Merry Fucking ChristX
Worry is a misuse of imagination.
-- Dan Zadra
In giving advice, seek to help, not please, your friend.
-- Solon
My mother is my enemy. She does not know it, but she is. She is bringing the Jihad. She bore me; she trained me. She is my enemy.
--Paul, in the book Dune, by Frank Herber
12-Year-Old Howard: But why can't I play with my puppets?
Ben Stern: Shut up, ya know why!
--Private Parts (1997)
So, it's the middle of December as I write this. The big fuss going on lately seems to be the "Merry Christmas" vs. "Happy Holidays" thing. I was going to write an entry all about this a few days ago, but my beloved Beth wrote one, and I think it's well worth your time. Make sure you check out HER livejournal after you read mine. She's artful_wench.
Whilst about our travels yesterday, we actually saw a gas station with the sign "We say MERRY CHRISTMAS here". They should get another one that says "FUCK JEWS!" Now, I'm not Jewish, but I'm not Christian, either. There are a ton of holidays in December, enough that everybody can have one. I mean, even if you're a Athiest, you still get New Year's Eve. And what Athiest doesn't like drinking? That's right, none of 'em.
Now that we've come up with a name for our potential cat, Barrister, Beth's decided she's not all gung-ho about getting a new one. I don't really care either way. I know that another cat'll show up eventually, and, until then, I'm trying really hard to get Aricin to learn things. She's no smarter than she is pretty.
I don't have an amazing amount of things to write about today. I was sick for awhile, then better for like 2 days, then I had a relapse. I JUST ABOUT lost my voice for the first time, today. It's just fortunate that I had 3 days off of work, since I'm trying really hard not to call off again for awhile. I got called into the office a few months ago, and bitched out about taking too many days off. It was a really petty thing, and the reason I was in that office had nothing to do with the number of days I'd been sick, but I think I chose not to go into it then, and I really don't want to reopen the wound right now...
The fact that I'm incapable of forgiving anyone for any transgressions against me is well-documented.
So, on Wedensday, Beth and I had off together. That rarely happens, and I wanted to come home from work, unwind for a few minutes (watching the newest Justice League thanks to Sheraza), take a shower, and head to Chattanooga by 8 in the am. First problem, Beth's work said that her sick note from the doctor's office was invalid because the nurse stamped it instead of having the doctor sign it. Because of this, she had to go back to the doctor's office, which didn't open till 8:30. "Fine," I said to myself. "If they're going to be dicks, I've got time to watch the next episode of Smallville on my list. Motherfuckers won't stop us from going to Chattanooga. Noone will stop us! Bah wah ha ha." Or, something like that.
Beth got her note, and it began to rain. Rock City's not really any fun in the rain. I figured that, if it didn't let up, we'd at least get to see the aquarium, and maybe see "King Kong" but I really wanted to spend the whole day walking around my second-favorite town in the world, and I wanted to see Rock City at night, with the lights up in celebration of the slaughter of y'all's savior.
So, we started out, eventually, in good spirits. I was still sickish, and a bit dizzy, but that was all good. In preperation for the journey, I took my shot of dayquil equivilant instead of nyquil equivilant. I have two bottles of each sitting on the stove for just such choices. Then, Beth wanted me to sit behind the wheel of the car with my foot on the break, so she could check the turn-signals. I did so, and explained to her that I never would be a driver, because even the act of doing that really hurt my knees. I've got bad knees, in case you're new. It's an army thing. Maybe, sometime, I'll retell that damn story. Not today, though.
It turned out that neither turn-signal was working at all, so Beth told me to go back inside whilst she took the vehical to her Pa's house to look at it. That's her grandfather. My grandfather was "Poppy" for some reason, which I BELIEVE is because of lolipops he'd bring me when he visited. The other grandfather, my mom's ex-husband's, was called "Ken." I don't think I would have been able to call him anything else. I went back inside, and tried to stay awake. I was already pretty damn tired, and had gotten permission from Beth to sleep in the vehical on the way to Chattanooga. I was also damn hungry, but figured I could hold off till 10:30, the magical time in the morning when the fast food joints decide we can buy hamburgers instead of sausage biscuts. You know, they're really shitty about that, with all the overnight workers around.
When Beth came back, I think I was nodding off at the computer. I can't remember exactly what I was trying to concentrate on, but it was most likely the Dune audio book. I tried to get into it a couple of times previously, but I could not. I need to acquire the book. I own some version of the movie, as part of the "Other Aaron" incident, another story I need to tell y'all some time, but I've never seen it. After I get through the book, I'll watch the long version of the movie, I suppose.
