(no subject)
I'm so boring that I did the memory quiz that was on TV and failed it. Hooray! I got a spout of annoyance when I saw three random people in my year drunk in Rainford- I don't know the feeling! Hmm, well maybe that's not strictly true but meh, I want to be in that situation. It's strange but yes- I do have a desire to yell at innocent people walking past and cause local outrage somehow. I want to drink so much that I blank out and don't remember a single thing. What do I get instead? A fucking night in watching trivial crap, that's what! How am I going to resolve this, then? Firstly, I need people who I can go out with. Secondly, I need money to be able to do anything. Thirdly, I need a very big kick up the backside to get myself into gear. Then finally, I would need a large supply of alcohol that was guaranteed to get me so drunk that I would fall into a state of oblivion. An added bonus would be an interior location for all this to go ahead which didn't require me to have identity or anything (ie a house). I don't see this happening however, so I will just have to continue taking the mints out of my bin and eating them.
Hahaha I don't know why I'm laughing but I worry too much. The amount of times I've said that in an LJ entry must acquaint to at least 500 instances now. Since my first entry 401 days ago, my general rants and raves have bearly changed other than my recent tendance to be as grammatically correct as possible when writing. I still focus on issues which could be resolved with some effort, yet I am still doing nothing about it. I seem to be expecting some mysterious force to simply appear from out the blue and fix everything in an instant. I am guessing that even if I did somehow acquire the confidense to get out there and do something with my life, there'd always be something else lingering on the back burner. I don't believe that you can ever be 100% pleased with everything- there will never be a time when there isn't something or other which you wish was different. I wish I'd not be born into a British society but I was (I must have sinned terribly in my past life!) and there's nothing I can do about that. Freewill permits, however, that I can get the fuck out of this country when I am physically able to make that step- and one day that will be occurring. If I hadn't been born in England,though, I may have wished I was. It's always the case, isn't it?
My life has been far too sheltered, I have concluded. I've seen things from a more positive view than they actually are, and I suppose that's why I find it harder to get on with everything now. Even as a young child I would never play out with friends or invite them round. I went to relatively few parties and I never spoke to anyone who wasn't within my circle of mates. Whereas most people become more sociable when they get older, it would seem I am suffering from the reverse effect. But you all know that now, I think I've made it quite clear enough somehow!
I'm too tired to do anything else now.
Hahaha I don't know why I'm laughing but I worry too much. The amount of times I've said that in an LJ entry must acquaint to at least 500 instances now. Since my first entry 401 days ago, my general rants and raves have bearly changed other than my recent tendance to be as grammatically correct as possible when writing. I still focus on issues which could be resolved with some effort, yet I am still doing nothing about it. I seem to be expecting some mysterious force to simply appear from out the blue and fix everything in an instant. I am guessing that even if I did somehow acquire the confidense to get out there and do something with my life, there'd always be something else lingering on the back burner. I don't believe that you can ever be 100% pleased with everything- there will never be a time when there isn't something or other which you wish was different. I wish I'd not be born into a British society but I was (I must have sinned terribly in my past life!) and there's nothing I can do about that. Freewill permits, however, that I can get the fuck out of this country when I am physically able to make that step- and one day that will be occurring. If I hadn't been born in England,though, I may have wished I was. It's always the case, isn't it?
My life has been far too sheltered, I have concluded. I've seen things from a more positive view than they actually are, and I suppose that's why I find it harder to get on with everything now. Even as a young child I would never play out with friends or invite them round. I went to relatively few parties and I never spoke to anyone who wasn't within my circle of mates. Whereas most people become more sociable when they get older, it would seem I am suffering from the reverse effect. But you all know that now, I think I've made it quite clear enough somehow!
I'm too tired to do anything else now.