I need to rant
(WARNING: Incoherent emo stuff ahead. Turn back now while you can. May also contain strong language, but I'll do my best to keep it to a minimum.)
*sigh*
I hate being the only person in my entire family who's single. Makes family gatherings that much more depressing.
And I hate when they try to cheer me up with a bunch of cliches, such as, "Oh, there are plenty of fish in the sea." (Yeah I'm not looking for fish. Duh!) "Oh, don't worry, you'll find a girl soon. Trust me." (ORLY? Easy for you to be that optimistic as you're happily cuddling on the couch, while I've been flying solo for over FOUR YEARS now! Hypocrites!) and the one I hate the most: "Oh, well, you really shouldn't be basing your happiness on something like that." (Wow, more hypocrisy. And how the hell do you know how I'm built emotionally or what my aspirations are? Just because it's not important to you, doesn't mean it's not important to me. Gah, now I feel lonely and guilty. Get out of my sight!)
And then there are those goddamn annoying workplace couples, always pushing their chairs together and cuddling and kissing and being all lovey dovey... in the cafeteria during lunch hour! Can't keep my lunch down for very long in there. Why, why, why can't they conduct their goddamn relationships at home?! While I'm at work, already a depressing place as it is, do I really need a depressing reminder of what I've been missing in the past four years?! I KNOW, I GET IT, ENOUGH ALREADY!
Heh, I'm glad I have a car, so I don't have to put up with that shit on buses and trains anymore. Too bad it still happens in line-ups for banks, food, etc.
Hey wait! I think I know of a perfect refuge for a lonely videogame geek to hide away and forget such troubles: The Arcade! Let's go there! You'd think so, eh? Think again! Turns out the few arcades that exist anymore are total couples' love boat paradises. Games like DDR and (insert random racing game here) are games you play with your significant other, and the pool tables in the next room are treated as though they are beds in a Japanese love hotel (and unfortunately, no, I'm NOT kidding). So, the only way I can have fun in a place like this is to hide in the corner and play Guilty Gear by myself against the computer. Might as well do that at home.
Just play games at home. That's OK, I guess. Protip: When you're depressed out of loneliness, stay the fuck away from any of Nintendo's RPGs... or any RPGs for that matter.
Sound like a jerk, don't I? Sorry, but all these years of being a "nice guy" and getting nothing but pain for it kinda does that to a guy. I just really don't feel like being nice to people anymore. I get *nothing* out of it, and just get ignored / pushed over / used as a doormat / taken advantage of / backstabbed / heartbroken / any or all of the above.
Sometimes I wish I was someone more attractive and desirable. If I had to trade 20-30 of my IQ points for even a slight increase in my Charisma score, I would do it with no questions asked, because it seems as though that gets you much farther in life than, for instance, knowing a bunch of random trivia, or being able to solve that puzzle a few seconds faster. I'm very envious of all the smooth-talking extroverts out there who have all the friends (and relationships) in the world, and would gladly trade places with them, even if it means taking their Neanderthal mentality with it.
Sorry about this ranting, folks. I tried to hide behind a mask, pretending everything was alright, putting on a show, but... I just can't hide how I'm really feeling anymore. I know I'm probably going to lose a few friends and alienate myself from a few family members in the process. Now go ahead, say it. Say what you mean to say, I can take it.
~Z
*sigh*
I hate being the only person in my entire family who's single. Makes family gatherings that much more depressing.
And I hate when they try to cheer me up with a bunch of cliches, such as, "Oh, there are plenty of fish in the sea." (Yeah I'm not looking for fish. Duh!) "Oh, don't worry, you'll find a girl soon. Trust me." (ORLY? Easy for you to be that optimistic as you're happily cuddling on the couch, while I've been flying solo for over FOUR YEARS now! Hypocrites!) and the one I hate the most: "Oh, well, you really shouldn't be basing your happiness on something like that." (Wow, more hypocrisy. And how the hell do you know how I'm built emotionally or what my aspirations are? Just because it's not important to you, doesn't mean it's not important to me. Gah, now I feel lonely and guilty. Get out of my sight!)
And then there are those goddamn annoying workplace couples, always pushing their chairs together and cuddling and kissing and being all lovey dovey... in the cafeteria during lunch hour! Can't keep my lunch down for very long in there. Why, why, why can't they conduct their goddamn relationships at home?! While I'm at work, already a depressing place as it is, do I really need a depressing reminder of what I've been missing in the past four years?! I KNOW, I GET IT, ENOUGH ALREADY!
Heh, I'm glad I have a car, so I don't have to put up with that shit on buses and trains anymore. Too bad it still happens in line-ups for banks, food, etc.
Hey wait! I think I know of a perfect refuge for a lonely videogame geek to hide away and forget such troubles: The Arcade! Let's go there! You'd think so, eh? Think again! Turns out the few arcades that exist anymore are total couples' love boat paradises. Games like DDR and (insert random racing game here) are games you play with your significant other, and the pool tables in the next room are treated as though they are beds in a Japanese love hotel (and unfortunately, no, I'm NOT kidding). So, the only way I can have fun in a place like this is to hide in the corner and play Guilty Gear by myself against the computer. Might as well do that at home.
Just play games at home. That's OK, I guess. Protip: When you're depressed out of loneliness, stay the fuck away from any of Nintendo's RPGs... or any RPGs for that matter.
Sound like a jerk, don't I? Sorry, but all these years of being a "nice guy" and getting nothing but pain for it kinda does that to a guy. I just really don't feel like being nice to people anymore. I get *nothing* out of it, and just get ignored / pushed over / used as a doormat / taken advantage of / backstabbed / heartbroken / any or all of the above.
Sometimes I wish I was someone more attractive and desirable. If I had to trade 20-30 of my IQ points for even a slight increase in my Charisma score, I would do it with no questions asked, because it seems as though that gets you much farther in life than, for instance, knowing a bunch of random trivia, or being able to solve that puzzle a few seconds faster. I'm very envious of all the smooth-talking extroverts out there who have all the friends (and relationships) in the world, and would gladly trade places with them, even if it means taking their Neanderthal mentality with it.
Sorry about this ranting, folks. I tried to hide behind a mask, pretending everything was alright, putting on a show, but... I just can't hide how I'm really feeling anymore. I know I'm probably going to lose a few friends and alienate myself from a few family members in the process. Now go ahead, say it. Say what you mean to say, I can take it.
~Z