But, that's neither here nor there. Beth told me that the blinkers would need replaced, and we needed to go to Pa's mechanic to get it done. Pa said to just put it on his tab, and, since the place was on the way, we didn't feel so bad. Also, it was now closer to 10:30, the magical time I could acquire a double cheeseburger and McChicken from the dollar menu at McDonalds. I put them together, sitting two bun halves aside, and consume them with joy. With that combo, you get beef(give or take), chicken (or chicken-like animal, since everything tastes like chicken), katsup, mayonaise, pickles, and lettuce all at once. It's quite lovely. So, without eating so much as a snack, we took off for the mechanic's. We got placed in amazingly uncomfortable chairs, whilst someone took a look at the signals.
Now, I nodded in and out of blissful slumber, totally devoid of dreams, or even real knowledge I was doing so. The only reason I know I even slept at all is because the clock kept jumping. Also, I didn't get to hear the mechanic telling us that the blinkers weren't the problem, and they had to rewire some shit or other. All-in-all, we were there almost 2 hours. My arm, hand, ass, throat, and eyes were all in pain by the end of it. My knees hurt too, but my knees always hurt, unless I take a double-serving of liquid tylonal. You know, the John Denver and the Muppets Christmas special is alot suckier than you could imagine. The CD is one of my favorites from my youth, and I cherish it still, but the songs in the special are far different, and lame as shit. The one going on now is "May I have the Pleasure of your Company." Yeah, I haven't heard of it either...
Beth just got back from her outing with her friend from work. They had to work till 10:15, then they went out to Applebees. Apparently, it took forever for them to get served because there was a dance at West (I assume a school) and Applebees was packed. Then, they ran to Wal-Mart to get me orange juice, since it was the only place open. So, now it's 12:49, and I've just put my beloved and the cats to bed. I've got a Chicken Jalapeno burger on my one side, and sub-standard (but bought with love) orange juice on the other. That doesn't make this Christmas special suck less, but I can't really enjoy the Dune audiobook when I'm trying to write.
So, Beth and I, Wedensday, eventually got on the road. I fell asleep a couple of more times on the way, and I was getting SOOOO hungry. We stopped and grabbed a quick bite to eat, my burger/chicken dealie, I think, but I can't honestly remember for sure, so that we'd still be hungry in Chattanooga. Last time, we ate at Sticky Fingers, so I told Beth we could eat at her favorite, The Tortilla Factory. I really like it, too. They've got pretty much the best Mexican I've had. They kick El Rodeo's arse. The rain was comming and going, and it was a bit chilly out. At least we didn't have snow. We got to the aquarium, and it was practically deserted. That fact pretty much immediately made up for any adverse things that came during our trials to get there. I LOVE the aquarium. It's not the best in the world, by far, but it's pretty damn good, and we've been to see it like 6 times, I think. We've got year-long tickets, and we're sure getting our money's worth out of them. I'm sure, in June, we'll get another pair. Beth and I just seem to be able to really, really enjoy each other's company in a dimmly-lit, spacious building full of cute animals. They have the dangerous ones, such as jellyfish and snakes, as well as the ones you can pet; sturgeons and wussy sharks. There's a room for butterflies, which we were in ALONE! During this trip, we actually got to see a pair of partridges. I don't know if they're always in the butterfly room, but just too timid to come out when it's full of people, or if they're a new addition, but they were just wonderful. They really seemed to like me, lol. Yeah, I said "lol." I get that from playing Magic Online. I went so long without playing, but I've gotten back into it over the last three days. But, I'll mention that later. Back to the aquarium....
We really enjoyed ourselves. It is always good fun to go to the aquarium, but I enjoy going with Beth the most. I wish we could get around to seeing some museums and other places. We ate at The Tortilla factory after the first building in the aquarium, and before the second. By the time we got through, it was well after six pm in Chattanooga. Beth was getting tired, I was exhausted, and it was still cold and wet, so we decided not to go to Rock City, after all. I hope we get to go before the end of the year, to see the lights. We dropped into the Ben and Jerry's next to the aquarium. It was my first time inside, I think, and it was pretty dang good.
Beth agreed to see "King Kong" but I decided that I loved her too much to make her sit through 3 hours of a movie she didn't want to see. Bobby, whom I work with, said something about going with me tonight, but if he showed up, it was while I was asleep...
Well, the Applebees burger was alright. I prefer Ruby Tuesdays, which is across the street. Of course, it was nice of Beth to bring me anything, since I declined to go with her and her friend from work. Now, where were we in our story? Ah, so I stayed up after we got home, after getting all that nap-time in. I'd already agreed to go over to Beth's grandparents's house for a "Christmas-esq" dinner on Thursday. They wanted to do it on Wedensday, but they actually changed it when I told Beth we weren't missing Chattanooga to go. Awfully nice of them, doncha think? Well, Beth had to work, and I promised to get some sleep, and be awake and ready by the time she got home at six pm. I played a TON of online Magic, using the cards I already had, since I'm trying REALLY hard not to spend any more money on magic cards that don't really exist. I got a bit of sleep, and woke up with one hell of a sore throat. We went to Pa's house, and there was an additional guest there. Beth's mum brought her best friend, and she seemed pretty nice. Apparently, she didn't have any family still around, so she was eating with us. Also, Beth's cousin, who her parents pretty much raise, was there, but he wasn't as annoying as usual, for some reason.
