told my mom. About me and Thor."
Aeneas began to clap, but stopped when he realized he was the only one.
Nolan kept his head down and rubbed his fingers against his palms until Pepper grabbed his left hand.
"Have you come out to your mom before? More generally, I mean?" she asked. Her voice echoed in his ears.
"Yeah. She's known about that for a few years."
"So what happened, exactly?"
Nolan rubbed his feet against the linoleum tiles and his tennis shoes squeaked. "Well, it was kind of an accident, but I sort of had to tell her..."
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"Just ignore it," Nolan said, thrusting again and tracing circles up to Thor's hip.
Thor chuckled and reached over toward the dresser. "But what if it's important? What if your presence is desperately required elswhere?"
"Then I don't wanna know."
Thor grabbed the phone anyway and answered. "Hello, you have reached Nolan's phone. He is unavailable at the moment, but---"
"Honey, did you change your answering machine on that thing?" Nolan's mother's voice squawked through the phone. Nolan froze. "Whose voice is it?"
"This is Thor Odinson, madam, and if you'd like, I can---"
"Oh, God, Nolan's phone got stolen! Do you think the NYPD take long-distance tips?"
Nolan snatched the phone out of Thor's hand. "Mom, I'm here. I've still got my phone. I'm fine."
"Then who the hell was that?" Her voice edged away from confused and skirted 'Why did you break curfew?' territory.
"That's Thor."
"Like the man with the cape and the big hammer? That's an odd name."
The phone slipped against Nolan's sweaty palm. "Well, uh, he is the man with the cape and the hammer. The god of thunder, actually." He shut his eyes and cringed. Not the thing to say.
"God of thunder? Why are you with a heathen? Is everything alright? Did he just save you from a mugger?"
"No, Mom. He's..." Nolan's tongue felt dry. "Thor is my boyfriend."
"Your boyfriend?"
"Yeah." Nolan glanced at Thor, who just peered at him curiously.
"You're dating a heathen?"
"He's not a heathen."
"You said he thinks he's a god of thunder. That's a heathen, dear." Now she was explaining things like she did when he was four. Nolan ran his left hand down his face.
"Look, Mom, it's complicated but he's actually from another realm, kind of like an alien---"
"I'm not sure how I can show my face in church again. They'll all be whisperin' about how Annie's son consorts with heathens and heretics and God knows what else."
Nolan bit his lip and stared at Thor's knee. "Mom, I get that this is kind of sudden, but---"
"Sweetheart, I love you, and I can accept that you are the way you are, but there are plenty of good Christian boys out there. You could give one of them a try."
Thor sat up and bent his head down toward the phone's speaker. "Madam, I can hear every word your saying. You boom louder than my father, which is no easy feat."
"Good. You should know that my son is a---"
"Kind, noble man, and you should be extremely proud to have raised him."
"Well...yes, yes, I should."
Nolan heard a slight click on the other end of the line, but said nothing.
Thor's eyes twinkled. "And since he is of age, perhaps it's time to respect your son's decisions, even if they diverge from your dogma."
Nolan had never heard his mother's voice shake before. "I-I-I, well, I...now just wait a minute---"
"Annie." Nolan's stepfather's voice crackled on the other end.
"Not now, Ted!" his mother snapped.
"Annie, the alien-god-man talks sense. Nobody at church is gonna care about your son datin' a heathen 'cause they'll be too busy talkin' about how he's in love with a superhero. And don't interrupt."
"Interrupt what?"
"Their alone time."
"Oh! Oh my God!" The other line clicked again.
Nolan took a deep breath. "Thanks, Ted."
"No problem, son. I had to step in---she was drowning out the Cardinal game."
"Well, we can't have that."
"No, we can't. Good luck to you boys. You're gonna need it if you ever come visit Cape Girardeau."
"Thank you for your blessing, Ted," Thor said, grinning at the phone.
"Don't mention it, big guy. Just don't make him cry."
Nolan squeezed his eyes shut again. "Ted!"
"Just lookin' out for ya, kid." Then Ted hung up.
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Finally, Thor spoke. "Your mother is quite a colorful person."
"That's one way to put it." Nolan buried his face in his hands.
Thor pulled him close. "She's well-intentioned but misguided."
"She's fucking crazy. Just say it."
"No, not crazy." Thor stroked Nolan's short hair. "Her sphere is tiny and she cannot understand anything beyond it, though you've long since passed its borders. She fears me because she fears for you."
