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THIS ROUND IS NOW CLOSED.
ROUND ONE
closing at 3000 comments
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PROMPT FORMATTING:
Alphabetize pairings. They will be archived that way!
Put [RPF] before RPF prompts.
Put [Crossover] before crossover prompts.
Please use this format: Steve/Tony, Tony needs help adjusting his arc reactor ; Clint/Coulson, AU ( Read more... )
“Look like what?” Steve asked, indignant. Clint plunked him down on a plush couch. They were in a much quieter part of the building that had multiple alcoves with empty couches.
“Six imposing feet of chiseled government-inspected meat,” responded Clint. Steve furrowed his brow in confusion. “I know I’m not reading you wrong. Am I reading you wrong?” Clint rubbed his eye, undeniably three sheets to the wind. “No. No I’m not. Anyway, you need to get your act together, Captain.”
Steve snorted. “What? Are you going to coach me?” This was going to be ridiculous.
“Yeah. You need all the help you can get.” Clint made a show of warming up by stretching and jumping in place. He wobbled a bit. “Stand up and I’m going to pretend to be a random guy and talk to you. ‘Kay?” Clint said over his shoulder as he walked toward the center of the room.
Steve stood up at attention. He was actually kind of nervous. He didn’t want to look like a wimp in front of Barton.
“No, not like--just be casual,” Clint directed him. “Lean on the wall or something.” Steve did as he was told and busied himself with cleaning his fingernails. Clint ambled around, mimicking holding a glass and slowly made his way over to Steve and said, “Hey.”
“Is that how every conversation is started?”
Clint was mildly annoyed. “Yes, now play along.”
“Hi.”
“Can I buy you a drink?” Clint gestured as if to hail a bartender.
Steve smiled. “Um, sure.”
“Don’t say ‘um’ too much. A few are endearing. Too many make you sound like a meathead,” Clint commented under his breath. Steve nodded. Clint held out an invisible drink to him and shook it a little when Steve was reluctant to take it. He felt a little foolish.
“Thanks. I’m Steve,” he said and started to stick out his hand, but Clint shook his head slightly.
“Clint. So, you come here often? I don’t think I’ve seen you before.”
“Uh, no. This is my first time.” Steve stared into his invisible glass. “I’m here with some friends, but they’re all pretty drunk. And I‘m not.”
“What a bunch of dicks,” Clint replied with a smirk. He leaned against the wall close enough that their arms almost touched. “Now, at this point a few different things might happen. One of us suggests that we go dance, but I’m not sure how you feel about that.” Steve shook his head. “Okay, well, if you want to try to start a real getting-to-know-you conversation about what you both do or that sort of thing you can go for it. There is a good chance that whoever you’re talking to just wants to have a good time, physically, and will leave.”
Steve frowned. “That’s rude.”
“That’s what happens, though.” Clint shrugged lazily and took a sip of his non-existent drink. “Or, you can start with some light contact,” he put a hand on Steve’s arm and stepped in to talk softly in his ear. “See how the other person feels about it and then either back off or go for it. It doesn’t matter if you’re in the middle of a crowd or in a secluded spot. But I really can’t see you doing that.”
“Have you done this sort of thing for your job?” Steve asked, riveted. Clint leaned against Steve lightly. He smelled like sweat and cheap whiskey. It was actually kind of pleasant.
“Yeah, a few times,” he replied.
“So, what do you say now?”
“Depends. Right now I‘d probably say something like,” he moved his hand to Steve’s waist and tilted his head so his lips brushed Steve’s ear. “I want you to fuck me until I can’t move.” Steve swallowed hard. He felt sort of tingly in a weird way. Clint pulled back, looking at him with heavily lidded eyes. Steve licked his lips and leaned in slowly.
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“Well, you missed Tony dancing to a house remix of ‘Single Ladies’,” Natasha said to Clint with a grin, clearly ignoring the whole situation.
Tony made a beeline for Steve and threw his arm around his shoulders. Steve got a mouthful of pink feathers and silver tinsel from Tony’s boa. “What has he done to you?” Clint rolled his eyes. “He’s bad man. He’s all helpful and nice, and then he takes advantage of you in your car while you’re stopped in a crowded parking lot.”
“I remember that night differently,” Clint interjected.
Tony shot him a disgruntled look over his sunglasses. “He’s a bad man,” he repeated. Suddenly his phone rang, ruining his train of thought. Tony made a face at the screen and shoved it back in his pocket. “Fury. Why can’t that guy just leave us alone? Hey,” he paused befuddled. “When did we lose Banner?”
“He’s trying to get Thor away from those drag queens and I bet he’ll need backup,” Natasha said. “I hope he’s not getting angry.”
Tony started giggling. “Hulk in a gaybar!” he choked out. Steve bewilderedly secured his arm around Tony’s waist and hoisted him enough that he could drag him along. He felt absolutely exhausted as he hauled Tony along behind Clint and Natasha. He kept glancing up at Clint and caught him looking back once. Now what? Steve was completely confused. Is this what people did now? Get drunk and make passes at their co-workers?
Clint tried to say something to Steve at one point, but Tony swung around from Steve’s other side and shooed him away like a drunken mother hen.
Bruce and Thor were sitting at the bar, no sign of Ivana or Eva, both doubled over in laughter.
“Let’s get out of here,” Tony shouted to them over the music. “I caught Clint being lewd to the Captain.”
“Surely the work of my brother. I spied him on the dance floor earlier,” Thor said absolutely certain.
“I am 85% sure that was a drag queen,” responded Bruce.
Tony threw an arm in the air and hollered, “Barkeep!” To Steve’s surprise the bartender heard him over the din and set about ringing up their purchases. Meanwhile, Bruce was teetering and stumbling forward as he got up. Thor burst out laughing again and easily slung him over his shoulder.
Natasha pouted at Clint. “Now I feel left out.” He rolled his eyes, but turned his back to her and held out his arms. She smiled and nimbly hopped on.
“A $452 tab in three hours? Wow,” Tony said, thoroughly impressed as he wrote a barely legible signature on the receipt. Atop her perch, Natasha pointed toward the door, jabbed Clint with her heels, and he took off following her direction. Thor and Steve pursued them.
Being outside was wonderful. Steve felt like he could breathe again. Now he was going to have to worry about not being awkward around Clint and hope Tony wouldn’t remember anything. He sighed. Tony and Bruce were somehow managing to talk about atomic physics despite their severe inebriation.
“Well now what?” Steve asked as they all meandered down the street.
Behind them a car door slammed.
Bruce looked up and froze. “Uh, guys?” Steve, Clint, and Thor hesitantly turned around., their passengers in tow.
“What in the name of Sam Hill is going on here?” Nick Fury bellowed at them.
Oh. Great.
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(More Clint/Steve? *Puppy dog eyes*)
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I'll see what I can get done in the way of more Clint/Steve.
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Is it bad that this is my favorite line out of the entire thing? Other than the last two.
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