The meal was very Southern, with ham, dressing (like stuffing made into a soup-like thing, with huge chunks of chicken), macaronie and cheese (a vegetable down here) mashed potatoes and home-grown green beans. I ate a full plate, but kept getting pressured to eat even more. I declied repeatedly, though I praised the dressing, ensuring that I'd be considered "friendly" by the definition of Southern custom. Mind, I did like the dressing, I didn't just say I did. But, if I hadn't mentioned that I liked the dressing, they'd have thought I was being "ugly" since I didn't eat additional servings. Also, I didn't eat desert, reminding them that I had just awakened.
It wasn't a bad gathering at all, which I believe is mostly due to the fact that Beth's sister wasn't there. I was just sleepy enough that I could be nice to everyone, without being so sleepy as to be edgy. It's prolly how the millions on Prozac feel, I'd wager.
Because they wanted to have "Christmas" on the 15th, we explained we couldn't really get the grandparents gifts, since it was time to pay the rent and the bills, and Beth had missed four days of work, and spent the rest of the money she made this paycheck on the doctor's visit and Keflex. Beth's grandparents don't work, and only have the money comming in that they get because they're old, so we agreed not to really worry about gifts either way. Beth and I each got 25 bucks, anyway, so that was nice. We rushed off to Wal-Mart so I could buy Magic cards... Yeah, I'm sad. We quite enjoyed trampsing about the place, with it being late enoough that the lines wouldn't be TOOOO bad, but early enough that my co-workers weren't there yet. They were having their "Christmas" party, too, that night, and I didn't want to be dragged back there. I was plesantly full already, and there was a spare plate of dressing waiting for me for when I got hungry again. Beth didn't buy any clothing, though it was fun looking. I just missed being near her, with us not having much time off together where we're awake together, also, and not fighting.
I got like seven packs of Ravnica, two of which had rares I didn't have yet, so that was nice. I also picked up this Lord of the Rings keychain designed to hold cards. Beth heard me saying how much I wanted one, and picked one up for me, too. Neither of us realized the other had gotten one. It was so funny in the car, when we learned that we both got one. The cards inside were random, so I got 64 different ones, 2 Smigols (Fuck Dobby) and 2 of the promo card, Liv Tyler....
So, that was Thursday in a nutshell. Today, Friday, I didn't do much of anything usefull. The internet was down for many hours, so I watched "Private Parts" for the first time, on television. Unlike other movies, they do not cut out a single scene, they just put bars up over the acts you aren't allowed to see, i.e., nudity, sexual touching, drug use, and a girl blowing a sausage. There are a million curse words beeped out, and present-day Howard comes in about 8 times to interrupt the movie with commentary. It was actually cute, and I'll pick up the DVD if both versions are on it. I tried to pick up some stuff in my room, but gave up after a bit. When the net came back up, I played some more Magic, and got back into my old habit of surfing snapsoid for pictures of interest to me. I came across a website with ammusing nerd t-shirts, and one dedicated to hating clowns, in T-shirt form.
I've got the images for y'all, so you'll have something to gleem over, or bitch about if you've got a shitty connection....
So, that's what's comming next, and also, last.
Walk in light, peeps...
I'll talk to you again soon, but in case I don't get to it in the next week, have a happy holiday, whichever one you've got comming to you. Just remember one thing; Jesus, whether he's a boy or a girl or a black peep or a white peep, is in no way a Capricorn, so he couldn't be born in the last week of December. Now, Marduk...that's a fucking Capricorn....
(READ A BOOK!)
That's "My Personal Robot Jesus" Anyone who's seen Star Wars knows just how much this little guy did to save Luke's ass. And did Luke do anything to say "thanks"? No. He should have agreed with the credo of one of the funniest Starballz characters; If I'm gonna fuck a trash can, I'm gonna fuck it in the ass! Which brings us, quite nicely, to the next shirt.
And, with Brittany Spears monkeying about with her old stuff (can you BELIEVE she's been around long enough to have "old" stuff?), there's THIS shirt...
And, being an 80's whore, I'm fond of anything with this logo on it:
All my homies will want this one, I'm sure...
Now, it's important to remember that everything a monkey tells you is a lie. Monkies are bad people, son, and so are you... See, if you add a 'k' to money, you get monkey. Monkeys can't work, so they can't ever pay their dues. They can't even speak, so they never tell the truth. See, monkeys are bad people, and so are you....
But, I digress
I laughed my ass off at this one, because it made me think of my good buddy Jason. Jason, where the hell are you stationed? Let me know, cuz I forget. YOU, my friend, are ten ninjas...