Nolan didn't answer. He rubbed his nose against Thor's shoulder and shuddered. He should have turned his phone off. He should have shoved it in the drawer. No, he couldn't think that way. It happened the way it happened. Another shudder turned into a sob. Twin tears leaked onto Thor's shoulder and rolled down his divine form. Thor held him tighter and lay back on the bed, dragging his fingers up and down Nolan's back. For the rest of the afternoon, they only spoke in kisses and touches, but they couldn't finish what they started.
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"That was...very brave of you to share, Nolan," Pepper said, smiling sadly.
"Your mom's a bitch," Aeneas blurted out. "Your stepdad's pretty cool, though."
Helen's face had turned sheet white. "If I...If I did that to one of my children...I just don't know. I understand why she's worried, but Good Lord."
Laura shook her head. "That reminds me of the time my grandma called long-distance from China to tell me sleeping with a green demon would make me sterile."
"What did you do?" Nolan asked, wrapping his arms around his waist.
"Hang up."
Raquel folded her arms and frowned. "Can we road trip to Missouri to give this lady an earfull?"
"No," Pepper said.
"Aw, c'mon, Pepper. Stark Industries has to have some sort of giant van we could take. And we could take all of our Avengers with us and we could stop and see that giant Arch thing on the way."
"Loki would probably follow us and drain the Mississippi River," Laura remarked.
"I really don't want to think about that." Helen shivered.
"We could threaten to leave him in Missouri if they didn't treat Nolan more---" Aeneas began.
Nolan took a deep breath. "Thanks, guys, but I'm good. I'm just glad I told somebody. Someone who wasn't there, at least."
"It could have been a bit worse, though," Aeneas said. "Your Avenger is Super-Viking-Jesus. If that happened to me and Clint, the whole room would be full of arrows."
Raquel nodded. "Truth. Or so Natasha tells me."
Nolan shrugged. Maybe they were right. Maybe Aeneas or Laura would have had it worse, but he doubted it.
"I say we get Nolan a drink," Helen suggested.
"Before or after roller skating?" Pepper asked.
"Before," everyone answered.
Raquel nodded. "Thor can carry him if he feels wobbly."
"Thor would," Aeneas agreed. "Because he's Super-Viking-Jesus."
They all got up. Nolan's legs still felt leaden, but he pushed himself towards the door. As he reached the threshold, Aeneas slung his arm around Nolan's shoulder.
"Don't be so hard on yourself, man. She probably won't do it again."
Nolan tried to grin. "You don't know my mother."
"Yeah, but it's like lightning striking the same spot twice. And your boyfriend controls lightning." Aeneas paused. "I think I lost my point somewhere..."
"Anyway, if she does, she'll have a Hulk sitting on her front lawn," Laura said. "I could convince him to do it."
Nolan tried to laugh. "Yeah, you probably could. But don't. Please."
Suddenly, Tony Stark stepped out, blocking the hallway. "The Hulk's sitting on whose lawn?"
Nolan focused on the linoleum again. "It's nothing."
"Is this about the mid-coital meet-the-in-laws incident?"
Nolan looked up and went numb. "Thor told you?"
Tony smirked and nodded. "Yeah. With voices and hand motions. The Stepdad Ex Machina was the best part."
"See, someone agrees with me!" Aeneas exclaimed.
"If I'd had a dad like him, I might actually remember my twenties."
Nolan blinked. "Maybe."
Tony held out a water bottle full of brown most-likely-alcoholic muck. "The others are getting ready for a mission, so I have been elected to give you this. Made it myself. A little bit of everything."
"Thanks." Nolan took the bottle.
"I'll put an ambulance on standby," Pepper said, whipping out her iPhone.
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"It's Doom, not Loki," Tony told her.
"Does Doom get cowed by rapid Chinese? It works wonders on my landlord. And my boss. And Aeneas that one time."
Aeneas held his hands up. "Because your eyes got all weird and bright and you looked possessed!"
"I did not!"
"Let's just go," Raquel said, pushing her way past Tony into the hallway.
Aeneas put his arm around Nolan again. "Yeah, we're going skating without all y'all."
"Then we're going to hunt down Dr. Doom and introduce him to my mother," Nolan added. He grinned. Things weren't so bad. Not anymore.
"Godspeed with that," Tony said, saluting him. Then he walked down the hallway to the elevator. "Have fun. And take care of Pepper for me."
"She's safe with us!" Helen called after him, waving.
They all stood there for a few more moments, watching the elevator.
"Guys, I can't skate," Laura confessed.
"We'll teach you," Aeneas said. "We'll make one of those long chains and put you in the middle to help you stay up."
"Those are generally banned now," Pepper told him.
"Really? Shit."
