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THIS ROUND IS NOW CLOSED TO NEW PROMPTS.
ROUND FOUR WILL OPEN AT 10PM EST ON MONDAY THE 14TH.
ROUND THREE
closing at 5000 comments
Please read the [rules] before commenting!
REMINDER: THERE IS A SPOILER POLICY IN PLACE UNTIL 7 MAY.
PROMPT FORMATTING:
Alphabetize pairings. They will be archived that way!Put [RPF] before RPF prompts ( Read more... )
After getting over it enough to ask him about it, he starts talking about how much he really likes all of them and how he wishes he could be like them because he knows he's not a hero and how he thinks that Howard would have loved him more if he'd acted more like one of them instead of being the screw-up he views himself as. Tony talks as if he thinks this to be a dream, and that he'll wake up and no one will remember but he still needs to tell them this somehow. Until they shut him up he blathers in various languages about how awesome/perfect/smart/pretty they all are and why did they ever need him anyway?
The Avengers are properly horrified that Tony truly believed so much of what he spewed against his reputation. Surely Howard couldn't have made the billionaire-playboy-genius-philanthropist they all knew and loved into this self-hating ball of cuddling? It's just not right. So they decide to convince him otherwise after the truth serum wears off- some with sex, others with small touches, others with encouraging words, and others by ignoring him after he says something self depreciating. Tony thinks it was all a dream- and therefore is very confused when suddenly everyone is trying to lift him from the rock bottom he'd hit.
+1 Bonus points if who he latched onto first is Natasha!
+10 Bonus points if Peter/Coulson/Deadpool is mentioned/gets involved/drops by.
+100 Bonus points if Thor shares his poptarts with Tony~
Polyamory is highly encouraged!
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just perfect)
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When people stopped shouting, and the dust settled, and Tony and Bruce stood up, skin dark with soot, hair singed, clothes... slightly smouldering, it seemed everything was really okay. The building still stood, their eyes were okay - always wear your goggles, kids - and no one had been injured. No blood, no giant holes in the walls. Just a minor explosion and a major bang.
“Oops?” Bruce said.
Tony gave him a baleful look. “Oops? Oops. Oops is when you level half of Harlem. Oops is when you forget to do your breathing exercises and Hulk crushes the couch when he drops on it to sulk. This... I think this qualifies as ‘My bad’.”
“My bad,” Bruce amended and reached for a broom. “You okay though?”
“Yeah, I’m fi-ouch!”
Tony yanked his hand back from the broken beaker. Blood welled up from a cut and he ran off to stick his fingers under the tap.
“What happened?”
“That sample Fury sent over, that we thought was sodium amytal but wasn’t? Sliced half my hand open on the test tube. Remind me again why we’re using glass and not plastics?”
“I think that one was plastic... hard plastic,” Bruce said, inspecting the sharp edges while Tony swore and tried to see if there were shards of the container still in his wound. Of course, Bruce still wore his gloves, Tony thought sourly. Bruce looked at him. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“My hand hurts like a bitch, my ears are ringing, I feel like an elephant sat on my chest and I’m kinda peckish. Can we order something?” He blinked, rubbed at his fingers where the cut was and blinked again. He was okay, really, just a bit woozy. “I’m a bit woozy,” he murmured.
In the mirror above the sink he saw Bruce stare at him, and then turn his head to stare at whatever it was he held in his hands.
“Um,” Bruce said.
Tony tilted his head and turned around, leaving the tap to run. He absentmindedly wrapped paper around his fingers. The cut wasn’t that deep, it just bled like hell. And he was more interested in Bruce anyway. Bruce who had put his glasses on and angled his head in a very nice pose, as he stared at a broken beaker of... something. Tony felt inclined to help. And comment on how nice Bruce was. Nice looking.
“Has anyone ever told you you’re really attractive for a scientist? I mean, usually they’re not. Except, you know, the cool guys. Cox. Pinker. There's a really handsome geneticist in England, um... can't remember his name... Working on the genome...Those guys.”
