Walk

[avocado_love]

Prompt: #  Dreams of Flying by teamabodo 
Title: Walk
Author: cantareincminor
Rating: G
Word Count: 5040
Warnings/Pairings: None
Summary: Let's take a walk, he said simply. You could be healed, if you wanted.
Notes: Apologies if this feels rushed; I broke the word limit :)
*****

Comments

<3

[teamabodo]

Of all my art I submitted, I was most worried about this one. I wasn't sure if anyone would pick it, if Teo was popular enough to be picked etc etc etc.

So I'm super happy that you picked this and didn't make direct references to the picture or the title of the pic. It wasn't really meant to be directly infulencial anyway. On a different note, I had completely forgotten about the Spirit Oasis and that Teo could be cured! But I think Teo would have turned the offer down in that situation as well. Not sure if he wasn't a role model for disabled children. It's and interesting situation.

It did feel rushed in places, and I totally get why if you tried to wrap it up before you broke the limit. It felt a little flat in places too, but I'm betting that came from the effects of being rushed. Nothing that couldn't be fixed after the exhaustion of Writing Competitions has worn off!

Great job ~<3

Re: <3

[cantareincminor]

Thanks! After a bit of time passes I might go back to this and make it longer in the places where it seems rushed.

I originally had another, darker story idea for this prompt but realized that there was a 5000 word limit and the idea wouldn't have fit. I hope to get to that one too and will let you know if I post it.

I really like Teo and think it's interesting the way Avatar portrays people with disabilities. While Toph is clearly the disability superpower, Teo is more an average kid with an upbeat attitude and a good heart. That said, I hope I didn't make him too mature in this story, he's only 21 after all.

[vynessia361]

Teo is adorable and awesome. Overall, it was a really interesting idea, and you explored it well.

That said, I was under the impression that Toph's foot-sight works through earthbending. Therefore, she wouldn't be able to anything in a city made out of ice, no matter how awesome the shoes are.

[cantareincminor]

Thanks!

Didn't realize that point about Toph. She did say she was basically blind when walking on wood. I will have to cover for that in the revision with some kind of explanation.

[alpha_hydra]

This is a great story! I love how Teo was really mature and how you really put a lot of thought into what had been going on in the world after the war. Teo is spot-on with his should-I shouldn't-I angst too :)

I chose this same prompt, and it's interesting to me how completely different our takes on the artwork are. Now I feel all self-conscious about my own contribution :P

But anyway, great job; this was a great contribution to the big bang!

[cantareincminor]

Thanks a lot! I was afraid I made Teo a little too mature, but I like him that way, haha.

I look forward to seeing your story! It's great that it's different :)

[cantareincminor]

Thanks for the feedback! I've been interested in disability for a while so I found it a great exercise to write from Teo's perspective with this prompt.

Really glad you liked this story! As I mentioned in another comment, I was afraid I made Teo too mature. Glad you found him believable.

[seserakh]

I like this a lot. It has a cool evenness to the writing that gently frames the complexity of the decision that Teo has to make. It's good that you made sure to illustrate that it wasn't an easy decision by any means, which is a pitfall that traps a lot of fanfictions (and fictions, to be quite honest) featuring disabled people. I liked the way yo wrote Teo as well! A little reserved, cheerful, honest, and still a bit confused about what he wants out of life. Thank you for writing!

[cantareincminor]

Sorry for the late response! Thanks a lot for the comments, I'm glad you liked the style. Portraying people with disabilities is always a sensitive thing and I hope I did Teo justice.
Reading over this again, I almost want to ship Teo with Katara!