They discussed other options as they left, but Nolan didn't really hear them. He was too fascinated with the brown muck in the bottle, swishing around and slopping against the clear sides. He swore he could almost see the liquors' original colors peeking out, but he probably imagined it.
"Hey, are you gonna try that?" Aeneas asked when they got to the front door. "If you don't, I will."
Nolan twisted the cap off and took a big swig. The sweet, bitter, tart, burning taste coursed through his mouth and down his throat, snapping everything inside him open. "Wow. That's crazy stuff. We'll pass it around as we go."
"Sweet!" Aeneas fist-pumped.
As they left, Helen went through her purse again. "Tootsie Roll to go with that, dear? They're taking over my handbag."
"Sure, thanks." Nolan popped the candy in his mouth. Whatever the hell that drink was made the chocolate seem stronger.
"Nolan, are you alright?" Pepper asked, stepping out onto the street.
"Yep. A lot better, actually."
Because it would all be alright. Because they'd all go skating and try not to fall over. Because they'd hold each other up. Because everyone would hear from their Avengers when all the craziness was over. Because Thor would crawl into bed next to him at some crazy hour and they'd watch crappy late-night television. Because for once, Nolan knew exactly where he should be. With his family.
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Okay okay where to start? Where to fricking start cause I have no idea WHICH PART OF THIS FIC I LOVED MORE.
I absolutely adore the fact that Pepper was the organizing the meet in Avengers Tower no less (Do their Avengers know about this?) and of course there's always going to be that guy who's ridiculously early, that person who's on time and someone else who shows up... eventually.
I loved that Aeneas's mother actually called to see if he needed help with his boyfriend and he's all shifty about it.
Steve with Helen? I did not see that coming but I absolutely love that you thought of it! She has children and grandchildren and she's a strong sweet lady who won't take no nonsense from the media. It's exactly the kind of thing they'd make a fuss about!
Thor answering Nolan's phone is absolute gold cause Nolan's mom is all sorts of panicked, overprotective, and narrow-minded but Thor just handles it like a pro. "Her sphere is tiny and she cannot understand anything beyond it" This line, I actually teared up cause it describes my family quite accurately.
Laura's grandma sounds like some of the old Chinese Ladies I know who think that everything under the sun will make a girl 'sterile' and cue "don't you wanna have babies? every girl wants to have bebbis" but I love the way she dgaf and just hangs up.
The fact that it's roller-blading day is adorable! Tony handing Nolan a bottle of god-knows-what and then Pepper is just all "I'll have an ambulance on standby"
Oh and this line: "A mission? On skating day? I am going to hunt Loki down and break out the rapid Chinese!" I scared my dog laughing at it.
The ending is pure fluffy delight. Like a fluffy cupcake family ending. Nolan's realization that sometimes, friends are your family and that he'd always have Thor with him as well as his friends, it just made me awwwww and feel for him!
Well author anon?
Job. Well. Done. Permabookmarked and 'heart'ed forever and ever.
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Steve with Helen? I did not see that coming but I absolutely love that you thought of it! She has children and grandchildren and she's a strong sweet lady who won't take no nonsense from the media. It's exactly the kind of thing they'd make a fuss about!
Yeah, at first, I considered putting Steve with Aeneas, but then I realized he might totally go for someone from one of the previous generations. And yeah, the media would definitely run around doing crazy analyses of why Captain America might date someone with gray hair. *gasps* I didn't get in quite as much media reaction as the prompt asks for, but I hope that moment at least helps.
This line, I actually teared up cause it describes my family quite accurately.
Oh, wow. That line describes my own mother in some ways, too, though she's more open-minded than Nolan's mother.
The ending is pure fluffy delight. Like a fluffy cupcake family ending. Nolan's realization that sometimes, friends are your family and that he'd always have Thor with him as well as his friends, it just made me awwwww and feel for him!
I'm glad you liked the ending---I thought it was too fluffy, but I couldn't figure out how else to end it.
Thank you again! This was so much fun!
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I also never realized how much I like that idea until reading this. Awsome fic :D
I had no idea how much I'd like any of these pairings until I started writing it, so you're not alone.
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Of course Steve needs an old-lady girlfriend who can actually relate to his experiences.
And I want the further adventures of everybody! And lots and lots of FANART. SRSLY.
Laura is the best! Except they are all the best. I really wish this would be a long-running series.
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Yes, he definitely does.
I would love fanart for this, too. Sadly, I cannot draw, but if anyone ever wants to try, that would be amazing.
Well, the Avengers only deserve the best. ;) Thank you for the sentiment, but for right now, I think this is a one-time thing, though I'm open to anything.
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