(no subject)
I'm finding myself spontaneously crying right now - why does it hurt to see other people move on, and having fun :S
I think maybe I should increase my dose back to what it was when I felt all numb inside, at least then I didn't feel this and I couldn't cry. I can just see me getting worse like this, becoming more and more depressed, and isolated - practically am already. No matter how much I try I really can't maintain relationships with anyone, maybe there is an underlying pathology, not just depression, perhaps I have a problem empathising, externalising it. I don't intend on being harsh to people, or appearing like I don't don't care, but seems I can interpreted that way - I often have no real knowledge or personal interest in the area (not the person), and I feel stupid to just ask question all the time, and have nothing interesting or worthy to add.
I think maybe I should increase my dose back to what it was when I felt all numb inside, at least then I didn't feel this and I couldn't cry. I can just see me getting worse like this, becoming more and more depressed, and isolated - practically am already. No matter how much I try I really can't maintain relationships with anyone, maybe there is an underlying pathology, not just depression, perhaps I have a problem empathising, externalising it. I don't intend on being harsh to people, or appearing like I don't don't care, but seems I can interpreted that way - I often have no real knowledge or personal interest in the area (not the person), and I feel stupid to just ask question all the time, and have nothing interesting or worthy to add.