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THIS ROUND IS NOW CLOSED TO NEW PROMPTS.
ROUND TWO
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Please read the [rules] before commenting!
PROMPT FORMATTING:
Alphabetize pairings. They will be archived that way!
Put [RPF] before RPF prompts.
Put [Crossover] before crossover prompts.
Please use this format: Steve/Tony, Tony needs help adjusting his arc reactor ; ( Read more... )
After they get back, life in the mansion falls into a routine. A really busy routine.
In the morning, Darcy watches Sesame Street.
"Elmo's boring." She says while she pokes at her milk and Cheerios. "'Big Bird's World' would be better. Or 'Grover's World.' Or 'Bert and Ernie's World.'"
Clint looks at her and sighs. "Man, everything went down the tubes when they took Kermit off the show."
She wrinkles her nose and spoons up some cereal. "Who's Kermit?"
Clint groans and drops his head on the table.
*
Later in the morning, they usually start getting visitors, like Miss Pepper or Uncle Phil or Grandpa Nick.
Grandpa Nick is a tall, dark man who wears a black eyepatch and never, ever smiles---probably because he never learned how, Darcy decides.
"Hey, what do you think of this?" She hands him her latest drawing of a giraffe, an octopus, and the sun all smiling together. "It's my masterpiece. Until I think of a new one. Like Uncle Tony and his robots."
He stares at for a few moments. "It's...adequate for your age group."
"Thanks?" She'd have to ask what 'adequate' meant. But she has a more important question. "Um, Grandpa Nick, you're everybody's boss, right?"
"According to the government, yes."
"'Kay. So can you tell everybody to invite me to their pillow fights?"
Grandpa Nick's good eye blinked. "Invite you to their what?"
"Pillow fights. They have them a lot, but not all together. Clint and Natasha have 'em, Uncle Tony and Uncle Steve have some, 'cept when it's Uncle Steve and Uncle Thor, or all three, but their doors are always locked! And me and Bruce are the only ones who don't get to go! And it happens almost every night!"
He sits back in his chair and strokes his chin. "I'll talk to them about this. Today."
Darcy gives him a thumbs up and turns back to her crayons. "Cool! You're awesome, Grandpa Nick!"
"Indeed."
*
But the best is when Mr. Wilson comes to visit. He always wears a red-and-black suit and mask and he usually breaks a window when he shows up. Uncle Thor is the only grown-up who likes him because he's funny. Darcy likes Mr. Wilson because they have tea parties.
"More tea, Princess Helvetica?" he asks, lifting the pink plastic teapot.
"Yes, please, Princess Euphemia," she answers. He poured the water into her cup. "How are your cookies?"
"Excellent, dear, never better." He patted her hand. "Prince Comic Sans is a much better baker than Weasel or Alex. Or Bob. My friends are crappy cooks, come to think of it."
"We can give them his recipes."
Right then, Uncle Thor bounded into the room. "How goes the party, Darcy?"
"Fantastic! But Darcy isn't here. I'm Princess Helvetica."
He bowed his head. "Of course, Princess. I am sorry to interrupt, but the other members of this household have decided that it's time for Deadpool---"
"That's Princess Euphemia, dude." Mr. Wilson took a few more sips of his 'tea.'
"Yes, for Princess Euphemia to leave."
Darcy twisted her face into a pout. "Why?"
"Because he makes them nervous. I am very sorry, Princess Euphemia."
Mr. Wilson stood up. "Nah, it's alright, dude. I get it. I'll see you later, kid." Then he cartwheeled out the door."
"I love it when he does that," Darcy said. Uncle Thor nodded.
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but then there is WADE WILSON & A TEA PARTY. with Princess Helvetica & Prince Comic Sans omfg I can't handle this.
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"I want to figure out how to fix all of this, Darcy," he says, ruffling her hair.
"But nothing's broken," she tells him, brushing his hand away. Then her eyes snap back open and he's in her room. For real.
Darcy sits up in bed. "Who are you?"
He sits down on the edge of the bed and grins. "I'm your Uncle Loki."
"I don't have one of those."
"Yes, you do." His face looks like Uncle Thor's does when he finds fresh pizza. Or cinnamon Pop-Tarts.
Her stomach squirms. "No, I don't. So go away. Your eyes are weird."
"You used to like them."
"Well, now I don't, so get out of my room!" She slaps her hands on the bed.
Uncle Loki just grins again.
"Fine, I'll leave." She grabs her pillow and runs across the hall to Uncle Thor's room. The door's unlocked for once, so she crawls into his bed, waking him up.
"Darcy, what in Odin's name---"
She pulled his covers over her head. "I think there's a monster in my closet. He's annoying."
"Did you tell him to leave?"
"Yes," she said through the sheets and blanket.
"Did you tell him that he would face my wrath if he remained in your room?"
"Um, maybe?" She pokes her head out of the sheets. "It's just better here with you."
Uncle Thor pulls her in close. "Then you can stay here, I suppose. I shall protect you from any nighttime fiend."
She snuggles up against him. "Thank you. You're the best ever."
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You have made my night with this short update, seriously... I am loving this story, and loving how you handle each and every character with their interactions! You even brought in Deadpool!! And Loki... who is still like "i shall solve this but it is fun watching them be vexed by a child"
thank you!!
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Aw, thank you!
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& Grandpa Nick overlords all, and I sense and OT3!! omg, you authoress are amazing!
my first born!
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& Grandpa Nick overlords all, and I sense and OT3!!
