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THIS ROUND IS NOW CLOSED TO NEW PROMPTS.
ROUND FOUR WILL OPEN AT 10PM EST ON MONDAY THE 14TH.
ROUND THREE
closing at 5000 comments
Please read the [rules] before commenting!
REMINDER: THERE IS A SPOILER POLICY IN PLACE UNTIL 7 MAY.
PROMPT FORMATTING:
Alphabetize pairings. They will be archived that way!Put [RPF] before RPF prompts ( Read more... )
He grabbed the enveloped with Avengers written on it in loopy handwriting and tore it open. The letter (also handwritten in slightly smudged cursive) read:
Dear Avengers (Iron Man, Captain America, Thor, etc.),
We are a collection of your biggest fans. Your adventures throughout the comic, television, and film media have captured our utmost attention, and we love to expound upon these exploits by writing stories of our own, featuring the six of you plus your various associates. Recently, we discovered a portal that stretches from our universe to yours, and we scrambled to think of a proper way to thank you. We considered submitting our own work, but thought that might be slightly terrifying. Instead, we opted to send you the versions of your stories that are most dear to us---so dear, in fact, that some of us attended a marathon of these, and found the experience thoroughly enjoyable. We encourage you to do the same.
Love
Sincerely,
The ladies of avengerkink
P.S. Always skip to the end of the credits.
Bruce turned the pale purple piece of stationery over and saw small notes much messier handwriting that had been crossed out:
OH MY GOD! STEVE/TONY OTP!
BRUCE/TONY OTP!
Give me Natasha/Clint and I'm a happy camper.
LOKIIIIIII!!!!!
Only Thor fangirl in the pack. Figures.
Oh, God, what do we SAY to them?
Bruce set the letter down and glanced at the box again. He reached out towards it, but jerked his hand back. The two things made him feel numb. Not angry, just...like he was watching himself muse over the letter and the package from across the room, which didn't make any sense. Luckily, footsteps on the stairs snapped him out of his reverie.
Tony strode into the room in a wifebeater and his welding helmet. "What's with the box?"
"We got an anonymous package," Bruce told him, refusing to look at the box. "I'm contemplating opening it. It's a bit of an existential crisis."
Tony grabbed the box, held it up to his ear, and shook it. "Not a head. Most definitely not a head."
"What?"
"Like in Se7en: what's in the BOX?" Tony set the box back down. "Ididn'thaveapanicattackbecausethebeheadedgirllookslikePepper. Notatall."
"Okay, then." Bruce leaned back and put his hands behind his head. Aren't you gonna laser it open?"
"I have a better idea: I think it's time for a team meeting."
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"Loki's got some nerve," Clint remarked. Natasha shuddered and nodded.
"My brother would do no such thing!" Thor interjected, slamming his fist on the table. "It draws no attention to himself! He would never deprive himself of his very favorite thing."
"Big lug's got a point," Tony added.
"Maybe we should open it before we jump to conclusions? Gotta take risks sometimes," Steve said.
"Let's just hope we don't go kaboom," Bruce told him.
Steve tipped his head back. "Like I said, gotta take a risk."
Clint went and got a knife and handed them to Bruce. Everyone leaned forward while he forced the knife through the tape and cardboard. Bruce told himself that he had no reason to freak out, no matter what happened and no matter what the other guy thought. Finally, the box's flaps freed up and Bruce pushed them open. No explosions. No weapons. Just five DVDs. Their titles were Iron Man, Iron Man 2, The Incredible Hulk, Thor, and Captain America: The First Avenger.
"Just a little freaky," he heard himself murmur, staring at his DVD's cover. Of course, the other guy featured more prominently than he (or his actor) did. He looked up and noticed that the others were just as engrossed in their curiosity.
"Huh. Two Rhodeys," Tony said, quirking an eyebrow. "I am intrigued by this group's ideas and would like to subscribe to their newsletter."
"A film about me. I quite like this notion." Thor grinned and his eyes twinkled in their unnervingly bluer-than-blue way.