Bruce stared at him. “Um. Thank you Tony. I think...” He put the thing he was inspecting down, and reached to take Tony’s arm. “I think you might need a doctor.”
“I’m fine, I told you, just minor aches and pains. Though, if we can go see Doctor Schwartz, that would be nice. He’s hot. He’s got nice hands. And you do too. Have nice hands. Big. Strong. And your arm muscles lately! Wow, do you work out?”
“Yeah,” Bruce sighed. He had a very nice sigh. “Let’s go see Doctor... I think we’ll go see Doctor Andersen.”
“Aw, really? Andersen’s a pain in the rear. And not the good kinda rear-pain, mind you...”
tbc
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Tony, when doped up they discovered, was a very handsy person. Bruce didn’t mind being leaned on, literally, but he called in Natasha anyway, because he had her on speed-dial and she had some sort of speed-transportation straight to Stark Tower. Pepper made the decision via Natasha that Tony was to be kept away from everyone and everything. No CNN, no calling up O’Reilly, no twitter for god’s sake keep him off the twitter.
They congregated in Tony’s living room, Tony spread out on the couch, hugging a pillow.
“So,” Steve said, glancing at Tony who seemed to be staring at... something up in the ceiling. “We just keep him here until this stuff wears off?”
“Pretty much,” Natasha said. She had tea and cookies on the coffee table - Tony had waxed endlessly about there being tea on his coffee table but there had been other things on the coffee table, like his ass and then Pepper when he and she, and then Steve told him to be quiet for a bit. “As long as it wears off...”
“It should. It’s a slightly stronger concentration, and some sort of opiate to, well, you know,” he said, gesturing to where Tony was counting floaters. “Stronger, but more pleasant. And a reagent to introduce it quickly to the host. I have no idea how long it’s going to last though, but it’s not permanent.”
“Okay, and while he’s like this, we need to keep him here. And keep him calm.” Natasha offered some of her tea to the others.
“I prefer these pop-tarts,” Thor said, putting emphasis on the tart part with a grin. Natasha rolled her eyes and gave Tony a cookie since she knew he wouldn’t drink tea if his life depended on it.
“Oh, wow, thank you. Thanks,” he said, pleasantly surprised. He sat up straight and stared at them, almost amazed. “That’s, you guys are the best, really. I mean. Really you are.”
“It’s just a cookie,” Nat said.
Tony spoke through chewing, “But it’s chocolate chip! I don’t think I’ve had these for... ten years? I mean, I’m not supposed to have saturated fats anyway because of the cholesterol and it’s not like the shrapnel makes it easier, but I mean, you just gave me one-”
“Cholesterol?” Steve looked at Tony worriedly. People hadn’t talked about cholesterol when he was young but it seemed to be everywhere these days, and it was killing people. “Are you sick?”
“He’s fine,” Bruce said. “Andersen checked him out.”
“Andersen is a dick and he’s got a very tiny dick to boot. I know, because he gets a hardon every time Bruce walks in the room. Man you should have seen him today when-”
Nat stuffed another cookie in his mouth and Tony refocused completely. He still hadn’t let go of Steve’s arm and ran his fingers up and down the smooth skin. He wasn’t doing anything indecent, he was just handsy. And grabby. When he ran out of cookies he grabbed one from Natasha - fearless, utterly fearless - and latched on to her like a limpet. She squeaked in surprise, and then Tony pressed a messy kiss against her cheek, and murmured, “You’re the best, you really are. You’re so awesome.”
Everyone stared as Nat blushed, and tried not to blush, and then blushed even harder. She was flustered and batted at Tony, who made a sad face and a sadder noise when she managed to escape.
“Okay,” she said when she’d calmed down enough to talk again. “Okay. So we keep him here, do damage control and really, no twitter.”
She gave Tony another cookie, and he gave her that same dopey, happy smile from before, but he still looked a little dejected. Until Steve sat down next to him, and Tony grabbed Steve’s hand and just held it and sat there looking as if he hadn’t a care in the world.
