Oct 17, 2006 00:07
Doing it again, thinking.
thinking thinking. Just read a great book. Cliche if it weren't for the truth in it, as most of Ablom's books are.
What if I had tried harder in 2000? What if I hadn't left home? What if the people at UMass had even tried to talk me out of signing the papers in any way? What if I hadn't have moved back to Concord? What if I hadn't have gone to his house? What if I just walked away, would you notice I was even gone? What if I stopped making bad decisions? What if I stopped trying to please everyone that doesn't matter and focused on the people that do? What If I could accept not being the center of attention? What if you could look at me the way you used to? What if I went back to school? What if I moved home? What if I stayed here? What if I hopped a plane to England? What if I hopped a plane to Beverly Hills? What if it's cancer?...
Sometimes you have to stop asking stupid questions and either live your life firsthand or let it live you.
If you keep your options open all the time, sooner or later you'll find that you've run out of options altogether.
I wish I could sleep.