National Coming Out Day
Hello, my name is Stephanie, and I play in Gay Band. (The Minnesota Freedom Band, to be precise, but I am an alum of the Blazing River Freedom Band and I have also marched with the gay bands in Rochester and Chicago.)
I'm not posting this because I'm trying to say that marching in (8!) gay pride parades (plus four AIDS walks!) somehow means I have magic insight into Life As A Person Of Non-Hetero Sexuality and/or Non-Conforming Gender. I don't. I do not know what it's like to be not-straight, as I reek of Straight (I didn't used to, but funny how a .78 ct diamond changes all that stuff). No one has mistaken me for anything other than my birth gender and sex since I was about six (and that was only because I was wearing a brown coat) which matches what my brain says my gender and sex are.
What I'm trying to say, though, is that guess what? Being LGBTTQQSSIIAADCPPMO* (or FABGLITTER, or QUILTBAG, whatever your acronym of choice is) is not only about sex. Someone announcing that zie is, say, bisexual, is not tantamount to yelling about hir sex life, no more than me wearing a wedding ring in public or having a ton of pictures of my wedding on Facebook. (Which I do.)
Do we talk about sex in gay band? No. Well, okay, people make raunchy jokes when the director says something like, "Well, saxophones, you'll just have to learn how to tongue faster." But we made those jokes in high school band, and I'm pretty sure that no one would contend that my high school band was some sort of gay band. (I mean, it certainly wasn't sponsored by the LGBA. Never mind that the director was queer, and never mind what other people thought of being in high school marching band.)
Even for people who don't claim a queer political identity, being non-hetero isn't just about sex. It's also about companionship, and love, and all those other things. (There's a Supreme Court case on point; I can provide the relevant quote and citation if necessary.) We can get caught up in the fact that 'homosexual' and 'bisexual' have the word 'sex' in them, but it's basically shorthand for 'homoromantic/homosexual' or 'biromantic/bisexual' (although there are, of course, people who are homoromantic but bisexual or heteroromantic but bisexual or asexual but biromantic or whatever; they don't have to match).
Anyway. Happy National Coming Out Day. I'm a straight supporter/ally, and principal second flute in the Minnesota Freedom Band. Come to a concert: you'll see that it's really just a group where we play music and don't really worry about whether playing too many show tunes makes us look queer. (a.) SHOW TUNES ARE AWESOME. b.) This concert is actually mostly straight-up classical music. Like the Barber of Seville Overture. FTW!)
*Now I can't remember C. Lesbian, Gay, Bi, Transgendered, Transvestite, Queer, Questioning, Straight Supporter, Intersex, Inquiring, Ally, Asexual, Demisexual (new!), (C), Pansexual, Polysexual, Multisexual, Omnisexual.
I'm not posting this because I'm trying to say that marching in (8!) gay pride parades (plus four AIDS walks!) somehow means I have magic insight into Life As A Person Of Non-Hetero Sexuality and/or Non-Conforming Gender. I don't. I do not know what it's like to be not-straight, as I reek of Straight (I didn't used to, but funny how a .78 ct diamond changes all that stuff). No one has mistaken me for anything other than my birth gender and sex since I was about six (and that was only because I was wearing a brown coat) which matches what my brain says my gender and sex are.
What I'm trying to say, though, is that guess what? Being LGBTTQQSSIIAADCPPMO* (or FABGLITTER, or QUILTBAG, whatever your acronym of choice is) is not only about sex. Someone announcing that zie is, say, bisexual, is not tantamount to yelling about hir sex life, no more than me wearing a wedding ring in public or having a ton of pictures of my wedding on Facebook. (Which I do.)
Do we talk about sex in gay band? No. Well, okay, people make raunchy jokes when the director says something like, "Well, saxophones, you'll just have to learn how to tongue faster." But we made those jokes in high school band, and I'm pretty sure that no one would contend that my high school band was some sort of gay band. (I mean, it certainly wasn't sponsored by the LGBA. Never mind that the director was queer, and never mind what other people thought of being in high school marching band.)
Even for people who don't claim a queer political identity, being non-hetero isn't just about sex. It's also about companionship, and love, and all those other things. (There's a Supreme Court case on point; I can provide the relevant quote and citation if necessary.) We can get caught up in the fact that 'homosexual' and 'bisexual' have the word 'sex' in them, but it's basically shorthand for 'homoromantic/homosexual' or 'biromantic/bisexual' (although there are, of course, people who are homoromantic but bisexual or heteroromantic but bisexual or asexual but biromantic or whatever; they don't have to match).
Anyway. Happy National Coming Out Day. I'm a straight supporter/ally, and principal second flute in the Minnesota Freedom Band. Come to a concert: you'll see that it's really just a group where we play music and don't really worry about whether playing too many show tunes makes us look queer. (a.) SHOW TUNES ARE AWESOME. b.) This concert is actually mostly straight-up classical music. Like the Barber of Seville Overture. FTW!)
*Now I can't remember C. Lesbian, Gay, Bi, Transgendered, Transvestite, Queer, Questioning, Straight Supporter, Intersex, Inquiring, Ally, Asexual, Demisexual (new!), (C), Pansexual, Polysexual, Multisexual, Omnisexual.