“You guys are just the best. Totally awesome. JARVIS? Can we have You’re the best?”
“No, no Tony that’s really not,” Bruce began but Tina Turner’s voice blasted through the room and there was no stopping the saxophone and electric guitars.
“JARVIS! I think that’s enough now!” Steve shouted over the din, hands over his ears.
“If you forgive me, I have long experience in dealing with Master Stark’s moods. The best way to keep him where you want him, is to keep him entertained. And give in to his demands.”
They all glanced at each other, certain that the AI was doing its best to mess with them. And Tony.
tbc
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Tony you cuddly woobie you! You're making him act even better than I ever hoped for. He's spilling so many little things that he's obviously been failing to mention because he didn't want them to worry, it's killing meeee. NATASHA. Natasha blushing! That is just the- oh my Odin, of course the sweet things are what make her blush when sex can't. Yeah, best to keep him away from Twitter- away from anything that connects to the internet. HE MIGHT START TALKING ABOUT SOMEBODIES ASS OR SOMETHING THAT CAN'T END WELL. Bruce is getting the brunt of the sex remarks though, especially about his body/other peoples reaction to it. I almost feel sorry for him.
“Andersen is a dick and he’s got a very tiny dick to boot. I know, because he gets a hardon every time Bruce walks in the room. Man you should have seen him today when-”
TONY, TONY NO.
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Desperatly hoping for more, seriously, I NEED more cuddlyneedyTony in my life!
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~~~~
Bruce cleared his throat. “It’s probably a good idea if Tony’s confined to just the penthouse. And restrict access to outsiders.”
“It’s already thoroughly restricted, so that’s okay,” Tony said. He’d leaned back against the couch and put his feet up, wiggling them.
“How restricted?” Steve asked.
“Very. Kidnapping threats. Three so far this month, Pepper’s got a spreadsheet, and then there was that nutjob from Paducah, said he was going to shoot me when he came up here in November.”
“...What?” Steve stared at him. Bruce’s jaw had nearly hit the floor. Natasha was very, very still where she stood. Steve looked at at her and did the math. “You knew about this? That he’s got kidnapping threats and some guy threatening to kill him? And you didn’t tell us?”
“It’s public knowledge, Steve,” she said. "Well. That people want to kidnap him is public knowledge."
“It’s okay, Steve,” Tony said, reaching to take hold of his wrist, “Afghanistan wasn’t the first time. You should have seen the security detail I had in school. Try to get a playdate when you’ve got three bruisers checking Tiny Tim’s parents, grandparents and latest visits to the dentist. Not easy. Can I have another cookie?”
"We're out of cookies," Natasha said. Tony frowned, disappointed and began to pick at his shirt.
“Tony...” Steve stared at him and his horror must have shown because Tony, guileless for once, let go of his shirt and leaned in close and smiled and tiny, open smile.
“Hey, it’s okay. I got you guys now, right? I mean, you’re better than any playdate ever. Way better.”
And that, they all thought, was just wrong on so many levels.
Natasha restricted Tony’s access to the elevators and ran through the security protocols, and made sure no one knew of Tony’s little predicament. Thor, when he deigned to show up, had bags of food because Tony’s fridge sorely lacked sustenance.
“I only shop when Pepper’s in. She cooks. I don’t like cooking for myself. It’s pathetic. Also, I burn everything,” Tony said when Steve innocently asked why the fridge was so empty.
They gathered in the kitchen while Thor stocked the fridge, looking frighteningly normal in his jeans and sweatshirt. Tony had wedged himself in between the kitchen island and Thor to get a good look at the contents of the bag. He smiled, rummaged through one and produced pop-tarts, Oreos, and Chips A-hoy! which he held out with a small “ha-ha” noise of triumph.
“So what do you eat then?” Steve asked. Tony shrugged, popped open a few cookies and chewed noisily. He swayed on his feet and looked at Steve through lowered lids.
“Take out, burgers, pizza.”