This one SOOO suits me. "Jesus helps me to trick people." It makes me think about this girl I work with, Colleen, who really enjoys my company, and has no idea what I think about Christianity. Someone at work told her I'm an athiest (I'm not, not even close) and Colleen said "He can't be an athiest or a satanist. He's too smart." Imagine, only dumb people are non-Christians. Doesn't that just make it easier for everyone? If you're not in our religion, it's cuz you're dumb. You're shaking your head. You figure that that's not how Christians think. Not really, right? Yeah. Ask a Native American about the poor ignorant savages that the white man came over here to educate. Or, if you want a modern-day example, find yourself some missionaries, who are spreading North American diseases all across Africa.
This is also a good slogan, but the chick's bald. Sorry 'bout that....
The rest of these are from an anti-clown t-shirt site. Now, they're not against clown t-shirts, they're against clowns, and tell you via t-shirts. I think clowns are as creepy as all hell, but I'm a Batman fan, so that might be at fault. I'm not afraid of them, as my old-school pal Ben "Russell" Nice always was (I don't like him, so I'll use his whole and real name. The bit in quotations, that's what he called his penis) but I don't like them. My mother loves or loved them, and there are or were a million of them in the house. "Not the littlest Hobo" Yeah, that was just for Beth...
Now, some shirts...
That "Can't sleep, Clown will eat me" is a Simpsons quote. I really like that one, and might pick a shirt up if they've got one where the print's in some bloody font.
I'd also actually pay money for the one with the 20-sided die on it, but when the hell would I wear it? To work, I wear either a grey "Wal-Mart" shirt, or an orange "Cart Crew" shirt, depending on whether I'm in a bright or subdued mood. When not at work, since i don't sit around naked anymore, I wear one-color t-shirts with nothing on them. I do own a Tommy Hillfinger shirt, thanks to Beth's mom, and I wear it when I'm feeling "I love Beth's Mom"-like.
Now, that's like 19 images, and I know I should end the entry there...
But, let me look and see if something else I've put into my 'bucket lately might be cute enough to share before I save this...
Oh, importante'! My mentor, John, has a website dedicated to music, especially odd music. Now, by odd, I mean odd to Americans, such as music from..well, anywhere but America. When I was very young, he introduced me to the Jew's Harp. He tried to get me to play it and I always felt bad I couldn't do so. I did, anyway, until I learned that I couldn't play ANY instrument or learn a single note, so not learning the Jew's Harp isn't that bad. Here's what one looks like:
If you saw the Charlie Brown special where he has to go to a spelling bee, this is the instrument that Snoopy plays to help Charlie Brown learn the mnemonics and such. I downloaded a podcast or something with like an hour of John playing the thing and talking about it, and Beth sat here, paying rapt attention. Now she really wants one. Beth's the musical part of our ka-tet. John, if you're reading this, let me know where I can acquire a really good one, cuz I'm gonna get her one, but I'd like to get her something high-quality... Also, I just wanted you to know you've got someone listening to your mp3s...
John's afore-mentioned site is, right now, mostly just a blog of his near-infinite wisdom, with free mp3s from around the world. The blog is http://www.thoughtsongs.com/tsblog/ and you should only go there if you don't suck big floppy donkey-dick. So, no Wane...
I just realized that picture of a Jew's Harp is going to turn into an X the next time I play with my Photobucket, because I didn't put it in a folder yet. So, if, for some sick reason, you want to keep it, save it now. I'll post it again later, I'm sure...
Okay, I'll let you go now....after a few Dork Tower comic strips... I'm just kidding. I'll save them for some other time. Oh, and speaking of comics, since I have like a thousand of them on the computer, thank you Sheraza, I'm going to be putting a few choice ones in an open photobucket account, entitled avatarofshadow_II. I know, not very creative, but it's easy to remember....
http://photobucket.com/albums/d155/avatarofshadow_II/ is where you can find it, and it'll be Batman stuff, unless I get any requests. I'm really loving the Secret Files stuff, which does a short story, then one-page biographies of current characters. Batman Allies Secret Files is up already. I'm also going to do some of the BEST graphic novels, including Batman: The Killing Joke (the best thing out there) and X-Men, God Loves Man Kills, a MUST read because it's where the idea for X-Men II came from. This nutjob priest (not a soldier) named Stryker wants to kill all mutants, and only the X-Men's greatest enemy, Magneto, can help them take care of business. I'm supposed to tell you that if you look at them online you're supposed to buy the real ones, btw. That's crap, though. I mean, you all saw pictures of Amsterdam (my cat, not the country) on this journal, and not one of you motherfuckers felt the need to run out and buy him. I'll never understand this crap... Well, nonetheless, feel free to drop by there. When I post more comics, I'll let you know...
Chris, Aaron, Bigby, I hope your new DND adventure's going well... Remember, just because you have the spell components for Mordenkinin's Faithful Watchdog, it doesn't mean you actually cast the spell. Not even if you have grey eyes....