Steve was silent.
Clint's face contorted into his typical scowl. "Where's my movie? And Tasha's?"
Bruce peered back into the box again. "Sorry, Clint, that's all there is."
"Natasha's in my second one. See?" Tony said, pointing to her picture on that cover.
"Well, aren't we going to watch? I'd like to see how they turned out!" Thor exclaimed.
"Fantastic idea, Thor," Tony answered, patting the god on the shoulder. "I know exactly which one to watch first."
Bruce covered his face with DVD case and sighed.
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I'm not even switching back to anon to love you, but this is original OP.
MY COMPUTER BLUE SCREENED AS SOON AS I STARTED READING, RESULTING IN A PANIC ATTACK BUT IN OTHER NEWS
MARRY ME
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Clearly, your computer could not handle the awesomeness of your own prompt. :DDD
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And then I couldn't scroll down and suddenly, BLUE SCREEN.
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I so would be the one writing 'LOOOKIIII!!' on the back of the note xD
Speaking about Loki he should so make an appearance in here : D
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When you continue??
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Iron Man
As he watched the movie, Bruce was glad he met Tony after the incident in Afghanistan. Because Tony had been such a damn hedonist. It was hard not to hate him in the Vegas scenes.
"Wow. Just when I thought you couldn't be more of a douche," Clint remarked as they watched Tony make an ass of himself in front of the press.
"Hey, there's character development. I should know." Tony tossed a few kernels into his mouth. "You know, that reporter really wasn't that terrific. Way to shriek-y. Definitely faking it."
Bruce felt his insides squirm. "Fantastic, Tony. We really needed to know that."
"Yes, you did. Now let's watch."
Things get considerably more...awkward when they reach the parts in Afghanistan, which is probably really Morocco or Burbank, but that doesn't stop Tony's right eye from twitching.
"No one told me of this!" Thor exclaimed. He turned to Tony. "I had no idea you went through such torture!"
"Yeah..." Tony said through gritted teeth.
"Thor, if you can't make it through this without shouting, then you'll never make it through my movie," Bruce said, trying not to make his hands into fists.
The rest of that part was just depressing, with that captured scientist sacrificing himself for Tony. No one could even say anything about it. They all just glanced at each other nervously, and Bruce wondered if they'd cry when they got to The Incredible Hulk. He couldn't stop thinking about what would come next.
During the wandering-through-the-desert scene, Tony sings the theme from Lawrence of Arabia too loudly and things slowly lighten up. It was nice to know that Tony actually needed practice to fly his suit.
"You're going to fall in the ocean, aren't you?" Clint asked as they all watched Tony wobble in the Malibu moonlight.
"How else would he come up with that submarine app? Is it an app?" Natasha asked.
He didn't fall into the ocean. Everyone muttered and groaned.
"Wait, what happened to everyone's deep concern for my well-being in the Middle East?" Tony interjected.
"You survived," Clint answered.
"It's funny when your ideas get the better of you," Steve said with a cheeky smile. Bruce thought he'd be the one to say that, not the good Captain.
Their snark continues through the rest of the movie.
"What a fucking coward! Sure, we've all wanted to kill Tony at some point, but he should at least do it himself."
"Thanks, Clint."
"That was...the shortest hero-villain fight I've ever seen."
"I know, Steve, I know."
"...Oh, God, it's Coulson." That came from Steve.
"Something's wrong with his suit. It doesn't fit right. The man's suits always fit! SHOW SOME RESPECT, FILM!"
Bruce held his hands up. "Tony, not everything's going to be accurate. You just have to---"
"That's disrespecting the dead! You can only get away with that if my father's involved."
"Okay, then." Bruce put his hands down.
"TONY, WHAT KIND OF ENDING IS THAT?!" Thor boomed. He threw his arms out and knocked the popcorn bowl over. The kernels flooded Tony's lap. "One does not reveal such information and then end the story."
Tony glanced down at the spilled popcorn and rolled his eyes. "I didn't make the movie, Thor. I don't decide where it ends."
