im not okay
I only type in here when im upset, I think. So people who don't see the day-to-day don't see the good parts of my life. Good parts? Well, i dunno.
Sick of not changing the things I can change. Sick of not know what to about the things I might be able to change. Sick of the idea that I can't write freely in here and organize my thoughts without hurting someone's/anyone's feelings.
I really want a tattoo. I feel like im busting my ass all the time and I have nothing to show for it not even new clothes which i so deprately need for this body of mine that just keeps getting fatter and yes I know I cant afford it and no im not gonna get one but sometimes I think it would be cool to go down to like Miami Ink and let them charge me an arm and a leg to get that tattoo I want.
there was gonna be this huge storm that didnt do any real damage. It was just a few hours of rain and thats the end of it. I was looking for a little more in the hopes of getting my first day off in a month. looks like it's gonna be about two more weeks of solid work before I get a day off. working all this overtime to save money and do what needs to be done but every day I just feel completely drained. It's like being at Peter's all over again, but worse, hours wise. Granted my job is pretty damn easy other than the stress of being surrounded by fucking idiots all the time.
Is it worse to live a lie to get where you need to be in life or to be true to yourself but be at rock bottom forever?
can a lifetime of good deeds make of for injustices done in your youth?
Lately I've been wondering about what compells people. I know I can't live people's lives for them, I'm too busy fucking up my own. Just it's so hard to watch people spiral down when the grab onto my heart to catch themselves and end up tearing it out. Why do we put so much of our time and effort into worrying about people who treat us wrong and make us hurt and feel worthless when the people who love us the most that we know will always be there get overlooked as if they didnt even exist? sigh.
Sick of not changing the things I can change. Sick of not know what to about the things I might be able to change. Sick of the idea that I can't write freely in here and organize my thoughts without hurting someone's/anyone's feelings.
I really want a tattoo. I feel like im busting my ass all the time and I have nothing to show for it not even new clothes which i so deprately need for this body of mine that just keeps getting fatter and yes I know I cant afford it and no im not gonna get one but sometimes I think it would be cool to go down to like Miami Ink and let them charge me an arm and a leg to get that tattoo I want.
there was gonna be this huge storm that didnt do any real damage. It was just a few hours of rain and thats the end of it. I was looking for a little more in the hopes of getting my first day off in a month. looks like it's gonna be about two more weeks of solid work before I get a day off. working all this overtime to save money and do what needs to be done but every day I just feel completely drained. It's like being at Peter's all over again, but worse, hours wise. Granted my job is pretty damn easy other than the stress of being surrounded by fucking idiots all the time.
Is it worse to live a lie to get where you need to be in life or to be true to yourself but be at rock bottom forever?
can a lifetime of good deeds make of for injustices done in your youth?
Lately I've been wondering about what compells people. I know I can't live people's lives for them, I'm too busy fucking up my own. Just it's so hard to watch people spiral down when the grab onto my heart to catch themselves and end up tearing it out. Why do we put so much of our time and effort into worrying about people who treat us wrong and make us hurt and feel worthless when the people who love us the most that we know will always be there get overlooked as if they didnt even exist? sigh.