-- Dan Zadra
In giving advice, seek to help, not please, your friend.
-- Solon
My mother is my enemy. She does not know it, but she is. She is bringing the Jihad. She bore me; she trained me. She is my enemy.
--Paul, in the book Dune, by Frank Herber
12-Year-Old Howard: But why can't I play with my puppets?
Ben Stern: Shut up, ya know why!
--Private Parts (1997)
So, it's the middle of December as I write this. The big fuss going on lately seems to be the "Merry Christmas" vs. "Happy Holidays" thing. I was going to write an entry all about this a few days ago, but my beloved Beth wrote one, and I think it's well worth your time. Make sure you check out HER livejournal after you read mine. She's artful_wench.
Whilst about our travels yesterday, we actually saw a gas station with the sign "We say MERRY CHRISTMAS here". They should get another one that says "FUCK JEWS!" Now, I'm not Jewish, but I'm not Christian, either. There are a ton of holidays in December, enough that everybody can have one. I mean, even if you're a Athiest, you still get New Year's Eve. And what Athiest doesn't like drinking? That's right, none of 'em.
Now that we've come up with a name for our potential cat, Barrister, Beth's decided she's not all gung-ho about getting a new one. I don't really care either way. I know that another cat'll show up eventually, and, until then, I'm trying really hard to get Aricin to learn things. She's no smarter than she is pretty.
I don't have an amazing amount of things to write about today. I was sick for awhile, then better for like 2 days, then I had a relapse. I JUST ABOUT lost my voice for the first time, today. It's just fortunate that I had 3 days off of work, since I'm trying really hard not to call off again for awhile. I got called into the office a few months ago, and bitched out about taking too many days off. It was a really petty thing, and the reason I was in that office had nothing to do with the number of days I'd been sick, but I think I chose not to go into it then, and I really don't want to reopen the wound right now...
The fact that I'm incapable of forgiving anyone for any transgressions against me is well-documented.
So, on Wedensday, Beth and I had off together. That rarely happens, and I wanted to come home from work, unwind for a few minutes (watching the newest Justice League thanks to Sheraza), take a shower, and head to Chattanooga by 8 in the am. First problem, Beth's work said that her sick note from the doctor's office was invalid because the nurse stamped it instead of having the doctor sign it. Because of this, she had to go back to the doctor's office, which didn't open till 8:30. "Fine," I said to myself. "If they're going to be dicks, I've got time to watch the next episode of Smallville on my list. Motherfuckers won't stop us from going to Chattanooga. Noone will stop us! Bah wah ha ha." Or, something like that.
Beth got her note, and it began to rain. Rock City's not really any fun in the rain. I figured that, if it didn't let up, we'd at least get to see the aquarium, and maybe see "King Kong" but I really wanted to spend the whole day walking around my second-favorite town in the world, and I wanted to see Rock City at night, with the lights up in celebration of the slaughter of y'all's savior.
So, we started out, eventually, in good spirits. I was still sickish, and a bit dizzy, but that was all good. In preperation for the journey, I took my shot of dayquil equivilant instead of nyquil equivilant. I have two bottles of each sitting on the stove for just such choices. Then, Beth wanted me to sit behind the wheel of the car with my foot on the break, so she could check the turn-signals. I did so, and explained to her that I never would be a driver, because even the act of doing that really hurt my knees. I've got bad knees, in case you're new. It's an army thing. Maybe, sometime, I'll retell that damn story. Not today, though.
It turned out that neither turn-signal was working at all, so Beth told me to go back inside whilst she took the vehical to her Pa's house to look at it. That's her grandfather. My grandfather was "Poppy" for some reason, which I BELIEVE is because of lolipops he'd bring me when he visited. The other grandfather, my mom's ex-husband's, was called "Ken." I don't think I would have been able to call him anything else. I went back inside, and tried to stay awake. I was already pretty damn tired, and had gotten permission from Beth to sleep in the vehical on the way to Chattanooga. I was also damn hungry, but figured I could hold off till 10:30, the magical time in the morning when the fast food joints decide we can buy hamburgers instead of sausage biscuts. You know, they're really shitty about that, with all the overnight workers around.
When Beth came back, I think I was nodding off at the computer. I can't remember exactly what I was trying to concentrate on, but it was most likely the Dune audio book. I tried to get into it a couple of times previously, but I could not. I need to acquire the book. I own some version of the movie, as part of the "Other Aaron" incident, another story I need to tell y'all some time, but I've never seen it. After I get through the book, I'll watch the long version of the movie, I suppose.
