"OOhh, you know what?" (Saturday, September 02, 2006 )MS Steal Off
I wanted to let the sand hit my toes on the beach, but today I wasn't on the beach. God knows where my head is at right now. My head is somewhere in the clouds.
Sometimes things get me so mad, but I have to face it. It's just things that people make me realize, and it's so hard and I feels like needles inside.
You don't have to read this, believe me, it's not even important, but I just feel a little hurt. There have been a lot of things going on, but I go through with them as if they were nothing, and carry on with my life as I'm supposed to. I've realized that my head is not where it was 3 years ago, it advance so fast.
It kinda scared the shit out of me, and now it's like a good change.
I'm into anime, but not that much as I use to be anymore. I don't even read much manga anymore. When I use to go to the book store "Barnes&Nobles" I use to run to the manga section and grab every book in there, but now, I'm not doing that anymore.
The only thing that I've been doing now is getting into Philosophy, sex, relationships, health, art, and so and so on. I can go on for days. They're all books, and they're so interesting. I mean, reading a sex book doesn't make you a freak, it just makes you more educated on what the fuck is going on in the world. Like shit, what the fuck have I been missing?
And right after July, something hit me like tons of bricks and that shit just hit me. Like, I swear just a month ago I was liking all these other things, and trying to work on my anime and all this shit. I'm just not doing that anymore.
Don't get me wrong, I still want to work on my art, I love my art. I will always want to have that, and now I've been writing a lot more. I started writing my novel the other day, and it actually sounds pretty good. I love it.
I love how things are turning out, even though sometimes I do get lonely. I'm not going to front that shit does bother me, but you know what, I'm dealing with this because I actually want to be stronger, and I know that I want to deal with this right now because it's just the right thing to do.
I want to be alone right now, as much as it hurts, I want to be alone so I can make sure that I can pull myself through. Only I can hold my own hand, nobody can do that for me. I'm my own fucking back up, you can't back me up. Try it, go right ahead, try and stop me.
Guess what?
You didn't because I went forward...
Damn, I have a powerful headache right now, but I'm still typing.
Just recently, I watched my favorite movie in the world, and it's called "Amelie." No matter what mood I am or in, I fucking love that movie. Like, that movie with no doubt actually makes me happy, and sad, just a little, but at the end she finds love.
Basically it's about, a women that lives on her own, and works as a waitress at this really nice resturant and she is a do-gooder. Meaning, she likes to help people. Basically this thing changed her life, she found this mans treasure box from 40 years ago, and she wanted to find it and return it to him. She found it by accident in her apartment, it was hidden in a wall somewhere, and she wanted to return it to this man. Basically she likes to help people's messy lives, but no one can fix her messy life, until she finds this guy and falls in love with him. So, she sends him riddles on how to find her and everything.
It's a cute movie, just fucking buy it-rent it, whatever, and FUCKING WATCH IT!!
yeah, that movie is awesome and is very cool. Very Artsy. I notice how artsy I can be. I notice about me that I love old ware houses, like, this shit really does surprize me. I'm getting more and more into sceanary ( I cant spell) Theres a couple of things I'm getting for myself, and Im getting a camera(like a real photography camera)not that other shit you see for taking pictures, and I'm going to learn how to use it to. :P
Not only that, sometimes I get tired of writing, so I wanted to buy a tape recorder and start recording my feelings on it. I don't really see or hear a lot of people doing that. I'm pretty sure a lot of people do that, but I never hear about it, except for movies or....books
Speaking of books I bought this new book the other day called "The Womens Guide To Sex." and that book is so awesome. I didn't finish reading it yet, but I don't want to yet because then I might have to find another book to read and...momma don't have any money right now. lol. Momma brokee.
Hmm, what else, shit, I'm tired, and...and I don't know.
I saw my mom the other day, I took a trip to her house and we talked for 3 hrs. I love my mom a lot, that hug from her really did ease my day and made me feel good. Theres nothing like a mothers hugs, lol. Soooo cheezy like that! lol.