Yes! Absolutely!
Wow, I don't think I've ever been offer that before. Also, your icon always makes me smile.
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And thank you! Hemsworth smile is very lovely! And OOOOO, i might just have to read that fic.. i posted a deadpool/darcy prompt here ant at norsekink too
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"You can't go on another mission! YOU CAN'T!!!" Darcy wails as she clings to Uncle Thor's cape.
"But the world needs us, Darcy," he tells her.
"But I need you MORE!!!" She curled her fingers around the red fabric. "And I don't want to go to S.H.I.E.L.D.! They poke me with needles 'cause they say it's good for me!"
"That was once. I am sure that they will not subject you to that again."
"And Uncle Phil is boring. I think he thinks I'm crazy." She dropped her head and shrugged her shoulders up.
"You know he does not think you mad." Uncle Thor kissed her forehead. "If you behave appropriately, we shall play whatever game you wish when we return."
"Even Pretty, Pretty Princess?"
"Yes, even that."
"Okay." Darcy hugged him. "But North Korea sounds like something that makes you go to the bathroom a lot."
*
They drop her off and Uncle Phil is waiting for her. He's wearing sunglasses. He wears sunglasses way too much---Darcy wonders if he's going blind, but she doesn't ask about it because she knows that if he does, he'll have to fill out a lot of paperwork, and it will be all her fault.
He has to do paperwork anyway, so she sits in his office and she reads all her books (okay, she looks at the pictures), and draws in her notebook, and they're still not back.
"They're never coming back ever," she moaned, rubbing her face with her hands.
"That's what you said the last time," Uncle Phil reminds her.
"But this time it's true!"
"Darcy. That's not rational. You know that---" His cell phone rings. "Coulson. Yes, I'll be right there, sir. Just give me one second."
"Duty calls?"
He looks down at her from his desk. "Yes. Now, can you be a good girl for me and stay here? I won't be gone long."
"Mmkay." Darcy nods. After Uncle Phil leaves the office, she listens as his footsteps get quieter and farther away. Then she pokes her head out the door. Nobody around. And somebody forgot to lock the door, she guesses.
She tip-toes out the door. Maybe she fibbed, but now she's not bored, creeping down the hallways and jumping out of everyone's way and hiding behind doors.
She turns a corner about a million hallways away from Uncle Phil's office when she sees Uncle Loki. He's wearing a horned helmet today, and he looks like a shiny mountain goat.
"Darcy, I have something to show you," he whispers loudly, motioning for her to follow him.
Darcy shakes her head and runs in the opposite direction.
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A couple of S.H.I.E.L.D. agents or guards or whatever they were (no one tells her anything) walk through the doors. Darcy holds her breath. They don't even look down at her. But she can feel Uncle Loki still watching her.
She tiptoes through a short corridor into a room with clear walls and lots of white everywhere. She should have brought her crayons with her. Then she notices a poofy-haired old man sitting at a table, playing chess with himself.
"Um, hi," she says. She holds her breath again.
He glares down at her. "You're lost, aren't you?"
"No, I'm Darcy."
"Well, then, Darcy, you must be very clever to sneak past security." He sounds like he's never, ever seen a kid before.
"Nope. Just a good tiptoe-er." She climbs up on the chair opposite him. "I'm hiding from my closet monster."
"Really."
"Uh-huh. He's wearing a mountain-goat helmet." She picks up one of the chess pieces---the queen. "Who are you?"
His face turns all...majestic. Like a king. "Magneto."
"Magneeeeto," she repeats, rolling the queen in her hand. "I like it. It matches your poofy hair."
He raises his eyebrows. "Thank you."
Darcy puts the queen back on the board. "So how do you play this game?"
"It is a game of strategy and will. It divides the weak minds from the strong."
"But how do you play it?"
"Charles, why must you cancel on me?" Magneto mutters as he puts the pieces back in their starting spots. "First you have the pawns, which can jump two spaces on the first move..."
*
Chess is hard. And Magneto is really good. And he really doesn't like homo sapiens, whatever that was.
Darcy has four pieces left on the board: a bishop, a pawn, and her king and queen. "Magneto, why are you in time out?"
"Because homo sapiens does not understand homo superior." He takes her bishop with a rook. Those are her two favorite pieces because they get to slide around when they move. "Check."
"Check what?"
"That means I am in a position to take your king."
"Then I'll just take your rook." Darcy slides her queen into the rook.
"Checkmate." He takes her queen with his own.
"...I lose?"
"Sometimes, a loss brings more wisdom than a win." He looks serene.
Her head droops over the board. "I don't feel wise."
"The feeling comes in time."
She gets out of your chair. "Well, it was fun anyway. See ya later, Magneto." She waves as she walks back through the sliding doors.
"All my best to you, Darcy," Magneto calls to her before the doors shut. "Homo sapiens may have hope yet."
As soon as she walks back into the big hallway, Uncle Loki appears in front of her. How does he do that?
He crouches down to her eye level. "Did you have fun, Darcy?"
She nods. "Kind of."
"Good. Here's what I wanted to show you." He slips an iPod into her hand. "It's yours."
"Um, thanks?"
"I only want to help you, Darcy." Then he just vanishes. She has to learn how he does that.
As soon as he leaves, Uncle Phil walks up to her. "You're in big trouble, young lady."
She pouted her lips. "I'm sorry. I lost at chess, if that makes you feel better." Then she smiled. "But I got an iPod, too!"
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your genius is most excellent.
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