But, that's neither here nor there. Beth told me that the blinkers would need replaced, and we needed to go to Pa's mechanic to get it done. Pa said to just put it on his tab, and, since the place was on the way, we didn't feel so bad. Also, it was now closer to 10:30, the magical time I could acquire a double cheeseburger and McChicken from the dollar menu at McDonalds. I put them together, sitting two bun halves aside, and consume them with joy. With that combo, you get beef(give or take), chicken (or chicken-like animal, since everything tastes like chicken), katsup, mayonaise, pickles, and lettuce all at once. It's quite lovely. So, without eating so much as a snack, we took off for the mechanic's. We got placed in amazingly uncomfortable chairs, whilst someone took a look at the signals.
Now, I nodded in and out of blissful slumber, totally devoid of dreams, or even real knowledge I was doing so. The only reason I know I even slept at all is because the clock kept jumping. Also, I didn't get to hear the mechanic telling us that the blinkers weren't the problem, and they had to rewire some shit or other. All-in-all, we were there almost 2 hours. My arm, hand, ass, throat, and eyes were all in pain by the end of it. My knees hurt too, but my knees always hurt, unless I take a double-serving of liquid tylonal. You know, the John Denver and the Muppets Christmas special is alot suckier than you could imagine. The CD is one of my favorites from my youth, and I cherish it still, but the songs in the special are far different, and lame as shit. The one going on now is "May I have the Pleasure of your Company." Yeah, I haven't heard of it either...
Beth just got back from her outing with her friend from work. They had to work till 10:15, then they went out to Applebees. Apparently, it took forever for them to get served because there was a dance at West (I assume a school) and Applebees was packed. Then, they ran to Wal-Mart to get me orange juice, since it was the only place open. So, now it's 12:49, and I've just put my beloved and the cats to bed. I've got a Chicken Jalapeno burger on my one side, and sub-standard (but bought with love) orange juice on the other. That doesn't make this Christmas special suck less, but I can't really enjoy the Dune audiobook when I'm trying to write.
So, Beth and I, Wedensday, eventually got on the road. I fell asleep a couple of more times on the way, and I was getting SOOOO hungry. We stopped and grabbed a quick bite to eat, my burger/chicken dealie, I think, but I can't honestly remember for sure, so that we'd still be hungry in Chattanooga. Last time, we ate at Sticky Fingers, so I told Beth we could eat at her favorite, The Tortilla Factory. I really like it, too. They've got pretty much the best Mexican I've had. They kick El Rodeo's arse. The rain was comming and going, and it was a bit chilly out. At least we didn't have snow. We got to the aquarium, and it was practically deserted. That fact pretty much immediately made up for any adverse things that came during our trials to get there. I LOVE the aquarium. It's not the best in the world, by far, but it's pretty damn good, and we've been to see it like 6 times, I think. We've got year-long tickets, and we're sure getting our money's worth out of them. I'm sure, in June, we'll get another pair. Beth and I just seem to be able to really, really enjoy each other's company in a dimmly-lit, spacious building full of cute animals. They have the dangerous ones, such as jellyfish and snakes, as well as the ones you can pet; sturgeons and wussy sharks. There's a room for butterflies, which we were in ALONE! During this trip, we actually got to see a pair of partridges. I don't know if they're always in the butterfly room, but just too timid to come out when it's full of people, or if they're a new addition, but they were just wonderful. They really seemed to like me, lol. Yeah, I said "lol." I get that from playing Magic Online. I went so long without playing, but I've gotten back into it over the last three days. But, I'll mention that later. Back to the aquarium....
We really enjoyed ourselves. It is always good fun to go to the aquarium, but I enjoy going with Beth the most. I wish we could get around to seeing some museums and other places. We ate at The Tortilla factory after the first building in the aquarium, and before the second. By the time we got through, it was well after six pm in Chattanooga. Beth was getting tired, I was exhausted, and it was still cold and wet, so we decided not to go to Rock City, after all. I hope we get to go before the end of the year, to see the lights. We dropped into the Ben and Jerry's next to the aquarium. It was my first time inside, I think, and it was pretty dang good.
Beth agreed to see "King Kong" but I decided that I loved her too much to make her sit through 3 hours of a movie she didn't want to see. Bobby, whom I work with, said something about going with me tonight, but if he showed up, it was while I was asleep...
Well, the Applebees burger was alright. I prefer Ruby Tuesdays, which is across the street. Of course, it was nice of Beth to bring me anything, since I declined to go with her and her friend from work. Now, where were we in our story? Ah, so I stayed up after we got home, after getting all that nap-time in. I'd already agreed to go over to Beth's grandparents's house for a "Christmas-esq" dinner on Thursday. They wanted to do it on Wedensday, but they actually changed it when I told Beth we weren't missing Chattanooga to go. Awfully nice of them, doncha think? Well, Beth had to work, and I promised to get some sleep, and be awake and ready by the time she got home at six pm. I played a TON of online Magic, using the cards I already had, since I'm trying REALLY hard not to spend any more money on magic cards that don't really exist. I got a bit of sleep, and woke up with one hell of a sore throat. We went to Pa's house, and there was an additional guest there. Beth's mum brought her best friend, and she seemed pretty nice. Apparently, she didn't have any family still around, so she was eating with us. Also, Beth's cousin, who her parents pretty much raise, was there, but he wasn't as annoying as usual, for some reason.
