This is going to seem really random, but I think you'd make a great match with young!Avatar Roku. He fits a lot of your preferences, but I think would be more mature and caring and dependable than someone like Zuko, who was the other character I was thinking of as a possibility. When he was younger Roku was really shy, but in that cute, endearing way, and as he grew older he grew way more balanced in the introvert/extrovert area. He's also very passionate and loves and hates very deeply. He's straightforward and certainly doesn't sugar-coat things, but at the same time he's not completely tactless. As the Avatar, he's neither a leader nor a follower, but goes out on his own and does what he feels is best. And he's realistic and only opens up to those he's close to. I feel like he'd enjoy your ideal date and would really love your 'most important thing in a relationship' answer. Overall, I think he's got a lot in common with you, but would still be different enough to keep things interesting.
Realistic, passionate, not brutally honest to the point of hurting feelings, protective, ... sarcastic even? I do believe I must say Sokka. He's definitely the type to cheer you up without being overly showy as well; he does this with both Yue and Suki at points. He has a bit of an ego, but not an extensive one to the point it'd annoy you, and I can picture him enjoying your night out. He'd be more than able to put up with your negative traits as well, and maybe even appreciate them as many of those terms can apply to his past interests.
You know, I really think halcyon_queen is onto something with her vote. I probably wouldn't have considered him right off, but young!Avatar Roku does seem like a nice match for you, and I feel more comfortable voting him than I do Sokka, who was my other thought. It was mainly the brutal honesty thing. Sometimes I think he can be pretty harsh with it, and I can't imagine you dealing with that very well. Roku really matches what you mentioned finding attractive (though I can't recall if he is sarcastic at all, but he may have had his moments off-screen if nothing else). It was everything else you specified, really, that had me wanting to lean more towards Roku.
I do agree with halcyon_queen's suggestion of Young!Avatar Roku! I saw Sokka as well but I think Roku is a better fit. In his younger days, he was more reserved and fits your this or that section quite well. He is also certainly passionate and would not be overly clingy.
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