(no subject)
I got an email from Tampa's Musical Theatre director.
I let my mom read it so if it said no, I wouldn't be emotionally crushed and destroyed for the show. She's got a good poker face, but when she came up to me after reading it and said "You can still go to maryland," I pretty much assumed it was a no.
And I'm pretty sure I just realized how little of a chance I had.
So I'm trying to think. Where can I go? Anywhere. What can I do? Anything. It's frusterating that the one thing I WANT and plan for and love is the one thing I can't do. Yeah, I sound like a brat, but I don't care. I had no other plan, no major picked out.
It might even be yes.
But that's not even an option in my mind anymore.
And suddenly I'm in this Yossarian-Catch-22 mindset that the world is out to hurt me, and it's all very selfish and stupid and I just want to do what makes me happy. But what if they wont let me?
I let my mom read it so if it said no, I wouldn't be emotionally crushed and destroyed for the show. She's got a good poker face, but when she came up to me after reading it and said "You can still go to maryland," I pretty much assumed it was a no.
And I'm pretty sure I just realized how little of a chance I had.
So I'm trying to think. Where can I go? Anywhere. What can I do? Anything. It's frusterating that the one thing I WANT and plan for and love is the one thing I can't do. Yeah, I sound like a brat, but I don't care. I had no other plan, no major picked out.
It might even be yes.
But that's not even an option in my mind anymore.
And suddenly I'm in this Yossarian-Catch-22 mindset that the world is out to hurt me, and it's all very selfish and stupid and I just want to do what makes me happy. But what if they wont let me?