The meal was very Southern, with ham, dressing (like stuffing made into a soup-like thing, with huge chunks of chicken), macaronie and cheese (a vegetable down here) mashed potatoes and home-grown green beans. I ate a full plate, but kept getting pressured to eat even more. I declied repeatedly, though I praised the dressing, ensuring that I'd be considered "friendly" by the definition of Southern custom. Mind, I did like the dressing, I didn't just say I did. But, if I hadn't mentioned that I liked the dressing, they'd have thought I was being "ugly" since I didn't eat additional servings. Also, I didn't eat desert, reminding them that I had just awakened.
It wasn't a bad gathering at all, which I believe is mostly due to the fact that Beth's sister wasn't there. I was just sleepy enough that I could be nice to everyone, without being so sleepy as to be edgy. It's prolly how the millions on Prozac feel, I'd wager.
Because they wanted to have "Christmas" on the 15th, we explained we couldn't really get the grandparents gifts, since it was time to pay the rent and the bills, and Beth had missed four days of work, and spent the rest of the money she made this paycheck on the doctor's visit and Keflex. Beth's grandparents don't work, and only have the money comming in that they get because they're old, so we agreed not to really worry about gifts either way. Beth and I each got 25 bucks, anyway, so that was nice. We rushed off to Wal-Mart so I could buy Magic cards... Yeah, I'm sad. We quite enjoyed trampsing about the place, with it being late enoough that the lines wouldn't be TOOOO bad, but early enough that my co-workers weren't there yet. They were having their "Christmas" party, too, that night, and I didn't want to be dragged back there. I was plesantly full already, and there was a spare plate of dressing waiting for me for when I got hungry again. Beth didn't buy any clothing, though it was fun looking. I just missed being near her, with us not having much time off together where we're awake together, also, and not fighting.
I got like seven packs of Ravnica, two of which had rares I didn't have yet, so that was nice. I also picked up this Lord of the Rings keychain designed to hold cards. Beth heard me saying how much I wanted one, and picked one up for me, too. Neither of us realized the other had gotten one. It was so funny in the car, when we learned that we both got one. The cards inside were random, so I got 64 different ones, 2 Smigols (Fuck Dobby) and 2 of the promo card, Liv Tyler....
So, that was Thursday in a nutshell. Today, Friday, I didn't do much of anything usefull. The internet was down for many hours, so I watched "Private Parts" for the first time, on television. Unlike other movies, they do not cut out a single scene, they just put bars up over the acts you aren't allowed to see, i.e., nudity, sexual touching, drug use, and a girl blowing a sausage. There are a million curse words beeped out, and present-day Howard comes in about 8 times to interrupt the movie with commentary. It was actually cute, and I'll pick up the DVD if both versions are on it. I tried to pick up some stuff in my room, but gave up after a bit. When the net came back up, I played some more Magic, and got back into my old habit of surfing snapsoid for pictures of interest to me. I came across a website with ammusing nerd t-shirts, and one dedicated to hating clowns, in T-shirt form.
I've got the images for y'all, so you'll have something to gleem over, or bitch about if you've got a shitty connection....
So, that's what's comming next, and also, last.
Walk in light, peeps...
I'll talk to you again soon, but in case I don't get to it in the next week, have a happy holiday, whichever one you've got comming to you. Just remember one thing; Jesus, whether he's a boy or a girl or a black peep or a white peep, is in no way a Capricorn, so he couldn't be born in the last week of December. Now, Marduk...that's a fucking Capricorn....
(READ A BOOK!)
That's "My Personal Robot Jesus" Anyone who's seen Star Wars knows just how much this little guy did to save Luke's ass. And did Luke do anything to say "thanks"? No. He should have agreed with the credo of one of the funniest Starballz characters; If I'm gonna fuck a trash can, I'm gonna fuck it in the ass! Which brings us, quite nicely, to the next shirt.
And, with Brittany Spears monkeying about with her old stuff (can you BELIEVE she's been around long enough to have "old" stuff?), there's THIS shirt...
And, being an 80's whore, I'm fond of anything with this logo on it:
All my homies will want this one, I'm sure...
Now, it's important to remember that everything a monkey tells you is a lie. Monkies are bad people, son, and so are you... See, if you add a 'k' to money, you get monkey. Monkeys can't work, so they can't ever pay their dues. They can't even speak, so they never tell the truth. See, monkeys are bad people, and so are you....
But, I digress
I laughed my ass off at this one, because it made me think of my good buddy Jason. Jason, where the hell are you stationed? Let me know, cuz I forget. YOU, my friend, are ten ninjas...