“I can’t believe you’re still alive on that diet,” Clint blurted out. They jumped, hadn’t seen him or heard him approach, and he smirked. Tony looked at him with his jaw out, hands on his hips, defensive.
“I work out! I try to eat healthy, I just, it’s hard, I mean I..” he trailed off, looking at them and words seemed to be drawn out of him, by force, as if he couldn’t stop them. “I do eat healthy, I eat all my vegetables and I make sure I get proteins and vitamins and everything I need, I’m not slacking off, I’m doing everything I can to stay healthy and not slow down, be a burden. I promise I’m not going to cramp your style, I won’t-”
“Hey, it’s okay. You’re swell,” Clint said, patting him on the shoulder. Tony beamed, a big, bright grin, pure delight. He turned into Clint’s touch, and then Thor slapped Tony on the shoulder as well, jolting him.
“You have impressed us all with your bravery and willingness to to do battle for what is right,” he said.
Tony just stared at him, and his lower lip seemed to wobble a little. He blinked rapidly and stepped back, stumbled. Thor caught him and held him against his chest. Tony curled into his embrace, hands in Thor’s sweatshirt, and drew in a deep, shaky breath.
“Tony?” Natasha asked.
“That... that.. you mean that?” he asked.
Thor looked surprised. “Of course. I would not lie about such a thing.”
“No, no of course not, I’m sorry,” Tony said. He backed up, wiped at his face and sucked in another shaky breath.
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~~~~~~
“Tony?” Natasha repeated. “Are you all right?”
“I’m fine, I’m just... I’m just a guy. I mean, I don’t... I’m not special. I’m the merchant of death, and I’ve probably killed more people than I’ve ever saved, and I partied away half my life, my liver’s shot to hell and I’m not really good at anything.” He looked at them all. “I’m not like you.”
Steve frowned and moved in close. “What do you mean?”
They saw Tony swallow and shrink in on himself, against Thor, even as he turned a hand out towards Steve.
“I’m not a hero. Never have been. I’m just a guy... in a suit. I’m sorry I said that you came out of a bottle, I was angry, and you were right and I just hurt and I lashed out like I always do. Dad was right about you. I know, I read his journals. Even before the super soldier project you always tried to do the right thing. I didn’t. I drank and I partied and sold weapons. I didn’t care. I’m not like you.”
“Tony, that’s not true,” Bruce said quietly, while Steve could only stare at Tony, horrified. “You didn’t know-”
“I sold weapons. I should have known. I should have cared, but I didn’t. I didn’t care...” He trailed off and let go of Thor at last, and stood staring at the slick tiled floor. “I’m a bad person.”
After a moment he moved away from them, out of the kitchen and into the living room. He wasn’t heading for the bar, he stopped in front of the panoramic windows and looked out at the city beneath, hands against the glass, forehead slowly leaning closer. Natasha shook herself and Steve coughed, uncomfortable. Thor looked at his hands and then at Tony.
“Jesus,” Clint murmured. “Tony Stark, stripped.”
“This is really bad,” Natasha said, eyes still on Tony. She wasn’t letting him out of her sight for a minute, not if it meant Pepper coming after her with one of those heels. “His company depends on him, all those people employed by Stark Industries, thousands of contracts around the world, even without the weapons contracts. If he does anything, says anything...” She trailed off. Tony had already said enough. And would probably say a lot more.
“I think right now the only one who has anything to fear from Tony Stark, is Tony Stark,” Bruce said.
They were all silent for a moment, staring at Tony, considering his open state. Bruce had said he was more open to suggestion, but with every innocent admission it another came, escalation, and it became clear just how defenseless Tony was. And even as it did, they were all itching to ask more, to dig, to see just how much Tony would tell them. They had all thought the same thing they had since Bruce had given them his diagnosis, since Tony had begun to spill his dirty little secrets.
Take advantage. They didn’t want to, but they could. Just to see how far they could go.
How much they could find out.
“We’re all assholes,” Clint said.
tbc
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Still, this was more than worth the wait, Nonny! Don't feel pressured, take all the time you need.
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