I love the GRINCH!!

[avelone]

and nope I'm not talking about the furry, green Grinch...I have my very own Grinch--named Eric! Eric absolutely hates all things bright and shiney and pre-lit during this magical holiday season. He puts the Bah in Bah Humbug. The Screw in Scrooge!!! Every time we pass someone who has gone over-board decorating their house, Eric is compelled to mutter "asshole". So I knew when I declared that last night we (meaning me with the help of a dash of Eric's sarcasm) would be decorating for Christmas, that Eric was gonna complain. So in anticipation, I bought Eric one of his favorite types of beer and cooked one of his favorite of my meals!!! After dinner, I reminded him that we were gonna start decorating cuz I've already waited a WHOLE WEEK!!!! Well, immediately Eric started to bitch about not decorating...blah blah blah. I ignored it cuz I was in the HOLIDAY SPIRIT DAMNIT!!! I WOULD DECORATE!!! I pull out all the boxes from the storage closet--including my pre-lit tree that my parents bought me a few years ago. All the while Eric is moaning and groaning about how we could do this TOMORROW when he was off (FYI he wakes up at 6 am on Saturdays to work at the coffee shop, not my definition of OFF)....We slowly start assembling the pre-lit 6.5' foot tree, positioning branches and plugging in the different sections...Well just as we are finished with the assembly, we discover that the tree can not go in it's usual spot by the window because it will block Eric's comfy leather chair (this chair has just been put in the living room and is Eric's FAVORITE piece of furniture EVER) so I have to accept that the tree CAN NOT go in it's traditional spot (and we all know how well I do with change of any kind).....So I stiff upper lip the situation and concede to placing the tree in the corner, telling myself that I will be to decorate the widow including buying stocking hangers to hang our stocking ups on the window ledge. So strike one against decorating......Anywho I continue on in my quest to decorate, having Eric relocate the tree to the corner parallel to the TV and across from the couch. Then disaster strikes---I plug in my reliable old tree and 3/4ths of the tree's pre-lit lights are no longer pre-lit....the damn thing is busted!!! And Eric begins bitching in earnest about how he DOES NOT want to fuddle with finding a single burnt out bulb on a string buried in a damn tree...blah blah blah. I silently agree with Eric's frustration, but damnit I WANNA DECORATE MY TREE!!!! So we set about trying to locate the loose bulb or whatever the problem is with the tree....We try to isolate what portion of the tree doesn't work so I take the top 1/3 of the tree off and plug it in independently--and IT DOESN"T WORK! I then suggest maybe the fuses are blown and Eric bitches while changing the fuses, but nope the damn thing is DONE DONE DONE!! My lovely pre-lit tree that my parents bought me is now just a plain old tree.....My dejection is palpable. And Eric immediately goes into spin control mode. He knows how much I love Christmas and how much I love decorating, so he starts suggesting we just buy lights to go on the tree (which seemed a bit silly to me, since you would see both unlit and lit lights on this tree) OR he suggested we just go and get a real tree. I've never gotten a real tree of my very own, so I had Eric call his mom and see when they were going to get their tree. As luck would have it, Mrs. Mary said that Whole Foods has some sorta deal on trees--a 4ft for $25 or a 7ft for $50. I told Eric I wanted the big one (not that surprising since the dead tree is 6.5ft). Eric assured me that we could go with his mom and get our very own real tree. And that he would happily string up the lights. Since I couldn't go all Martha Stewart on my tree, I contented myself with putting up my tinsel garland and the glitter mistletoe (Eric only bitched alittle about trying to hang garland using tacks on a stud wall, but I didn't really take it to heart cuz he did such a good job). I then shared my plan about decorating the now de-nuded window and Eric very sweetly agreed that my idea was excellent and that if Santa did exist he would surely come through the window, meaning my placement of stockings would be perfect!

So in the end, my very own personal Grinch was forced into becoming a Santa's helper due to the disaster of my tree's treachery!