This one SOOO suits me. "Jesus helps me to trick people." It makes me think about this girl I work with, Colleen, who really enjoys my company, and has no idea what I think about Christianity. Someone at work told her I'm an athiest (I'm not, not even close) and Colleen said "He can't be an athiest or a satanist. He's too smart." Imagine, only dumb people are non-Christians. Doesn't that just make it easier for everyone? If you're not in our religion, it's cuz you're dumb. You're shaking your head. You figure that that's not how Christians think. Not really, right? Yeah. Ask a Native American about the poor ignorant savages that the white man came over here to educate. Or, if you want a modern-day example, find yourself some missionaries, who are spreading North American diseases all across Africa.
This is also a good slogan, but the chick's bald. Sorry 'bout that....
The rest of these are from an anti-clown t-shirt site. Now, they're not against clown t-shirts, they're against clowns, and tell you via t-shirts. I think clowns are as creepy as all hell, but I'm a Batman fan, so that might be at fault. I'm not afraid of them, as my old-school pal Ben "Russell" Nice always was (I don't like him, so I'll use his whole and real name. The bit in quotations, that's what he called his penis) but I don't like them. My mother loves or loved them, and there are or were a million of them in the house. "Not the littlest Hobo" Yeah, that was just for Beth...
Now, some shirts...
That "Can't sleep, Clown will eat me" is a Simpsons quote. I really like that one, and might pick a shirt up if they've got one where the print's in some bloody font.
I'd also actually pay money for the one with the 20-sided die on it, but when the hell would I wear it? To work, I wear either a grey "Wal-Mart" shirt, or an orange "Cart Crew" shirt, depending on whether I'm in a bright or subdued mood. When not at work, since i don't sit around naked anymore, I wear one-color t-shirts with nothing on them. I do own a Tommy Hillfinger shirt, thanks to Beth's mom, and I wear it when I'm feeling "I love Beth's Mom"-like.
Now, that's like 19 images, and I know I should end the entry there...
But, let me look and see if something else I've put into my 'bucket lately might be cute enough to share before I save this...
Oh, importante'! My mentor, John, has a website dedicated to music, especially odd music. Now, by odd, I mean odd to Americans, such as music from..well, anywhere but America. When I was very young, he introduced me to the Jew's Harp. He tried to get me to play it and I always felt bad I couldn't do so. I did, anyway, until I learned that I couldn't play ANY instrument or learn a single note, so not learning the Jew's Harp isn't that bad. Here's what one looks like:
If you saw the Charlie Brown special where he has to go to a spelling bee, this is the instrument that Snoopy plays to help Charlie Brown learn the mnemonics and such. I downloaded a podcast or something with like an hour of John playing the thing and talking about it, and Beth sat here, paying rapt attention. Now she really wants one. Beth's the musical part of our ka-tet. John, if you're reading this, let me know where I can acquire a really good one, cuz I'm gonna get her one, but I'd like to get her something high-quality... Also, I just wanted you to know you've got someone listening to your mp3s...
John's afore-mentioned site is, right now, mostly just a blog of his near-infinite wisdom, with free mp3s from around the world. The blog is http://www.thoughtsongs.com/tsblog/ and you should only go there if you don't suck big floppy donkey-dick. So, no Wane...
I just realized that picture of a Jew's Harp is going to turn into an X the next time I play with my Photobucket, because I didn't put it in a folder yet. So, if, for some sick reason, you want to keep it, save it now. I'll post it again later, I'm sure...
Okay, I'll let you go now....after a few Dork Tower comic strips... I'm just kidding. I'll save them for some other time. Oh, and speaking of comics, since I have like a thousand of them on the computer, thank you Sheraza, I'm going to be putting a few choice ones in an open photobucket account, entitled avatarofshadow_II. I know, not very creative, but it's easy to remember....
http://photobucket.com/albums/d155/avatarofshadow_II/ is where you can find it, and it'll be Batman stuff, unless I get any requests. I'm really loving the Secret Files stuff, which does a short story, then one-page biographies of current characters. Batman Allies Secret Files is up already. I'm also going to do some of the BEST graphic novels, including Batman: The Killing Joke (the best thing out there) and X-Men, God Loves Man Kills, a MUST read because it's where the idea for X-Men II came from. This nutjob priest (not a soldier) named Stryker wants to kill all mutants, and only the X-Men's greatest enemy, Magneto, can help them take care of business. I'm supposed to tell you that if you look at them online you're supposed to buy the real ones, btw. That's crap, though. I mean, you all saw pictures of Amsterdam (my cat, not the country) on this journal, and not one of you motherfuckers felt the need to run out and buy him. I'll never understand this crap... Well, nonetheless, feel free to drop by there. When I post more comics, I'll let you know...
Chris, Aaron, Bigby, I hope your new DND adventure's going well... Remember, just because you have the spell components for Mordenkinin's Faithful Watchdog, it doesn't mean you actually cast the spell. Not even if you have grey eyes....