ive nearly abandoned LJ, but id like you to read this
Friday night goes without saying, those words should be said more often. On a different note my ancient anxiety, has, unfortunately returned. boohoo. and on thAT evoking note i embark on a futile tangent (nice vocab, huh? maybe?). as of recently i have been emotionly numb, which is something i desired so much until recently, when i realized how uninterested and presumably how uninteresting i had become. i acctualy sat down, and tried to figure things out, i even made up some bull shit reasons, like... "maybe i've been using computers to much" hahaha, but before i could figure myself out anxiety reared it familair face. my first reaction was releif. i was releived that i had some sensitivity about me but the liberation did not last. which brings me to my current state. when i came to the conclusion that total euphoria is almost impossible to attain, and that i have to live with the proposal that euphoria is nothing more than a period of time in which you must bring about, and that will undoubtedly end without warning. the proposition stands until i have myself figured out. i realize how unattractive all this random and pointless sulking is, but i assure you it wont last.
matt xoxo
matt xoxo