I'm out I'm tired and I have so much to say, but I'm cutting it short, later thesbians!
The Mother fucking ChipMunk Love!
:P
Sometimes things get me so mad, but I have to face it. It's just things that people make me realize, and it's so hard and I feels like needles inside.
You don't have to read this, believe me, it's not even important, but I just feel a little hurt. There have been a lot of things going on, but I go through with them as if they were nothing, and carry on with my life as I'm supposed to. I've realized that my head is not where it was 3 years ago, it advance so fast.
It kinda scared the shit out of me, and now it's like a good change.
I'm into anime, but not that much as I use to be anymore. I don't even read much manga anymore. When I use to go to the book store "Barnes&Nobles" I use to run to the manga section and grab every book in there, but now, I'm not doing that anymore.
The only thing that I've been doing now is getting into Philosophy, sex, relationships, health, art, and so and so on. I can go on for days. They're all books, and they're so interesting. I mean, reading a sex book doesn't make you a freak, it just makes you more educated on what the fuck is going on in the world. Like shit, what the fuck have I been missing?
And right after July, something hit me like tons of bricks and that shit just hit me. Like, I swear just a month ago I was liking all these other things, and trying to work on my anime and all this shit. I'm just not doing that anymore.
Don't get me wrong, I still want to work on my art, I love my art. I will always want to have that, and now I've been writing a lot more. I started writing my novel the other day, and it actually sounds pretty good. I love it.
I love how things are turning out, even though sometimes I do get lonely. I'm not going to front that shit does bother me, but you know what, I'm dealing with this because I actually want to be stronger, and I know that I want to deal with this right now because it's just the right thing to do.
I want to be alone right now, as much as it hurts, I want to be alone so I can make sure that I can pull myself through. Only I can hold my own hand, nobody can do that for me. I'm my own fucking back up, you can't back me up. Try it, go right ahead, try and stop me.
Guess what?
You didn't because I went forward...
Damn, I have a powerful headache right now, but I'm still typing.
Just recently, I watched my favorite movie in the world, and it's called "Amelie." No matter what mood I am or in, I fucking love that movie. Like, that movie with no doubt actually makes me happy, and sad, just a little, but at the end she finds love.
Basically it's about, a women that lives on her own, and works as a waitress at this really nice resturant and she is a do-gooder. Meaning, she likes to help people. Basically this thing changed her life, she found this mans treasure box from 40 years ago, and she wanted to find it and return it to him. She found it by accident in her apartment, it was hidden in a wall somewhere, and she wanted to return it to this man. Basically she likes to help people's messy lives, but no one can fix her messy life, until she finds this guy and falls in love with him. So, she sends him riddles on how to find her and everything.
It's a cute movie, just fucking buy it-rent it, whatever, and FUCKING WATCH IT!!
yeah, that movie is awesome and is very cool. Very Artsy. I notice how artsy I can be. I notice about me that I love old ware houses, like, this shit really does surprize me. I'm getting more and more into sceanary ( I cant spell) Theres a couple of things I'm getting for myself, and Im getting a camera(like a real photography camera)not that other shit you see for taking pictures, and I'm going to learn how to use it to. :P
Not only that, sometimes I get tired of writing, so I wanted to buy a tape recorder and start recording my feelings on it. I don't really see or hear a lot of people doing that. I'm pretty sure a lot of people do that, but I never hear about it, except for movies or....books
Speaking of books I bought this new book the other day called "The Womens Guide To Sex." and that book is so awesome. I didn't finish reading it yet, but I don't want to yet because then I might have to find another book to read and...momma don't have any money right now. lol. Momma brokee.
Hmm, what else, shit, I'm tired, and...and I don't know.
I saw my mom the other day, I took a trip to her house and we talked for 3 hrs. I love my mom a lot, that hug from her really did ease my day and made me feel good. Theres nothing like a mothers hugs, lol. Soooo cheezy like that! lol.
I'm out I'm tired and I have so much to say, but I'm cutting it short, later thesbians!
The Mother fucking ChipMunk Love!
:P