"But you divulged the information!!!"
Bruce grabbed the remote. "I think we're supposed to skip past the credits."
"What could be past the credits?" Steve wondered, leaning forward in the recliner.
Nick Fury could be. He would be. Standing in Tony's living room, no less.
"That was much more unsettling than this makes it look," Tony said, putting the popcorn back into the bowl.
Bruce shook his head. "Breaking and entering. Classy, Nick. Real classy."
Everyone paused.
"Okay, Bruce's comes next!"
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And I didn't even bluescreen!
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Right when Tony put the next DVD in the player, a bowl of ice cream (with rainbow sprinkles) got thrust in Bruce's face. Bruce looked up and saw Thor grinning at him.
"Take it, my friend" Thor said, proffering the bowl towards him. "I believe you're going to need it."
Bruce took the bowl, but only poked at the ice cream with his spoon. The movie...was alright. They didn't change the way things happened, and he wasn't offended. Hell, even the other guy wasn't offended about that. But they both got confused about the way the movie's Banner looked, especially since Tony's doppleganger was uncanny. "My---his face is too narrow. And his eyes are too blue."
"You're the Narrator from Fight Club," Tony noted. He paused. "That makes perfect sense."
"Except the other guy doesn't look like Brad Pitt."
"True. That would be an improvement."
But even if the other guy didn't care about the events, Bruce could feel him begin to well up, trying to break free when he saw the movie's Hulk's appearance. Bruce thought, nonononoNO, and shoveled the melting ice cream into his mouth, using everything he had to hold the creature back. The other guy liked the ice cream.
Luckily, everyone voiced their own opinions for him.
"WRONG SHADE OF GREEN!!!" Natasha shouted. Bruce looked over at her and blinked. She'd never raised her voice since he'd met her. Maybe she never felt she needed to. Except right now. "HE'S LIME, NOT OLIVE! GODDAMMIT!"
"This Hulk is stupid. I mean literally stupid. He doesn't even talk," Clint said, glaring at the screen. "He can sound coherent-ish in real life."
"And he doesn't even look like the actor. That's just lazy," Steve added.
"I concur with all of you points," Tony began, "but mainly, I just want movie-Banner to beat the living shit out of Reservoir Dogs over there."
Movie-Banner promptly did so. In the middle of Harlem, just like he really did.
"Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right! Here I am: stuck in the middle with you..." Tony sang while Thor bopped his head and arms from side to side. "And I'm wonderin' what it is I should do..."
The ending...Bruce was alright with the ending. And so was the Hulk.
"Okay, Bruce, I've only got one real question: How did you ever end up dating Arwen? I mean seriously. It's Arwen." Clint looked slightly dumbfounded.
"I don't really know." Bruce had never thought about it, but Betty did look like Arwen. Nice coincidence, he supposed. He grabbed the remote and skipped to the end of the credits.
"OH, YEAH, CAMEO!!!" Tony bellowed. "I remember when I had that place demolished. Good times."
"Yeah. Looks like fun." Bruce rolled his eyes. "Who's up next?"
Tony held up the Iron Man 2 DVD. "I believe all of you will enjoy the next chapter most thoroughly. Isn't that right Thor?"
"No." Thor looked unimpressed. "I have no need of further documentation of your self-obsessed, hedonistic exploits. Let us go to the chronicles of my adventures."
Tony patted through on the shoulder. "Sorry, buddy, my box says '2010.' Yours says '2011.' We gotta go chronologically."
Everyone groaned.
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"I concur with all of you points," Tony began, "but mainly, I just want movie-Banner to beat the living shit out of Reservoir Dogs over there."
HE BE POINTING OUT ALL THE MOVIE REFERENCES I POINTED OUT WHEN I WATCHED THESE YESS.
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The movies only make his ego worse, really. ;)
HE BE POINTING OUT ALL THE MOVIE REFERENCES I POINTED OUT WHEN I WATCHED THESE YESS.
They're just too good to resist.
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*Puppy eyes*
moar?
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