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It has been an interesting last few days. I am sick once more for a change, this time with what has been a dehabilating cold. I would like to remind my body that it was sick with a resurgence of strep throat a mere weak ago, and a (better now) infected eye. Sometimes I wonder...
I have had soem great metaphysical/socio-phiosophical conversations lately with Mischa and a few others which have conveniantely served as room for trying to figure out soem things for myself. 'Whom are we?' Has been perhaps the question of 2005 as I have become a huge promoter of socialization, and have witness so much change in my own being I akm having a hard time finding a coherent self. As I said last night, the self appears to be a collection of thoughts, for some static, for others a rapid transitway of discarded and newly embraced ideologies. It takes little to also remeber how much I have physically changed from years ago. Thus leaving me with less in common then myself of perhaps 3 years ago then many strangers. When we have more in common with distant others or even others in general for that much, the idea of 'me' just becomes more confusing.
Although this only a very poorly written and very small bit of what I have written the jist is all that most ppl have time for or need.
Adding to this confusion was a girl on Satiurday night. I was actually very attracted to her and her to me as I found out later. I entertained the idea of seeing her until the potential for her to get hurt and the sheer confusion of the matter has caused me to be very slow in my deliberation...and also to avoid going on msn where she is.
Furthermore I'm feeling a psycholgical dichomaty between being loud, excited, overly confident and jubilant and brooding, depressive and pessimistic. A pensive and objective lesser exists for both stages but is rare and neither have n e more to dow tih each other then the to dominate moods. What has confused me is how differently I act, think and am perceived between these moods. I feel like I am two people whom should have nothing to do with each other. Do other people find such an extreme difference and/or a duality in self? I just feel like I only exist at extremes with maybe less then 10-15% spent at a slightly lesser degree of one or the other.
On a musical note *pun pun pun*
Theatre of Tragedy: The Complete Discography - FINALLY!
Musique is the only cd I will report on thus far becuase it s the only one I have listened to several times.
-EXCELLANT! It's heavier electronic metal then the more popish Assembly, Darkwave I should think and therefore has more guitars/bass focus but it also interestingly has far better lyrics. It's all about modernity and becoming lost and alienated in the modern world, or at least that has been my inerpretation of it. Thus it's more of a collective and even metaphysical thought then the random and more sexual Assembly.
I also got a haircut. It looks really differen,t but I have gotten only good review so far. I'm looking forward to it being longer so I can spike it.
I have had soem great metaphysical/socio-phiosophical conversations lately with Mischa and a few others which have conveniantely served as room for trying to figure out soem things for myself. 'Whom are we?' Has been perhaps the question of 2005 as I have become a huge promoter of socialization, and have witness so much change in my own being I akm having a hard time finding a coherent self. As I said last night, the self appears to be a collection of thoughts, for some static, for others a rapid transitway of discarded and newly embraced ideologies. It takes little to also remeber how much I have physically changed from years ago. Thus leaving me with less in common then myself of perhaps 3 years ago then many strangers. When we have more in common with distant others or even others in general for that much, the idea of 'me' just becomes more confusing.
Although this only a very poorly written and very small bit of what I have written the jist is all that most ppl have time for or need.
Adding to this confusion was a girl on Satiurday night. I was actually very attracted to her and her to me as I found out later. I entertained the idea of seeing her until the potential for her to get hurt and the sheer confusion of the matter has caused me to be very slow in my deliberation...and also to avoid going on msn where she is.
Furthermore I'm feeling a psycholgical dichomaty between being loud, excited, overly confident and jubilant and brooding, depressive and pessimistic. A pensive and objective lesser exists for both stages but is rare and neither have n e more to dow tih each other then the to dominate moods. What has confused me is how differently I act, think and am perceived between these moods. I feel like I am two people whom should have nothing to do with each other. Do other people find such an extreme difference and/or a duality in self? I just feel like I only exist at extremes with maybe less then 10-15% spent at a slightly lesser degree of one or the other.
On a musical note *pun pun pun*
Theatre of Tragedy: The Complete Discography - FINALLY!
Musique is the only cd I will report on thus far becuase it s the only one I have listened to several times.
-EXCELLANT! It's heavier electronic metal then the more popish Assembly, Darkwave I should think and therefore has more guitars/bass focus but it also interestingly has far better lyrics. It's all about modernity and becoming lost and alienated in the modern world, or at least that has been my inerpretation of it. Thus it's more of a collective and even metaphysical thought then the random and more sexual Assembly.
I also got a haircut. It looks really differen,t but I have gotten only good review so far. I'm looking forward to it being longer so I can spike it.