Motel Hell

[avasa_edan]

She took him away. Away to protect him. Far away. Away from the terrible place. The plants, the crawling flesh. The voices. The people. So many people.

Not many people here. He feels himself trying to crawl back, he gets there more now. Can't make it yet, no, not yet.

Quiet here. Room to breathe.

She’s wrong too. Knows more than she should

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[avasa_edan]

I catch a glimpse of what her life is like. She helps because she can, it's in her Power. She has no thought of reward, or anything remotely selfish. She's pure. What a rare thing.

Her smile makes me smile, "Is there nothing I can give you?"

[cassie_newton_]

My smile gets a little sad at that, and I think I remember what I wanted to find. A way to get around the other part of this. The crush that I seem to keep coming back to, that I can't do anything about. "No...I don't think so." I say, and back a few steps away from him.

[avasa_edan]

A darkness settles in the dream, the faint music begins to rise. I can hear it now. Ballroom music. A gust of wind picks up and she pulls away from me, releasing my hands.

"No, wait!" She backs up into the darkness. I blink.

I'm back in Sunnydale. I remember looking for something, but can't quite remember what. "Cassie?"

[cassie_newton_]

I look around as everything gets darker, and it's better and worse at the same time. I can hear Avasa calling for me but I'm not sure where he is. I was looking for something...but I can't remember what. There's music playing and I shut my eyes, swaying to it, twirling in a circle, the heavy velvet ball gown's skirt swaying out and making a swirl of color in the dark. Like my hair, all the little colorful streaks I put in every day. Something feels strange here....like something's out of control, somethings off...like the music's one note off key...something.

[avasa_edan]

I can hear music coming from up ahead, I follow it into a building, I find a light switch and flick it on. The building's exterior looked rundown, but the interior was something else entirely. Large and luxurious. I walk through closed doors to find Cassie, dancing on a stage. Lost in her own world. Twirling.

[cassie_newton_]

I'm dancing, dancing like I did when I was a little girl, eyes shut like no one's watching. I'm playing a part, I'm playing a part, I'm playing a part. I open my eyes and see him there. In the back near the door. In the dark. The stage lights are bright on me suddenly. Too bright and they hurt my eyes. I have to hold my hand up to sheild them so I can see him. "Did you find what you were looking for?"

[avasa_edan]

I walk up to her and get on the stage, not wanting to be somewhere where she cannot see me. I want to reach out for her hands, but I stop myself, letting my hands fall to my sides. "I keep coming back to you."

[cassie_newton_]

I look at him and clasp my hands behind myself so I won't be tempted to take his hands. "It seems that way." I say, smiling sadly. I'm playing a part. "I think maybe you're lost." I continue. "I think maybe you're looking for something else."

[avasa_edan]

"Lost? What could I possibly be looking for?" I try for a smile, but it falls short. I'm confused and she's starting to scare me.

[cassie_newton_]

"I'm not sure, but I'm sure it's not me." I say. "I was looking for you, but I don't think I'm supposed to find you." I say. I look away. The music's still there, and I sway back and forth to it, shutting my eyes. I'm playing a part. I'd better play it well.

[avasa_edan]

I think I understand now. Why she won't look at me. Hold my hand like she did in the basement. Like she did earlier in my dream.

"But I found you," my voice feels wrong. Unsteady. "before I lost you." I want her to look me in the eyes, to understand that I'm here and I'm not going away.

[cassie_newton_]

I move through the steps I'm supposed to, the turns and the twirls, but I'm missing the color. I like there to be a lot of colors, not just one. Never just one shade. This dress doesn't have them all and it's too heavy for me. The lights are too bright. I don't feel well. When I open my eyes I'm back in front of him, and then I drop down to my knees, skirt pulling me down with all of its weight. You did but I wasn't what you were missing." I say. "You were looking for something else. Sanctuary." I say. "You were looking for Sanctuary."

[avasa_edan]

I watch her fall down to her knees, concern etched on my face. "but I have that here with you. In this moment. And before." I kneel down in front of her.

"Being here is the most coherant I've been in over a month, and you're a part of that. You are. I'm afraid of waking up, of being--" I stop. Was I looking for Sanctuary, or someone to share it with? Why did I keep coming back here to her?

[cassie_newton_]

I look up at him because I can't stop myself. It's slow like I'm moving in a time that's one beat behind everything else. "Don't be afraid." I say, giving him my sad smile and reaching out to put my fingers to his cheek. "Things will get better. You'll be alright." I lean towards him, and whisper into his ear. "You won't be alone." I promise. I know he won't. I know who he'll be with. Her name is Dawn.

I am playing a part. I must play it well.

[avasa_edan]

I sigh and stand, offering her my hand to help her up. She doesn't think she's special. She doesn't know how wrong she is.

[cassie_newton_]

I look up at his hand, then past it up to focus on his face. "I can't go with you." I say, but take his hand and let him help me up anyways. I don't know if I could have gotten up by myself. I feel even heavier when I stand again, and I look down to see that the color's been leeched out of me. Everything else still has it, but I look like a faded black and white photograph. I look at the grey tone of my skin and sigh. I look back up at him. His eyes are different colors. They're beautiful.